The Gods Must be Crazy
by epicsilverbullet
Summary: A collection of one shots, small (some not-so-small) moments in the lives of Percy, Annabeth, and everybody else, because- hell, why not, and if life, the eternal journey, is not about the destination but the journey itself, what make up the journey, what are the only things you have when everything else is gone? The moments. The memories you choose to remember forever.
1. Shopping

**A/N: Just a note about this story-it has no end! Whenever an idea for a one shot comes to my mind, I'll post it, so be prepared for irregular posting. And since I'm going on vacation for two weeks, i might not be able to update often, so I'm going to start off this story and two others. If youwant a certain idea to be posted, PM me and I'll write it up for you. Other than that, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own PJO**

* * *

Annabeth POV

"Oh, no."

"Come on! Please?"

"Well…let me think about it…NO."

"It'll be fun!"

"Nope. Not a chance."

"Will you do it for me?"

"Annabeth, I love you to death, but there is absolutely _no way_ I am spending a perfectly good Saturday shopping with you."

"Excuse me?"

"Um, emphasis on the "shopping" part. Not the "with you" part."

"I thought so. But we can get ice cream afterwards!"

"I'll be at your house in ten minutes."

I chuckled as he hung up. All I had to do was promise him food in some way, shape, or form and he would do whatever I wanted.

True to his word, the Seaweed Brain rang the doorbell of my house ten minutes and twelve seconds later. When I opened the door, I found him standing there in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Hey, Wise Girl!" he said, smiling at me.

I pretended to be mad and frowned at him. "You're twelve seconds late."

He rolled his eyes and held up a credit card. "The Stoll brothers stole-gave me this card. It has the same effect as those Lotus Casino cards, so you can buy whatever you want."

I grinned and nodded at him, and he led me over to his ride-a red convertible Maserati Spyder, an eighteenth birthday gift from his parents.

When we got to the mall, the first thing I noticed was that there were hordes of teenage girls everywhere. And every single one of them was staring at Percy and undressing him with their eyes, which irritated me to no end.

In fact, we were walking, Percy's arm around my waist, when one of them walked up to us, caked in makeup and dressed in shoelace clothing, and removed Percy's arm from my waist and put it around her waist.

I glared at her as she giggled flirtatiously and said, "Hello."

Bewildered, Percy put his arm back around my waist and said, "Um…do I know you?"

She giggled again. "No…" she ran her hands down his shirt, feeling his abs and ending at his pants, and said, "But by tonight, that could all change…"

Percy was starting to look seriously freaked out. "Um, no," he said, "I already have a girlfriend." And as we started walking, heading away from the girl who had a furious look on her face, he called over his shoulder, "And she isn't dating me just to get in my pants!"

I turned to him and smirked once we were a safe distance away. "It's a good thing you declined. I don't know what I would've done to you if you'd agreed."

He nodded. "This group of sluts in my school has a bet-whichever one of them sleeps with me first wins. And it's made my life a living Hades."

I frowned. "Have any of them won?"

He shook his head. "Of course not! And I don't plan on letting them! Although…" he whispered in my ear, "You _are_ dating me for reasons other than getting in my pants. Right?"

I rolled my eyes. "I've saved your sorry ass more times than I can count! I've known you for six years! I am your _girlfriend!"_

He still looked unsure. "So…is that a yes or a no?"

I sighed exasperatingly. "No! I'm not dating you just to get in your pants! Now, come on, we need to start shopping! Its ten and I need to get home by five!"

He groaned, and that commenced our shopping spree. Well, actually, it was more like my shopping spree and his "being mad" spree. When we were walking to the store, I heard him grumbling under his breath, "Women fahpsecim so damn stubborn aosidmcaiuhf why do I even bother…"

Up until noon, I just bought a few necklaces and a pair of black Converse. Right before lunch, I was about to enter Claire's, but Percy took one look inside the store and stopped me. "Hey," he said gently, "You don't need any of that stuff to "enhance your features" or whatever. I think you look much more beautiful without it." And he proceeded to steer me, with my red-as-a-tomato face, into the food court.

Percy, being the gentleman that he was, had been carrying the bags the whole way. We got to a table, and he gave me two twenties. "Can you get me an orange chicken with noodles from Panda Express?" he asked pleadingly.

I smirked at him. "Even though that food is unhealthy and will probably kill you? Sure thing."

I went to Panda Express and ended up getting two of those, because even though it's unhealthy as Hades, it actually sounded like it would taste good.

I came back with two of those Styrofoam trays of Chinese food, and was met with a weird sight. I saw Percy sitting at our table, flanked by four or five girls who were probably all trying to hit on him. He locked eyes with me and mouthed _HELP!_

I shook my head. To earn respect from me, he had to get himself out of this one.

He sighed and got up from the table. In two strides, he took the food away from me, set it down, and kissed me for all he was worth.

I don't know how long we stood there. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, or millennia. But I knew that he kept kissing me until every last one of the annoying girls had stormed off, muttering angrily under their breath.

He broke away and, annoyed, I tried to pull him back for more. He just chuckled and ducked away. "Yes, I know how you feel," he told me. "But shouldn't we be eating our lunch instead of each other?"

I blushed bright red, and we quickly finished our lunch so we could set off for another round of shopping.

When we got to Forever 21, I turned to him and said, "Alright, I think you've earned this. You get to pick out all the clothes I try on here, okay?"

His eyes lit up in excitement. "Sure thing!" he exclaimed as he started to venture out into the store.

I grabbed him by his shirt sleeve and yanked him back. "And, under _no_ circumstances can there be any underwear," I said sternly. He pouted, but I leaned in and whispered in his ear, "That comes later."

His eyes just about bugged out of his head as he scampered off to the clothing archives of the store. I chuckled to myself. Boys will be boys.

He came back soon, a mountain load of clothes in his arms. He shot me a cocky grin. "Shall we proceed?" he asked.

I went into the changing room and tried on the selection he picked. They were mostly jeans and t-shirts, and there were some denim short shorts. When I tried those on, his jaw dropped and he stared at me. I giggled and said, "My face is up here, Percy."

He looked up, startled, and then grumbled, "Hmm? Oh, yes. I knew that."

We ended up doing the same treatment at the next few stores that I visited, and after American Eagle, I check my watch. Half past four. "One more store to hit before ice cream," I said.

He closed his eyes and said, "Father Poseidon, please let her say what I hope she's going to say…"

I smirked. "Victoria's Secret."

He pumped his fist and leaped up in the air. "Yes!" But when he saw the death glare I was giving him, he stopped and said, "Um, uh, well. Okay. Sure."

I rolled my eyes and we set off to the store. When we arrived, once again Percy was being drooled over by every teenage girl in the store. And once again, it irritated me to no end. I grabbed a few, uh, _things_ and headed off to the changing room.

When I went back to the store, though, I found Percy flirting with the saleslady. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he caught my eye and winked. _What does he have planned now? _I thought.

He grinned at the saleslady. "So," he started, "What's a pretty lady like you doing here without a guy to keep you company?" he took a step closer to her and she blushed.

"Oh! Well-" she stuttered, and I chuckled, hidden behind some clothing racks. "I-I thought…um, you came in with your, uh, girlfriend, so-"

Percy cut her off with a wave of his hand. "She isn't my girlfriend. You, on the other hand…"

The saleslady giggled and started ringing up the things I got. "Oh, by the way," Percy leaned over the counter and his lips brushed her temple. "I forgot a coupon for eighty percent off at my house. Do you think you could…"

"Of-of course," she said, still bright red.

She handed all of my stuff to him in a bag, and he was about to leave when he noticed something on the counter. "Oh my god…" he breathed, dropping the bags. He turned to the saleslady. "Are those catalogs free?"

She nodded. "You can take them if you want to."

He rubbed his hands together with glee. "Alright then," and he started picking up the magazines. "Summer addition, winter addition, spring, fall, swimsuit-"

I decided it was time to step in, so I snatched the catalogs from his hands, gave them back to the saleslady, grabbed a fistful of his jet-black hair, and steered him out of the store.

I glared at him and put my hands on my hips. "Why would you flirt with that saleslady? And look at the catalogs?"

He raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, I was just trying to get eighty percent off!"

My glare got even stronger. "Eighty percent off coupons don't exist. And the Lotus Casino credit cards don't have a money limit," I said in an icy tone, "And what about the catalogs."

He gulped and took a step back. "Well, I was just, uh, thinking about buying a, uh, Christmas present!"

"It's spring break."

"…"

"And you're a guy. With no friends of the female type who are not your girlfriend. Except your mom. And Rachel."

He visibly paled. "Well, uh, hehe..."

"Whatever," I turned on one heel and walked away, Percy catching up to me while balancing bags in his arms. "You're buying ice cream."

He pouted, and then I noticed something as he fell back behind me. I turned around. "Why do you always walk behind me?"

"Because. These bags are heavy and they slow down my speed," he replied.

"Right. And Hades wears pink underwear."

He sighed. "If I tell you, do you promise that you won't kill me?"

I shrugged. "Sure. How bad can the answer be?"

He took a deep breath. "The answer to your question," he said slowly, "Is… becauseyouhaveaniceass."

He said it really quickly, but I could still understand him. I turned around slowly, and I imagined my eyes red with anger. "Perseus Jackson," I began calmly, "YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT TO ME!"

He looked around, weighing his options, and decided to make a run for it. I chased him to the parking lot, ignoring the stares we got. "You promised not to kill me!" he called.

I scowled. "I didn't swear on the River Styx!"

He cursed under his breath as he made a mad dash for his car. And all I can say is that when someone is trying to kill you, and that someone is your girlfriend, the worst thing to do is try to hide in a bag of that person's underwear.

And I'm sure that, after I finished pummeling him, his balls hurt for weeks.

* * *

**A/N: Review Please! Tell me what you think!**


	2. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**Sorry if you think this is a new chapter! But I will MOST LIKELY not be able to post any more chapters until August 16th. I know its bad of me and I'm sorry! But i will most likely not have any more internet connection because I'm on vacation. But I'll work overtime and post extra on the 16th, so there will be a lot more updates on both of my stories. Remember, check on the 16th.  
**

**-epicsilverbullet  
**


	3. You make me smile

**A/N: Well I guess I lied in the author's note, because I found a wireless internet connection thingy in my suitcase! I might be able to upadte three or four times in the next two weeks, and then after August Sixteenth it will be back to my regular schedule.**

**The idea for this chapter came from something my friend did for me one day at school. I hope you like it, so review!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

Annabeth Chase was having a lousy day.

* * *

_Flashback_

"Now," said her Greek Mythology teacher, Ms. Krabappel, in a fake sugary sweet voice, "Who can tell me the answer to this question..." her eyes settled on a pretty California girl with blonde hair staring out the window, "...Annabeth! Name all the major Greek gods and their heritages!"

Annabeth was, at the moment, preoccupied with thoughts of what she was going to do after the last minute of the first Friday of school, which ended in fifteen minutes. But for a child of Athena like her, it wouldn't be a major pain just to answer one last question.

She smirked. "Easy. Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Demeter, Hera, and Hestia are all children of Kronos and Rhea. Aphrodite was born out of the sea foam that resulted from the death of Ouranos, Zeus's grandfather. Hermes is a son of Zeus and Maia, Dionysus is a son of Zeus and Semele, Apollo and Artemis were twins of Zeus and Leto, Athena was born out of Zeus's split skull during battle, and Ares and Hephaestus are the only sons of Zeus and Hera."

For the rest of the kids in class, from knowing Annabeth Chase for a few years, this explanation was deemed normal. They all knew she was smart. But Ms. Krabappel, she really was a crabapple. She was biased on Annabeth's hair color and good looks, like someone of that type couldn't be smart. And she was the kind of teacher who overreacted and always tried to find ways to ridicule her students, even if they were doing nothing wrong.

Unfortunately, everybody knows a few examples of those types of people.

Annabeth watched, satisfied, as her evil Greek Mythology teacher was stunned for a while, However, she then smiled triumphantly. "Wrong! Apollo and Artemis aren't twins! Apollo is older! That's an F for you in today's class participation!"

Annabeth was stunned for a second, but then quickly got mad. How dare she question the intelligence of a child of Athena! She was about to tell her teacher exactly where she should stick her class participation when Apollo spoke in her mind. _Easy, babe, _he said. _I got this. And by the_ _way, you're right, we're twins._

_What do you mean by "I got this"? _she asked, confused.

But then, grinning evilly, Ms. Krabappel proceeded to walk to the blackboard, and slip on a banana peel Annabeth could've sworn wasn't there two seconds ago. She fell flat on her back, but then leaped to her feet with startling speed. She glared at Annabeth, fire in her eyes, and said, "Ms. Chase! Detention today!" which was completely unfair seeing as Annabeth didn't do anything, but what Athena child would even think about (gasp!) arguing with a teacher?

Notice the sarcasm there.

Again, Apollo saved Annabeth from probably getting more detention right before she was about to tell her teacher exactly what she thought of her detention. _How was that, sweetheart?_

_ERR ES KORAKAS, YOU PIG HEADED IDIOT! _was her reply. _And don't call me sweetheart!_

_I got back at the teacher for you!  
_

_And got me detention in the process!  
_

Apollo sighed. _Whatever, babe. Call me._ And with that, her audience with the god of too many things to count on one's right hand was over.

* * *

Ms. Krabappel, being the evil dracenae witch that she was, had managed to keep Annabeth in detention for an extra hour. So now you know why said person was exiting a subway train at half past five in the afternoon, grumbling to herself angrily._  
_

Ms. Krabappel had said that the extra detention time would "give you time to be more creative and believable in your lies." At least she got that part down pat. Annabeth had already thought of two hundred-thirteen ways to kill her using common household objects, and of ways she could get away with it, too.

She was angrily pushing past innocent New Yorkers who probably didn't need an angry, hot-tempered girl screwing with their day any more than it had already been screwed with, until one of them turned to her.

Their eyes widened in surprise. "Annabeth!" said a familiar voice that she would normally have loved to hear, had she not been in a bad mood. "I've been looking all over for you! Are you all-"

"Save it, Percy," she snapped, cutting him off, "I've already had a bad day, I don't need you to ruin it any more.

In response, Percy pulled something out of his pocket, held it up to show it to her, and grinned.

Annabeth gasped. It was a sheet of loose leaf, probably one that Percy doodled on during class. But written on the paper in blue Magic Marker (Annabeth had no idea how he got that in a high school) were four simple words: "You Make Me Smile."

Annabeth's whole crummy day did a one-eighty in all of three and a half milliseconds. Eyes brimming with tears of happiness, she leaped into his arms and gave him a bone-crushing hug, ignoring the stares and smiles they were getting from people. "I needed that," she said into his ocean-smelling shirt.

He smiled as she laid her head on his shoulder. "I thought you might."

And up on Olympus, though they would later deny it profoundly, both Poseidon and Athena hid smiles as the two embraced in the middle of Fifth Avenue.

* * *

**A/N: REVIEW!**


	4. Belly Buttons and Pervertedness

**A/N: This is an short, random fanfiction that I whipped up in ten minutes after I got an idea from a different story, but I think it's an interesting take on the usefullness of Percy's intelligence. Reivew!  
**

**Disclaimer:I don't own PJO**

* * *

They were sitting on the couch. Two teenagers. One boy, and one girl. Alone. At night.

Most other parents wouldn't allow it, but Sally and Paul knew how important it was for Percy to be able to spend time with his girlfriend, who was usually occupied with the rebuilding of Olympus. So, when they went out for dinner one night, they let Percy invite Annabeth over to watch a few movies.

Naturally, since Percy didn't have said girlfriend with him a lot to correct him, he had been doing a lot of interesting thinking. It was an interesting type of thinking because he didn't think while he was thinking it, and that may sound stupid to just about everyone else on this earth, but for someone with a Seaweed Brain like Percy's? It somehow made more sense than anything else.

He's been doing a lot of thinking, mostly about what Annabeth had said to him on Mt. St. Helens. About how Athena's kids weren't born in the normal way. He had some...interesting questions about that, but he couldn't ask them without sounding like a perverted idiot.

But ADHD and Dr. Pepper is a dangerous combination, so in the middle of Friday the Thirteenth (both the movie and the day), he turned to Annabeth and said, "Can I ask you something?"

At that moment, Annabeth had her head buried in Percy's stomach, frightened at the sight on the screen. She merely nodded, too scared to do anything else for fear that she would hear another horrifying scream.

He didn't know how to phrase the question any other way, so he just decided to say it, "Do you have a belly button?"

Out of the world of possible questions to ask, he chose that one?

Movie forgotten, Annabeth snapped her head up and turned to look at her idiotic boyfriend. "Say what?"

"You heard me."

"What is your logic behind that?"

"Well," he began, blushing, "on Mt. St. Helens, you said that Athena's kids weren't born in the normal way. And since only babies who were born by- in the normal way have belly buttons, do you..." he trailed off at the end of the sentence.

Annabeth paused the movie and shook her head. "So that's the kind of thinking you do when I'm not around to correct it. Your girlfriend's anatomy and parts of her body."

"Hey!" he said, blushing even more furiously, even though what she said was exactly right.

She rolled her eyes and smirked at him. "Well, why don't you check for yourself?"

Out of all the possible answers to that question, Percy got the luckiest one.

"Say what?" he asked.

"You heard me."

"What is your logic behind that? What if my mom comes in at that exact moment and sees her son lifting up his girlfriend's shirt?"

She giggled and stretched out on the couch. "At that point, will it matter much?"

That drove his adolescent mind to the brink of insanity, and he reached his hand down to her shirt. "Um...can I?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "If not, don't you think you'd be dead by now?"

He shrugged and then lifted her shirt, trying not to notice her curves or athletically toned complexion, but failing miserably at it.

She giggled and said, "Not you know what it feels like when you take off your shirt."

He looked at her stomach and-voila! There it was! Right where most normal kids' belly buttons were. "How...how do you have one?" he said before being forced to pull her shirt down so she wouldn't think that the Savior of Olympus could be shut up by looking at his girlfriend.

She smirked and leaned forward, whispering something into his ear. His eyes widened and he leaped off the couch to empty his dinner into the toilet. He came back in a few minutes, pale and sweaty."I...I really did not need to know all that."

She shrugged and played the movie. "You asked."

They watched the movie in silence for a little while, until Percy got an idea.

"Hey Annabeth?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you have...the upper part of your leg? Like between your hip and your knee?"

SMACK!

"Ow!"

"Nice try, pervert."


	5. Mission: Impossible

**A/N: First off I want to say thank you to:  
**

**sheilarae1234, PercyJacksonAddict, ForeverintheShade, Soccerlover5959, Amy's Mischievous Little Owl, I-Was-Born-To-Be-Somebody, Shur'tugal Daughter of Artemis, and Elena C. Jackson for the reviews! And don't worry, Daughter of Artemis, I'm currently finishing up a sadder chapter to this story. **

**I decided to take a weird and different approach to this story. The whole thing is from Percy's point of view, set between BoTL and TLO. And I DO NOT believe in Rachel being a conceited brat, but I needed her to seem like one for this story. Enjoy! R&R!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

Ring, ring.

Eh, I'm all comfortable on this couch. Whoever's calling can wait.

Dial tone.

"Hey, Perce! Rachel here! Listen, my dad's hosting a party on March 31st, which is a week from now, and he'll be having over a bunch of his corporate workers and stuff. I'll be the only kid there, and I'll be bored if I don't bring someone, so was wondering if you'd come? It starts at four and it's going to be all formal and stuff. Since we're rich, it'll be awesome, and there are a lot of rooms in our house where we could go to and...do stuff...in private...anyways, call me back if you can come! Bye!"

Click.

Well, whatever. I have nothing to do on March 31st since it's the second day of spring break. I might as well-

Ring, ring.

GOD DAMMIT DOES NO ONE REALIZE WHEN A GUY JUST WANTS TO WATCH JURASSIC PARK?!

Dial tone.

"Hi, Seaweed Brain! Um, ever since you trapped Atlas under the sky and all, Mount Othyrs has been fine. And I wanted to be close to you- I mean, camp and my friends. So I bugged my dad into moving back to New York, and he surprisingly agreed. We hadn't really unpacked from moving to San Fransisco so we pretty much just need to put boxes on a plane. Anyways, we'll be arriving on the 27th, but I'll probably be jet lagged until a few days later, probably till the 31st. I'm telling you this because I wanted to know if, uh, you wanted to... dosomethingtogether? 'Cuz I know I was being rude to you last year, leaving you on the hill and all, and I wanted to apologize. So call me back if you can come. Bye!"

Well, aren't I popular? Hehe, looks like I got two dates to go to with two-

CRAP!

"Percy! The painters are coming in to redo our kitchen on the thirty-first, so you'll need to be out of the house from around four to seven!"

DOUBLE CRAP!

Annabeth...or Rachel... or Annabeth... or Rachel... or Annabeth

Well, I definitely like Annabeth more. She's a lot prettier and a lot more fun to be around than Rachel. But with Annabeth, I feel like she's analyzing and interpreting anything I say.

* * *

Example #1:

"Hey, Annabeth."

Okay, "Hey, Annabeth." What could that mean? Well, I'll break it down into the interjection "hey" and the proper noun "Annabeth." Could "hey" mean that I did something bad to him and he was reprimanding me for it? Like, "Hey! ANNABETH!" Or could it be the derogatory term for "hello" used these days? Or could he just be saying "hay"? Nah, probably hello. He's trying to say hello to me. Couldn't he just have been straightforward?

"Hey, Seaweed Brain."

Example #2:

"Hey, Rachel."

"Hey, Percy."

* * *

Well, I already know what my answer is going to be. Might as well call now.

Ring, ring.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hi. It's me, Percy."

"Oh. Hey, Perce. You get my message?"

"Yeah. I, uh, just wanted to let you know that I can come."

"Oh. Really?"

"No. I'm just calling to get your hopes up."

"What?"

"Yes, I can come."

"Ohhhhh..."

"And, uh, thanks for calling."

"Yeah. I just didn't know if you would come. Because you've been hanging out a lot with, uh _her_."

"Who?"

"You know. Her."

"Her...?"

Exasperated sigh. "You know, the girl with the weird-colored hair? The dumb one?"

"Oh. Oh, her?"

"Yes, her."

"So just because of her hair color you assume she's dumb?"

"I never said that!"

"Well, when you described her, the two things you used were 'dumb' and 'weird hair color'."

"Well, you can't deny it!"

"Yeah, I guess she is kinda stupid."

"..."

"Annabeth?"

"Yeah?"

"I, uh- I just wanted to say thanks for calling me."

"Oh. Why?"

"Because I kind of felt that I was rude to you last year, when you left me on Half-Blood Hill. And I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know if you would bite my head off or not."

Un-Annabeth style giggle. "Well, if I hadn't called, what would you have done?"

"I'd probably be a forever alone guy."

"What are you implying?"

"..."

"I'm just teasing! So come pick me up at four at my house, 'kay?"

"Alright. Oh, by the way. Where is your house?"

"Oh, you'll know."

"What?"

Click.

_Girls!_

Wait a minute...I'm going on a date...with Annabeth...

DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI DIDIDIDI

DUN!

DUN, DUN, DUN-DUN, DUN, DUN, DUN-DUN, DUN, DUN, DUN-DUN, DUN, DUN, DUN-DUN

DA DEE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO

DA DEE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO

DA DEE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO

DA DA!

DEE DOO DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA

DEE DOO DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

"Percy! Please will you stop that racket?"

"Sorry, mom."

And yes, I did just get yelled at for singing the "Mission: Impossible" theme song. But who cares? I've got a date!

DA DEE DOOOOOOOOOO_

"PERSEUS JACKSON!"

_Girls!_

* * *

Driving to Annabeth's house is fun because I get to turn off my brain and just think about Annabeth. Ah...Annabeth...blond...Annabeth...smart...Annabeth HOLY SHIT NO ONE TOLD ME THAT WHEN RED LIGHTS APPEAR THEN BABIES IN STROLLERS CROSS THE ROAD! OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHG ODOHGOD AHHHHHHHHH

CRASH!

The thing I hate most about demigod dreams is that most of the time, they either show you what's happening at that exact moment, or what's going to happen in the future.

But I must pay attention! A week has passed It is time!

INITIATE GHOST PROTOCOL. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE IS A GO.

Ah, well. Time to turn off my brain and focus on only Annabeth. Ah...Annabeth...blond...Annabeth...smart...Annabeth...oh, cool, no baby. Hehe, maybe real life sometimes _can _be better than dreamland. In your face, Morpheus!

Finding Annabeth's house is easy. Just look for the one that has a Frank Lloyd Wright style. And believe me, after Annabeth's boring lectures on that, I know what it looks like.

Ding dong ding doooooong. Dong ding ding doooooooooooong.

"Hey, Seaweed Brain."

"Hi, Annabeth."

"What, no Wise Girl?"

"I figured the two were interchangeable."

"Awwww, that was sweet! I think."

"And did you notice how I used a big word?"

"Which one?"

"Interchangeable."

"Uh, cool. Now come on, where are we going?"

"Well, since we never were actually able to go on that date last year, I figured we could do that today."

"Oh, you mean that _non-_date?"

"Yeah, the one where those empousai made me blow up the school."

"Oh."

I'm actually kind of scared now. Driving to the movie theater with Annabeth in silence is scary. Because I know that she's remembering the day I blew up the school and Rachel Elizabeth Dare interrupted our _non-_date.

She's making all of the deadly signs to see from a girl- at least, mine and Homer Simpsons's list of deadly signs. Drumming her fingers on the dashboard, occasionally stomping her feet on the floor, making grunts and noises like she's yelling at me in her head.

Oh, well. Tower Heist should be funny. She should like that.

"Okay, fine, you guys are now officially ready to steal."

"Wait, we can steal, how do we know that you can steal?"

"You want to question my stealing abilities?"

"Well, since I'm a guy who just went to Victoria's Secret, shoved lingerie down the front of his pants, and gave it to another guy... yeah."

"YOU ALL GAVE ME YOUR WALLETS AND I JUST MADE $264, NEVER GIVE YOUR WALLETS TO A THIEF!"

Well, that movie was _beyond _awesome and hilarious. It was freaking amazing! And I'm just glad Annabeth and I didn't do that cheesy hands-meet-in-popcorn-and-stare-at-each-other-for-the-rest-of-movie thing. Our hands met in the popcorn, but we just had an all-out popcorn brawl in the last row. Lucky for us, no one noticed.

Driving back to Annabeth's house is a lot better than driving from it. She seems to have forgotten about that day and is just enjoying the ride, and we're talking and laughing. It feels...good. At least, way better than anything I could have felt with Rachel.

Sigh. I don't like the fact that I reached Annabeth's house already.

"I had fun today, Seaweed Brain."

"I did, too."

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For paying for the extra tub of popcorn that made up for the one we threw at each other. And letting me eat the whole thing. And annoying you about it all the way back."

"Oh, that was nothing. I'd do anyth- that is, guys are supposed to pay for that kind of stuff." Kiss her already!

Raised eyebrow. "You got something to say to me, Seaweed Brain?"

"You'd probably kick my butt."

"You _know _I'd kick your butt."

Pause. Kiss her! "For some reason, I'm getting a feeling we're going to be having this conversation again." Not that, you idiot!

"Yeah, so do I. But I ask you again, you have something to say to me?"

"Uh, I, uh...well, um..." KISS HER!

"Seaweed Brain, if you don't kiss me right now I'll-"

BONK!

"OW!"

"Hey, it's not my fault! I've never done it before!"

"What about last year?"

"That was _you _kissing _me!_ And it was only for a second!"

"I thought you were going to die! And plus-"

WHOA.

"Did I do it right this time?"

"Um ah gah..."

"So, uh...see you later?"

"Uhhhhh... Oh. Yeah, sure."

Awkward silence.

"Hey, Annabeth?"

"Yeah?"

"You want your gum back?"

"Um, that's kind of gross. And how would you even manage-"

DOUBLE WHOA.

* * *

**A/N: Love it? (probably not) Hate it? (probably) Tell me how it came out! REVIEW!**


	6. ADHD and Sports Cars

**A/N: Sorry for the long update time!**

**Anyways, I was watching Modern Family the other day and got an idea for a one-shot. So here it is! REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

**Percy POV**

"_And_ it does 30 miles to the gallon," said Mike, sounding very proud of himself.

I sighed. Mike was a good friend, had been since college. He had gotten a successful job as a car dealer, and was currently helping me buy a car for my family. Even though we already had a sedan. But we needed another one, because one car couldn't bring both Annabeth and I to work.

Next to me, Travis Stoll shook his head. "I'm not feeling it," he said.

Travis, like me, had been bugged by Katie to buy a car so much that he finally cracked. He and I were shopping for a car together, to try and ease the pain a little.

Mike sighed. "What are you looking for, then?"

As if we could speak to each other in our minds, both Travis and I looked towards a car on display. I pointed to it. "That one."

It was a red convertible Maserati Spyder, and I honestly didn't give a shit about gas milegae, or safety features, or anything. I just wanted to drive it with the top down, shades on, hair blowing in the wind, like a surfer boy, and have chicks running after it. Even though I was already married.

And one look at Travis told me he felt the same way.

The three of us walked over to the car and admired it for a while. All the while, Mike was blabbering about four-wheel drive and airbag technology, but Travis and I were talking about something possibly more fatal than a car accident: what our wives would say.

I gestured towards the car. "Almost makes me wish I was single again."

He snorted. "It _almost_ makes you feel that way. I'd buy this in a heartbeat if my wife didn't have the ability to cover my in poison ivy."

"You'd get a divorce just to drive this car?"

"Well," he said, "Maybe I'd run away to California. For one day."

I sighed. "I know how you feel. But seriously, they'll never let us get that. Annabeth will throw a fit."

"Yeah. Same with Katie."

Mike finished his mindless chattering and walked over to us. "You decided yet?"

Travis shook his head. "I want to, but I can't."

Mike looked at me. "Perce?"

I tilted my head to the side. "Eh...how much is it?"

"Same as the one you were just looking at."

"Serious?"

He nodded. "It's on sale today, guess the gods are watching over you."

_You have no idea_, I thought, sending a silent prayer of thanks to Apollo, the god of cool cars. Out loud, I said, "I...want to, but..."

He chuckled. "Lemme guess- the wife won't let you?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah. She'll get mad. And when Annabeth's mad..." I let the sentence trail off, allowing them to use their imagination.

Travis turned to me and said, "Dude! Live a little! You're twenty-three, when's the next time you're going to get a chance like this?"

I stayed silent, lost in thought. Why would I not want to get it? The only obstacle in my way is what Annabeth would think...

Or, I could just wow her with my epicly awesome godly good looks and make her forget that she was supposed to be mad at me.

That was the impatient, overconfident, ADHD talking.

I turned to Mike and said, "I'll take it!"

He grinned. "Excellent choice!"

I paid for the car, signed all the papers and stuff, and Travis and I went for a spin.

True to our word, we had the windows rolled down, shades on, hair blowing in the wind. _And_ we were getting stares from all the chicks. Driving that epic supercar around Manhattan, laughing and talking with Travis- I felt like an unmarried teenager again.

But then I pulled up to my house, and little things such as being married started to creep up into my brain.

We got out of the car and I locked it, and we both pulled off our shades, leaning against the car and lost deep in thought.

After a while, I checked my watch and turned to Travis. "Five-thirty. Annabeth should be home any minute."

We both had troubled expressions on our faces. "She's not gonna be happy about it," said Travis. And if it seemed like a stupid thing for two of the Heroes of Olympus to be terrified of our wives- it isn't.

To add to how lucky my day's been, Annabeth's car suddenly came into view, and she pulled up to the house.

I gulped and turned to Travis as Annabeth got out of the car with a murderous look in her eyes. "Hey, Travie," I said, "You wanna..I don't know, go and get a beer or something?"

He noticed Annabeth walking towards us and said, "Oh...uh, no, I'm good."

I was starting to get desperate. "Well, how about we take the car for a spin," I pleaded. Then, I hissed in his ear, "You gotta save me!"

Usually, Travis would just grin and walk away, but I think we both knew how grave the situation was. "Uh, listen, Perce," he replied, "I'll catch you later." Then he started walking down the driveway.

Annabeth was taking her own sweet time coming, so I ran up to Travis and said, "Hey, do you want a ride home?"

He shook his head nervously and said, "I-I'm gonna jog, I'll just-"

"Naw, you live uptown, and I'm midtown! That'll take a while!"

He shook his head and started to sprint away, "No! It's okay, I'll just-I'll just jog!" And he was gone. That abandoner.

I gulped as Annabeth walked up to me. She looked at the car and said, "Interesting choice."

Wary of what else she could say, I said, "Uh, y-yeah, um...glad you like it?"

She shrugged and kissed me on the cheek. "Be inside for dinner in an hour, and don't use it to pick up girls, okay?"

I couldn't do anything but nod, "Uh, yeah. Okay."

I saw Travis walk back towards me, talking on the phone. He said, "Uh, yeah, Katie. I'll be back for dinner in an hour. Yes, I won't use it to flirt with girls. Uh, love you, too. Bye."

He hung up, put his phone in his pocket, and stared at me, and something passed between us. We looked at the car, then back at each other.

"What just happened?"

* * *

**A/N: How did you like that? I've always thought, for all the pairings in PJO, that the guys are fearless warriors when it comes to battle, but the cower in front of their female counterparts. It's always fun to write Percy as the sweet boyfriend, a little terrified of Annabeth.**

**Anyways, REVIEW!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	7. Hopeless Celebrity Crushes

**A/N: Just an idea I had because me and my bf were watching Transformers (again) and he said he thought Megan Fox was hot. o.O**

**So then I named all of _my_ celebrity crushes, which shut him up, and later I realized that I could use that as a perfect Percabeth moment!**

**So, REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

Annabeth bent over, looking through the racks of movies they had. "What should we watch?" she asked Percy, who was too busy staring at the view she was giving him to answer.

She turned around, a piece of hair falling into her eyes. "I said," she spoke in a deadly tone and Percy gulped, "What movie should we watch?"

Percy shrugged. "I dunno. Transformers?"

"You're only saying that because Megan Fox is in it!"

"Well, what do you want to watch?"

"Uh... Cowboys and Aliens."

"You're only saying that because Daniel Craig is in it!"

Annabeth sighed and sat down on the couch next to Percy. "No," she said, "I'm saying that because it's a cool movie. But we can't watch either, because they'll wake up Hailey."

"Oh." Percy hadn't thought of that, "So what should we watch?"

Annabeth shrugged. "Anything that doesn't have a woman acting in it."

"I'm pretty sure all movies have women acting in them."

"I meant as the main role."

"Okay..." Percy thought, "How about...the Lucky One?"

"That has Taylor Shilling, the blonde beauty."

"I already have a blonde beauty."

Annabeth blushed and gave Percy a shove. "Stop being cheesy!" she commanded.

Percy looked at her. "Why don't we just watch Transformers and turn the volume down?"

"I'm not letting you watch a movie with Megan Fox in it!"

"Well, excuse me if I think Megan Fox is hot!"

"WHAT?!"

Percy gulped and looked around, searching out all possible escape routes. "Um, did I say hot? I meant...not?"

Annabeth glared at him. "Well then. We'll just have to watch the Hunger Games."

"Why? Just because Josh Hutcherson is in it?"

"Actually, yes."

Percy glared at his wife. "You can't possibly mean that when you've got thiiis." he pointed to himself.

She smirked. "What, you think I'd be happy to have that?"

She got up to put in the movie, but Percy said, "Jennifer Lawrence appears in more scenes than Josh Hutcherson! I'll just watch her!"

Annabeth stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to glare at him. "Well then! I'll just watch...Bel Ami, with Robert Pattinson!"

Percy got up and moved towards the racks of movies. "No! I'm looking for a Jessica Alba movie!"

"Well, I want to see Channing Tatum shirtless, so we're watching Dear John!"

"Well, I'll just look at Amanda Seyfried while you're looking at Channing Tatum!"

"How about Twilight? Then I can watch Robert Pattinson _and_Taylor Lautner!"

"Kristin Stewart is way hotter than any of them!"

"Why don't we just watch One Direction music videos?"

"...You did not just say that."

"Oh, but I did!"

"It's on."

They sat back down on the couch and turned to face each other.

"Sofia Vergara!"

"Channing Tatum!"

"You already said that!"

So? He has a twelve-pack!"

Percy ripped his shirt off. "_I _have a twelve pack!"

"Well, then...Zayn Malik!"

"Damn him...Erica Durance!"

"From the Butterfly Effect?"

"You got a problem with that?"

"Ashton Kutcher!"

"Natalie Portman!"

"JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!"

"ANNE HATHAWAY!"

"LOGAN LERMAN!"

"SCARLET JOHANSSON!"

"Mommy? Daddy?"

In shock, Percy and Annabeth stopped their arguing to look at their three year old. Percy quickly put his shirt back on and the two of them got up. "What is it, sweetie?" Annabeth asked.

Hailey looked up at them with her sparkling green eyes, "Daddy, are you going to leave me and mommy for an actor-girl?"

* * *

**A/N: I know that this one was pretty short, and I definitely could have gone on, but I thought that this was a better place to end it.**

** Anyways, REVIEW!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	8. First Kiss

**A/N: For any of you following this, don't freak out! I decided that the title and summary sucked, so I changed them both. Plus, since I was anyways not planning to do many pairings besides Percabeth, I've changed this to one-shots dedicated just to them.**

**For this one, imagine HoO never happened.**

**Hope you like this one!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO!**

* * *

**Annabeth POV**

The door flung open, and in the doorway stood my boyfriend of three months- the Seaweed Brain himself.

He was currently yelling at his mom. "Annabeth's here, mom! And tell the school that it wasn't my friggin' fault that the whole goddam detention room burned down while I was in it! Tell them it was all the dracenae-"

I rolled my eyes and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. "Are you going to invite me in, or am I going to be sleeping out here for all of Christmas break?"

That shut Percy up. Touching his cheek where I kissed him, he stepped aside and grinned playfully at me. "Wise Girl!" he yelled, tackling me with a hug as soon as I entered the Jackson's apartment and closed the door.

I'll admit, it felt good to have someone care about me as much as Percy did. For the first dozen years of my life, I had no one, and anyone I did have was gone after a short while.

At first, I was happy with my dad caring for me. Then he married my stepmom, and he turned his back on me. When I found Thalia and Luke, they cared for me, but Thalia soon became a tree, and Luke soon betrayed us all.

When Percy came into my life though- everything started to change. I found a second family with the Jackson's, Thalia came back, my stepmom changed her ways- Percy could be thought of as the beginning of everything good that had ever happened to me.

Anyways, I was thinking about this for some reason while we were making out at the doorway. We pulled apart, and Percy grinned at me with the sparkle and the look in his eyes that I knew was only reserved for me. "Come on! I'll show you to your room!" And with the enthusiasm of a five year-old (and the mental capacity, too) he grabbed all of my bags and bounded down the hall.

He threw open the door next to his room and proudly gestured to it. "Ta-da!"

It was just a plain room- white walls, a regular bed, a bookshelf. But if you looked closely, not a single book in the fully stocked bookshelf had nothing to do with anything that had nothing to do with architecture (try saying that one five times fast). There were pictures strategically scattered on the bedside table and the walls that showed Percy and I- even a desk in one corner next to the window, and wooden sign hanging above it that said, "BOOKWORM."

I grinned and gave Percy another kiss on the cheek as he explained, "This is your room for every time you stay with us." He bounded over to the bookworm sign. "Do you like it? I made it myself!"

I rolled my eyes again. "Bookworm?"

"You're a child of Athena."

Sally's head suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Annabeth!" she said happily.

Sally was one of those people who could smile and laugh and make everyone around her feel good about themselves, and when she grinned at me, it warmed me up from head to toe. "Hi, Ms. Jackson!"

When she looked at me sternly, I quickly caught myself. "Uh, Sally."

She turned her stern look to Percy. "You stole Annabeth so quickly," she scolded, "I didn't even get to welcome her properly before I have to leave to pick up Paul from Grand Central!"

Percy shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry, mom."

Sally groaned and turned to me. "I swear," she said, "If I had a buck for every time he called me from school and said, 'Mom, I need you to come and pick me up from school because a random monster hell bent on sucking out my soul...'"

I stifled a laugh. "He's a child of Poseidon. They aren't the most-"

Percy glared at both of us, "Well, you- you're such a, a-"

Sally and I exchanged a look that clearly said, _Boys!_ as Percy huffed indignantly.

Sally addressed the both of us. "I'm running late, and I have to pick Paul up from Grand Central. It'll take about an hour." She wagged her finger at Percy. "No forcing Annabeth into any funny business while I'm away."

I don't know who's face was redder- Percy's or mine.

When Sally left, I immediately jumped on Percy, knocking the both of us onto my bed, and starting kissing him furiously.

When we pulled away to catch our breath, he raised an eyebrow at me. "Wow. You've changed."

I raised an eyebrow back. "You don't like it?" I started to get off him, "Because I could-"

His eyes widened and he pulled me back, "No! I- I like the new Annabeth."

When we pulled away to catch our breath for the second time, I sighed contentedly, "It's really cool to know that I'm the only girl you've ever kissed."

Percy's reaction was definitely not what I was expecting.

He looked so startled that he fell off of me, landing on the floor. "I...you..." he wheezed, "Prius...Beckendorf...ship...dontkillme..."

I sighed and looked down at him. "She kissed you, didn't she?"

He nodded furiously and then shot to his feet, heading out the door. I watched the idiot I called my boyfriend zoom into his room and slam the door shut behind him.

I rolled my eyes for the third time in the past five minutes and went over to his room. When I got to the door, I leaned my ear against it to listen.

Percy seemed to have Iris-Messaged someone. "You!" he sputtered angrily, "You-you-you and your-you and your stupid lips!"

"Me and my stupid lips," repeated a voice I'd come to be friends with, "It's a wonder how Annabeth can put up with your idiotic ways."

I held a hand over my mouth to prevent laughter, imagining Percy glaring at Rachel. "Not funny," he squeaked, sounding truly afraid, "Oh, man, Annabeth's going to go on the warpath! She never thinks when she's mad!"

"You know," said Rachel, "She probably wouldn't have been mad until you said that she doesn't think. That can be very insulting to a daughter of Athena. Now she's going to rip your limbs off and feed them to Echidna."

No," said Percy dismissively, "She won't know that. BUT SHE DOES KNOW THAT WE KISSED!"

"No, she knows you said she doesn't think."

"What? How, are you predicting that soon she'll-"

"She's standing right outside the door, which, by the way, you forgot to lock."

"MOTHER OF POSEIDON!"

I decided it was time for my grand entrance. I opened the door and walked over to the Iris-Message. "Hi, Rach."

Rachel beamed, "Annabeth! How's it going!"

I looked over at Percy and said, "This one's acting overly paranoid." I looked back at Rachel.

Percy stumbled backwards, clutching his face, muttering a string of profanities that could loosely be interpreted as, "...your...stupid...blonde...ponytail...smack me in the...face!"

I rolled my eyes (again) as Rachel said, "Annabeth, would you do me a favor and _not_ murder-"

Percy pointed to Rachel. "SHE'S THE PERP! SHE KISSED ME, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!"

Rachel and I exchanged a look. "On second thoughts," she said, "Feel free to do whatever you want." She looked at Percy, "That's for throwing me under the bus."

I looked at Percy and sighed, "Rachel, can I talk to Percy alone?"

"You mean...'talk'?"

"Yes."

"Sure. See you at camp!"

She swiped her hand through the Iris-Message and I turned to face Percy. "I'm not mad at you, Seaweed Brain."

He stopped cowering under his bed and peeked out one eye. "What?"

"I said I'm not mad at you."

"Why?"

"You want me to be mad at you?"

"No, just...why?"

"Because it was a long time ago," I said, "What's done is- why are you looking at me like that?"

He swallowed. "I don't know another way to sugarcoat this...it was before the Princess Andromeda mission, when I left camp."

My whole viewpoint on this changed. "So," I said, "Instead of spending your potential last moments alive with me...you spent them...KISSING RACHEL?"

He whimpered, "I-she kissed me, not the-"

I brought out my knife, fire in my eyes. I looked down at his cowering form under the bed. "Prepare to die."

* * *

_Sleep on me, my pillow is where your head'll lie,_

_Permanently, bitch, It's beddy-bye,_

_This world is my Easter egg, yeah,_

_PREPARE TO DIE!_

* * *

**A/N: Again, I had to include Eminem. The song is "Drop the World" by Lil' Wayne and Eminem.**

**How did you like that? I've always wanted to do a one-shot on what would happen if Annabeth found out that Rachel kissed Percy.**

**REVIEW!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	9. Drunk

**A/N: For some reason, I've always enjoyed writing characters when they're drunk...there's a lot of things I can make them do.**

***cue evil laughter***

**Anyways, here's the next chapter! I've also decided that there is going to be an end to this story, maybe when I get to fifty one-shots.**

**REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

**Percy POV**

I stared at Nico like he had three heads (and believe me, I know what that looks like). "You can't be serious."

He grinned evilly. "Oh, but I _am_."

I groaned and muted the Knicks game, turning to face Nico on the couch. "Nico- you gotta realize something. Just because you and Thalia are _finally_ old enough to get so hammered you can't see straight- that doesn't mean you should!"

"Yeah it does!"

"You guys are twenty-one, and Annabeth and I are only twenty-three! We don't have to do it!"

"Yeah, we do!"

"No, actually we don't. Remember what happened the last time I got that drunk?"

"You were in Pasadena. And Fox News nicknamed it 'Project X'."

I nodded. "Exactly. You want that to happen again?"

"Just cuz it happened once doesn't mean it'll happen again!"

"Random people were screwing each other in the hallway of the poor kid's house!"

"Were you one of them?"

"I'd...rather not say."

"Look," he said, "You really need to live a little! Do some things that you're probably going to regret once in a while!"

For a while, I didn't say anything. Just watched the Knicks get trounced by the _freaking Astros_. Who the hell gets beaten by the _freakin Astros_?

I turned to Nico. "Don't think I'm agreeing to this for any reason other than the fact that I can't stand to see the Knicks lose..."

* * *

I sighed as the door to Thalia and Nico's shared apartment swung open slowly.

"This is a really bad idea..." I said to Annabeth, sitting in the shotgun seat.

She smirked and leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. "Come on, Seaweed Brain! What could possibly go wrong?"

"You said that in Pasadena," I reminded her.

She frowned. "I thought we agreed to never mention that again?"

"Hey, peeps!" My annoying half-cousin (both of them) slid into the backseats of the car.

I grinned at Thalia in the rearview mirror. "Hey, Thals!" I said, having not seen her for a few months, "Turn into any good trees lately?"

She scowled at me. "If your balls were the only things you had that distinguished you as a dude, I'd chop them off for-"

Nico slapped his hand over her mouth, noting a mom walking with her two toddlers down the street next to him. "Let's keep it G-rated, shall we?"

I smirked at them in the rearview mirror as I drove off to the bar. "Nothing that's going to happen after now is going to be even remotely close to G-rated, guys."

* * *

It turns out that I was right.

The four of us had a little drinking competition to start things off- and by little, I mean none of us had less than seventeen shots.

Two hours after we got to the bar, the four of us were sitting on the stools, leaning against the bar, all hope of having intelligent brain activity for the next few hours gone.

Annabeth giggled, breath reeking of alcohol. "You know," she said, downing her twenty-first shot, "My cousin, Johnny Depp- he can eat more sunglasses than you can. I saw it on Phineas and Ferb once."

Thalia leaned over and said to Annabeth, "I bet I can dance longer than you can."

Annabeh smirked and drank the last few sips of her drink, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "You're on."

They then proceeded to rip off their shirts, revealing...extremely _revealing_ tank-tops. Staggering and giggling, they climbed on top of the bar counter and proceeded to strip dance in front of everyone.

If I was sober, I probably would have dragged Annabeth off the bar and beat up all the guys who were perving on her. But in my drunken stupor, all I cared about was that, I, too, was perving on Annabeth.

The other guys at the bar loved the show so much, in fact, that one guy bought drinks for everyone else in the bar (he'd regret that the next morning), which didn't really help the current situation everyone was in.

For the next few hours- I didn't remember anything. I had a vague recollection of Nico hitting some guy with a golf club, me making out with some girl who _wasn't_ Annabeth, and the bartender giving up on trying to control us, and following the motto, _If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!_

I started remembering only from the time when the bar ran out of drinks, about 2AM and people started staggering away in twos and threes, going to god-knows-where. The four of us, car forgotten, walked down 5th Avenue (more like staggered and tripped), arms around each other.

Annabeth turned to me and said, "Just like- hic- like Pasadena all- hic- over again!"

I turned to her, "You and I- hic- remember Pasadena very- hic- differently."

"Hey, guys!" said Thalia, "Let's sing a song so we don't get bored on the walk back!"

"Yeah!" said Nico, "Let's sing... Help by the Beatles!"

I started, "All the other kids, with the..."

Annabeth continued, "Way I bring Dre in there with me and..."

Thalia picked it up from there, "Find out who I aaammmmmm, and that's..."

Nico sang, "Not afraid, not afraid..."

And then, somehow we all knew what the last line would be, and we all sang it together:

"BECAUSE I'M...PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE!"

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was...weirder than I had originally planned.**

**If you care, the song Percy sang was "Pumped up Kicks" by Foster the People, Annabeth sang "Patiently Waiting" by Eminem and 50 Cent, Thalia sang "I won't give up" by Jason Mraz, Nico sang "Not Afraid" by Eminem, and they all sang "Public enemy number one" by...someone, I don't know. I think Ice Cube.**

**REVIEW!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	10. Exceptional

**A/N: So this is an idea for one of the longer one shots I've written, that came up while I was writing my story "Hell and Back Again". And for people who care, I'll probably post that by the end of this month, or the beginning of October. And for all the people who've been reading 21 Jump Street and Dear Percy, I'll update those in the next day or two.**

**Going back to this chapter, I honestly have no idea why it came to me as I was writing Hell and Back Again, but in the story, Percy and Annabeth are married, so...Percy would've had to propose to Annabeth, right? **

**Anyways, REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

Annabeth Chase was an exceptional girlfriend, as Percy Jackson had told her on numerous occasions.

* * *

_A good girlfriend would quietly sit and watch as her boyfriend plays video games. An exceptional girlfriend..._

"...so the objective is to decapitate the zombies?"

"Well, essentially."

"Oh. I guess that makes-"

"IF YOU WANT TO FRIGGIN DIE!"

Annabeth stared at her boyfriend, who, she observed, was pressing buttons and flicking joysticks on his PS3 controller faster than humanly possible.

She inwardly groaned. When Percy had invited her over to "play video games", she had automatically assumed that meant "make out", since his parents were conveniently not at home.

But noooooooo! He had to be like every other friggin _guy_ in America, going around, wasting his time playing-

Then Annabeth stopped herself.

Did she not notice how Percy's- and for that matter, everybody else's- eyes glazed over when she was talking about architecture? Did she not notice how she rambled on about the importance of schoolwork to Percy, even though he hated the stuff and wished it would go rot in Tartarus? Percy put up with all of that, she scolded herself, and the least she could do would be to play a few video games.

"...and if you don't have time to aim down your sights and shoot," Percy was saying, "you just click the joystick-" he did, "-and WHAM! You knife the zombie in the chest! Just like that!"

Annabeth sat down beside her boyfriend, actually giving a shit about boyish things for once. With genuine curiosity and willingness-to-learn, she said, "Can- do you think you can explain to me again how to play?"

Percy's eyes lit up, and he proceeded to take the next fifteen minutes to give her the rundown on Black Ops- and she actually listened. Instead of zoning out, thinking of a Frank Lloyd Wright or math homework, she actually learned how to shoot, learned how to throw a grenade, learned how to knife.

After his explaining time was done, he looked over at Annabeth and said, "Do you want to try?"

She shook her head and grinned, laying her head on his shoulder. "I'd like to see how you do it first."

She laid the flattery on thick, but Percy ate it right up, and started zombie mode.

Annabeth watched as he built up the wooden barriers and chuckled at his stupidity.

"Not going to work..." she said to herself, "...zombies are coming from different directions. He's going to get ambushed." And while Annabeth wasn't a sore loser, there was one thing she took great pains to avoid- losing.

So, she did what she figured was the quickest way to get the remote from Percy so that she could win the game the way pros do. She climbed in his lap, turned so she was facing him, and kissed him.

Percy seemed to lose all intelligent brain function, and melted into the kiss. But, quick as lightning, Annabeth grabbed the controller from his hands and got off his lap, turning to face the TV.

Percy's brow furrowed, not because of the kiss she broke off but because of the fact that Annabeth Chase was playing a video game. "What are you-"

She turned around and grinned at him, shooting down seven zombies- with a pistol. In six seconds. While not aiming down her sights. Or even looking at the freaking screen.

Wide eyed, Percy stared at the TV. "How the f-"

"Let me show you how it's done."

"You- you-" Percy had a look of anger on his face, which suddenly morphed into a look of admiration. "You're _exceptional_!"

"Glad you finally learned how to use a four-syllable word."

* * *

_A good girlfriend would drag her boyfriend away from an unreasonable fight. An exceptional girlfriend..._

Percy glared at Mark. "Go fuck yourself!"

Mark laughed. "We all know it's true, Jackson!"

"Dude, you just freaking insulted my girlfriend, you're lucky I don't just knock you into the middle of next week!"

By this time, a crowd had started to form around the two boys, who were staring each other down in the basketball court. Among the crowd was Annabeth, who realized (after noting how hot Percy looked when he was pissed) that Percy could seriously hurt Mark when he got mad, and he got mad really easily. And even if Mark was a dumbass, he still didn't deserve anything.

However, all of those kinds of thoughts vanished when she heard Marks' next statement. "Your girlfriend is just a dumb blonde! A good-for-nothing, slutty, dumb blonde!"

Eyes flaming red with anger, she dropped her backpack on the asphalt and walked towards the two boys. The other kids in the crowd wisely stepped out of her way, therefore avoiding her wrath. They liked to live.

She made her way to the center of the fight, where Percy had his arm reared back, fire blazing in his eye sockets. With lightning speed, his arm sped forward, and Mark's eyes widened in surprise, as he knew there was nothing he could do to stop a punch that fast.

But, with even more lightning speed (and tremendous strength), Annabeth thrust her arm out and caught Percy's palm inches from Mark's...manliness. She pushed against his hand as she caught it, transferring all the momentum into Percy's wrist and causing him to grunt with the pain. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "I got this."

She walked over to Mark, who was back to his usual, cocky and arrogant self. "Well, well," he said, "What have we here? A dumb-"

Annabeth punched him across the face, causing him to smash his nose into the hard asphalt of the basketball court, right in the center of the free throw line. "That takes care of good-for-nothing," she said, "Because you obviously have to be good at something to be able to do that."

Mark rose unsteadily to his feet, cradling his cheek, shocked. Girls usually fell at his feet, begging him to date them! He'd never been slapped by one before, and especially not a dumb blonde, though he secretly thought Annabeth was hot, and insulting her was part of his plan to make her dump Percy and date him. _Go on with the plan_, he thought to himself. "You- you little-"

Annabeth smirked and looked back at Percy. "As for the dumb blonde thing, which I think is extremely offensive- I'm having a deja vu moment to five years ago, Seaweed Brain."

A look of realization crossed Percy's face. "On my mark."

"Hell no. On my mark."

She looked back at Mark. "Simple physics. Force times the trajectory angle _of_ the force...I think you're gonna land about five or six feet _thataway_." she pointed in the direction of the baseline. "What do you think, Percy?"

"He's too fat. Probably a yard, maybe a yard-and-a-half."

"Yeah, I thought that, too. But I think I'll use my foot, makes them go farther, you know?"

Mark's eyes widened (again), but he could do nothing as Annabeth finished what Percy started. With a resounding _crunch!_ that rang through the whole basketball court, Mark yelped in pain and covered the front of his pants as he went flying and landed directly on the baseline, whimpering, and probably unable to have kids for the rest of his life.

As the final bell rang, Annabeth walked over to Percy. She called over her shoulder to Mark as the crowds dispersed. "Oh, you want me to take care of slutty?" she pointed over to the tree by the hoop, and Mark's eyes widened (for the third time) as he saw his girlfriend, Lizzy, making out with the school's number one playboy against the tree. And it definitely loked like they'd been there for a while.

She went over to Percy, and they started walking back home together. Percy looked at his girlfriend and attacked her with kisses, causing her to flush bright red. "Annabeth-" he kissed her neck, "Chase-," he trailed kisses along her jawbone, "you- are- entirely- _freaking_- amazing- and- the- best- girlf-"

Annabeth pushed Percy away, still bright red with embarrassment. "Percy!" she said, "People are staring!"

* * *

_A good girlfriend would reprimand her boyfriend for watching inappropriate movies. An exceptional girlfriend..._

"Get your...MOTHERFUCKING ASSES UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Percy laughed along at with Ice Cube on 21 Jump Street, oblivious to the fact that it was rated R and he wasn't old enough to watch it yet. But, he reasoned, he was a teenager in the twenty-first century. What kind of twenty-first century teenager would he be if he didn't...fucking...curse in every fucking other fucking word...fuck?

"Hey, STOP FUCKING WITH KOREAN JESUS! HE DON'T GOT TIME FOR YOUR PROBLEMS! HE'S BUSY! WITH KOREAN SH-"

"Really?"

Percy paused the movie and whirled around in his couch, to find his girlfriend leaning against the door with her arms crossed, smirking with amusement. "Annabeth!" he said, choosing to ignore how hot she looked like that and focusing instead on trying not to die.

She sighed and uncrossed her arms, sitting down on the couch next to him. "You know, that movie's rated R. And your mom doesn't let you watch R-rated movies. And I have a reputation as a snitch..."

Percy got down on his knees. "Please!" he said, "I'm begging you! Don't tell my mom! I'll do anything!"

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

Percy nodded. "Yes! Uh- Your Highness."

Annabeth giggled, enjoying the the fact that she had her boyfriend in the palm of her hand. "Will you...dress up in a Ducky Momo outfit and run around Times Square singing "Jizz in my Pants"?"

"Yes!"

"Will you...be my personal slave for all of eternity?"

"We're not immortal."

"In Elysium."

"Yes!"

"Will you... let me watch 21 Jump Street with you?"

"Ye- wait, what?"

Annabeth grabbed his arm and hoisted him up onto the couch. "Well," she shrugged, "I finally memorized all the lines the fifth time I watched it. The gym teacher is the supplier, by the way, and he gets his dick shot off in the end by Schmidt."

Percy stared at her as she turned on the TV and resumed the movie. "-IT!"

Annabeth looked back at him. "Are you perving on me?"

He blinked his eyes and said, "You- you watched this movie?"

She nodded. "This'll be my sixth time."

Ignoring the terrible "that's what she said", Percy, grinning, yawned and put his arm around Annabeth's shoulders. Annabeth ignored the cheesiness of the situation and snuggled into Percy's lap, laughing along with him at the bathroom scene, the party, and the final scene where he gets his dick shot off.

At then end, Percy turned off the TV and looked at Annabeth. "That post-credits scene was...terrifying."

She shrugged. "Not that it wouldn't be fun."

Percy groaned and said, "You, Annabeth Chase, are entirely _freaking_ exceptional."

* * *

The three flashbacks (which took barely a second in Annabeth's mind) stopped, and she looked at Percy, who was down on one knee in front of her. "You've been an exceptional girlfriend," he was saying, "And now- I want you to be something more."

He looked up at her, both of their eyes sparkling with happiness. "When I was in Special Ops," he said, "They put me in an Afghan Prison where I could only see a patch of blue sky... but that was nothing compared to what I see when I look at you."

Annabeth giggled. "Romance is dead and you killed it. Really? Homer Simpson?"

He shrugged. "I needed something cheesy yesterday, and I was watching the Simpsons, so..."

"You rely on Homer Simpson for your cheesiness?"

Percy groaned and, much to Annabeth's disappointment, stood up. He tossed a beautiful golden ring at her and walked away, calling over his shoulder, "We gonna do this or what?"

Stunned, Annabeth stood there for a second, but then raced after him and leaped onto his back, climbing around him and falling into his arms. She leaned down and kissed him, slipping the ring onto her finger.

"Yes!"

* * *

**A/N: Phew! That was longer than I thought?**

**Also, in case you didn't catch it before, there will be a definite end to this story. I don't know when, but I will eventually stop this. Just wanted to let you know. **

**Anyways, REVIEW!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	11. Shopping part 2

**A/N: I know it says that this is "part two" of the first chapter of this story- it isn't. You don't need to have read that to get this, it just has the same overall topic, so I figured I'd give it the same name.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

"Oh, no."

"Come on! Please?"

"Well…let me think about it…NO."

"It'll be fun!"

"Nope. Not a chance."

"Will you do it for me?"

"Annabeth, I love you to death, but there is absolutely _no way_ I am spending a perfectly good day shopping with you."

"Excuse me?"

"Um, emphasis on the "shopping" part. Not the "with you" part."

"I thought so. But we can get ice cream afterwards!"

Percy glared at his fiancee. "That might have worked when we were seventeen, but it sure as hell won't work now!"

Annabeth threw her hands up in frustration. "You can't ask me to marry you if you aren't willing to go shopping!"

"It's Sunday!"

"So..."

"The day football comes on TV."

"So?"

"This is week one. Opening day."

"SO?"

It was Percy's turn to throw up his hands in frustration. "THE PACKERS ARE PLAYING THE 49ERS, ITS THE FRIGGIN GAME OF THE WEEK!"

"When does it start?"

"Four o' clock."

Annabeth looked at the clock hanging above the door and rolled her eyes. "That's in four hours. Now come on!" she grabbed him by the arm, tossed a pair of shoes at him, and dragged him out the door before he could protest, throwing him in the car and closing and locking the door.

All in nine seconds.

As Annabeth started up the car, Percy crossed his arms and glared at her. "That was shorter than last time. I didn't even get the time to take off my shirt and wow you with my awesome good looks so that you'd lose all brain function and I'd be able to run away."

"That was my Plan B."

Percy's glare got stronger. "Anna- beeeeth," he whined, "I'm going to miss all of the one o' clock games!"

"Grow a pair and suck it up," was her reply as they pulled in to the supermarket.

Percy muttered stuff about how women don't understand the importance of the early afternoon football games as Annabeth dragged him into the store and grabbed a cart.

She reached into her pocket and handed Percy a slip of paper, and, with his dyslexia, it took him a few moments to realize it was a shopping list.

"What's the first item on the list?" Annabeth asked as they approached the fresh produce section.

Percy muttered a string of profanities under his breath and managed to make out, "Bam... bon... bananas!"

Annabeth giggled as she picked up two bunches and threw them in the cart. "I didn't know there was a such thing as bam-bon-bananas," she said.

Percy gave her his trademark grin. "Bam-bon-bananas."

"Bam-bon-bananas."

They both started belting out "bam-bon-bananas" to the tune of Call Me Maybe as they walked down the aisles, throwing fruits and vegetables into the cart as they went along, earning a few strange looks from kids, amused looks from other teenagers and young adults, and suppressed smiles from the older customers.

"Baaaaaam-bon-bananaaaas," Percy said as he picked up a package of Pop-Tarts in the snack aisle.

Annabeth grinned and threw in four packs of powdered jello mix, "Bam bon-banaaaaaaaanas!"

"Bam-bon-bananas!" said Percy, pushing the cart down the aisle so Annabeth could pick up whatever she needed.

"SO CALL ME MAYBE!"

They collapsed into a fit of giggles as Annabeth turned the cart into the "baking needs aisle." A few of the more humor-appreciating customers clapped and whistled, and while Annabeth tucked her head down to hide her red face, Percy took a few bows and blew kisses to the crowd (unknowingly and obliviously making a few other teenage girls blush and look down at their shoes).

Percy grinned at his wife (he still loved saying that) and said, "We should do that kind of thing more often?"

"Annoy people?"

"Flash mob."

Annabeth tried hard to keep her laughter to herself as she picked up a few bags of flour and sugar. "Anything else on our list that we haven't gotten yet?"

Percy's brow furrowed as they moved on to the next aisle. He slowly made out each letter of the word as Annabeth glanced up and saw the wooden sign hanging above the aisle they were in.

"Household cleaning supplies," they said simultaneously.

"What's first on the list?" asked Annabeth.

This time, Percy's eyebrows scrunched together in an _extremely_ cute way for Annabeth, and she found herself grinning and leaning on the cart, chin on her hand, watching her fiancee try to figure out the next item on her shopping list.

The mood was ruined, however, by a couple of girls who were also swooning over Percy. She shot them a glare as if to say, _Back off! He's my eye candy!_ As Percy jumped up. "I got it!" he exclaimed, "There's only one thing on the list!"

Then, seemingly louder than usual, he said, "DUREX!"

There was complete silence in the store as all the customers turned to stare at Percy, who was slowly going red. Some parents who were there with younger kids covered their toddler's ears, the teenage girls admiring Annabeth's eye candy backed away, envying Annabeth, and everyone else was just smiling knowingly at the two of us.

"I- I didn't, I mean..." Percy trailed off, looking back at her, as the other shoppers went back to their shopping, "It just- my ADHD just made it come out, it just popped out..."

Annabeth grinned, not embarrassed for some reason as she picked up a bottle of Purex (laundry detergent) and walked over to the checkout counter.

Percy trailed behind her and watched as she pulled out a package from those racks by that sliding conveyor belt, the name "Durex" printed on them.

"Hmmm..." Annabeth said, "...not bad." she looked back at him, "You want to try it out?"

His legs gave way and he collapsed on the floor, twitching uncontrollably, "WHAT THE F-"

Annabeth bent down and slammed a hand over his mouth, smiling apologetically to the parents with young children, as the lady at the counter started loading their groceries.

She gave her Percy's MasterCard and helped Percy up. He hissed in her ear, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes and kissed him on the cheek. "Like you don't know."

"You're- you're talking about _that_!"

"Seaweed Brain- we're twenty-six years old, I think we can talk about s-"

"Don't say it!"

She rolled her eyes again. "Alright, _that_. And you can't tell me you don't want to."

Percy rubbed the back of his neck in that cute, nervous way as the cheerful old lady at the counter started to scan their items. "I- it's not that I don't want to, it's that...I...you- I love you too much to-"

She silenced him by putting a finger on his lips. "I'm a big girl now, you Kelp Head. I'll be fine."

Percy grinned and then leaned in to kiss her, but Annabeth ducked away and ran to the cart, throwing a pack of Skittles onto the moving conveyor belt. "That can wait for later..."

Percy's face turned red again, but Annabeth knew (and was quite arrogant to know) that she had just gotten Percy over- something, she didn't know. Not a fear, just a..misconception. In any case, she'd helped him, and that was enough. Nothing could ruin it now! Annabeth was on top of-

"Have fun, dearies!" said the old lady, wearing a huge grin on her face, as she scanned the box of Durex and handed us our bags.

FWOCK!

* * *

**A/N: Hehe. That was pretty fun for me to write, and I hope the little bits of humor I put in there didn't sound too...forced.**

**For anyone who's wondering, Durex is... a brand of "protection." And if you still don't know what that is, you are obviously too young for this fic, which is rated T.**

**If anyone is wondering how I know about Durex (I'm still a virgin), it's because there's this insanely funny car talk show called "Top Gear", and in one of the specials they had to get out of the Amazon desert using specific cars, and (as a joke, of course, since the three hosts are all guys), the producers of the show packed Durex in their emergency supply kit. Along with Tampax.**

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Other things from this chapter- I just _had_ to include Skittles and football (GO GIANTS!) in this story, and the last word (fwock) is a word my friend made up so that we can curse without actually cursing. And, if you're interested, the idea for this story came from when that same friend of mine was in French class and just shouted the French word "POUSSEZ!" which means "to shoot", but it sounded like...yeah...**

**So when I got home, I decided to turn this into a fic about how Percy shouts random embarrassing things. Hope it didn't sound too forced!**

**REVIEW****!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	12. Bored

**A/N: This is just something that I thought would be cute and fluffy to write- it just came to me.**

**By the way, I'm watching football as I'm writing this. GO JETS! GO LIONS! GO TEXANS! They all won, so I'm happy! :D**

**Anyways, here's the chapter! REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

Annabeth was bored.

Usually, this didn't happen to her, because she was a demigod, and demigods lead relatively non-boring lives. For example, she and her boyfriend, Percy Jackson (who also happened to be the savior of Olympus) were attacked by a hellhound on their way to school, which they had to defeat.

Boredom was even more rare if Annabeth happened to be in school at the time, because she, like all children of Athena, absolutely adored school. It was like a second temple to their mother, as important to them as the Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty, so to speak. For them, at least.

Back to the current problem at hand.

Boredom.

She and Percy were unfortunately not just going to school; Chiron had sent them to Mississippi to pick up a daughter of Hephaestus. In regular school back in San Francisco, she was in all advanced courses, but she couldn't do that here, because it would be "using her inherited godly powers", thus strengthening her scent, making her more vulnerable to monsters.

She was more than capable of handling herself against whatever nasties were out there (she was the heroine of Olympus, after all), but the real problem was that the mortals could get hurt. And, much as she despised some of the annoying guys who tried to hit on her- that would be bad.

So, she was put in all regular classes, and there she was, her first class of the day. Bored out of her mind.

Desperate for _some_ kind of excitement in the day, she hid behind her Algebra ll textbook and rattled off a quick text to Percy, who was in Drama.

_hey, SB._

To her knowledge, Percy didn't care if a monster attacked the school and harmed the mortals- the bad way he handled his ADHD (he handles his ADHD?) would make him that way, and she knew he wouldn't have any qualms about endangering himself.

_WTF?_

Annabeth rolled her eyes.

_SB=Seaweed Brain._

_Oh..._

Annabeth giggled, causing her teacher to glance over at her. Their class was supposed to be working quietly on pages 75 to 78, so she quickly ducked her head back down and did three more problems.

_Uggh..._

_What, WG?_

_Math sucks._

_I know._

_No, it's boring._

_WTF?_

_Easy._

_WTF?!_

_Athena child._

_Oh..._

Annabeth stifled another giggle and sent a reply.

_You bored?_

_Nope. I don't get Drama._

_Well, I'm bored._

Percy didn't reply for a while, so Annabeth sighed and opened up the Nook app on her phone. She was currently re-reading the Harry Potter series, and was on the Sorcerer's Stone at the moment.

_Mine and Percy's life would make a better story_, she grumbled to herself as she read, quickly engrossing herself in the wizarding world of Harry Potter. _Besides, any book character with jet-black hair and green eyes is a Percy Jackson wannabee._

However, their quiet work time was soon interrupted by a visitor barging in through the door. Annabeth looked up and gasped.

It was Percy.

She glared at him, sending him a telepathic message. _WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!_

Percy grinned back at her. _I'll kiss you if you shut up._

Like all other girls in existence, Annabeth's heartbeat sped up when he smiled at her and she sat back in her chair. _Oh. Okay._

Percy put on a show of gasping for breath, grabbing onto the doorframe for support.

Annabeth's teacher stood up and gazed sternly at him. "What are you doing?"

Percy sucked in a lungful of air and looked at Annabeth (knowing she was reading Harry Potter) and said, in a terrible British accent, "Troll in the dungeon! Just wanted you to know!"

And then he collapsed on the floor, seemingly out cold.

The teacher groaned and said, "Someone take this idiot to the principal's office."

Apparently, the chance to have intimate contact (erase your mind of all dirty thoughts) with the _gorgeous_ boy, who was on his first day of school was too much for the girls in Annabeth's math class to handle (and the fact that his shirt was riding up on his stomach, revealing a good amount of his chest didn't help), so every single one of them raised their hands and squealed. "OOOH! PICK ME!"

The teacher was obviously stunned by the reception the "new kid" was getting, but Annabeth raised her hand. "I'll do it. He's my boyfriend."

Ignoring the incredulous and jealous stared she was getting, Annabeth dragged Percy out into the hallway (accidentally making his shirt ride up even more) and set him against a locker outside the math room.

Percy opened his eyes and grinned. "How was that?"

Annabeth reared her hand back and slapped him across the face. "What the hell was that?" she hissed.

Percy rubbed his cheek. "You said you were bored."

Annabeth sighed with exasperation but couldn't hold back her grin as she kissed him on the cheek and hoisted him to his feet. "You stupid Seaweed Brain."

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I know, it was short, and it was random. But I thought it was sweet, so reviews would be nice.**

**I know that the "daughter of Hephaestus" problem wasn't solved, and I can write a part two for this in which they rescue her and bring her back to camp, but I think this is sweet on it's own. You can just imagine that they got her to camp safely. Review or PM if you want me to make a part 2 or not!**

**REVIEW!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	13. I Can't

**A/N: Regards to the last chapter- thanks for the great reviews, guys! Six people requested a part two by review or PM, and six requested me to leave it (all by PM), so ultimately, I had the deciding vote, and I elected to leave it as it is. Percy and Annabeth are the two most powerful demigods, and it shouldn't be any trouble to get a daughter of Hephaestus back to camp.**

**In other news- my mom changed my computer password to add to the shit that's going down in my life, so updates will come even less frequently. I'll be focusing more on stories like this, and less on 21 Jump Street and Dear Percy, which are far from finished.  
**

**Back to this chapter- there are three things that compelled me to write this. One is that I'm depressed because it's monday. The second is that the inspiration for this just popped into my mind. And the third is that, I haven't forgotten a review I got from Shurtugal Daughter of Artemis to make a sadder story, I never forget requests like that. So, here it is! Sad story up!  
**

**By the way, the characters are way OOC, and it's an AU. Just to let you know.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

There were two of them.

Well, no. Actually, there were more, dozens more. But those were completely eliminated by the main two, and the ones that survived the first few days were smart enough to break it off. Because, you either live to work for them...or you don't live

One ruled the streets by day.

One ruled the streets by night.

Until they met.

* * *

Percy grinned as he looked out over the Bulldogs, all of them wearing their matching orange leather jackets, sleeves rolled up to the elbow, sporting pictures of ferocious bulldogs on the back. _This is what I live for,_ he thought, _the fight._

"Underwood, Rodriguez, di Angelo, Stoll, Castelllan, Beckendorf, and Solace."

Grover, Chris, Nico, Travis, Luke, Charles (though everyone called him Beckendorf) and Will nodded. "We're good."

Percy chuckled and shook his head. "I kinda feel like no one needs a fucking pep talk, guys, we annihilate every gang in Queens. So...just kill them. Kill 'em all, and we'll get drinks later."

He was met by cheers of approval, and he and his (small) eight-man gang set off in the Astoria, famed for being a not-so-great part of Queens, New York. That would be where the fight would take place.

They met in the middle of the street, outside the place known to be Nerf's mom's store in _A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints_. The other gang- they were so new, they didn't even have a fucking name- stood ten yards away from the Bulldogs upon arrival, twenty-four men strong. They were obviously scared of Percy's gang (as the Bulldogs ruled the streets by day), but what they lacked in balls they made up in hiding behind their gang mates.

Percy, being the leader of the bulldogs, stepped forwards to address the leader of the opposing gang. "Ready?"

The other leader nodded nervously, looking back to his guys for support. "As we'll ever be."

If the exchange seemed out of place- it wasn't. It was one of the rules of the gangs of New York. Because if there's one thing gang members respect- it's the rules of the trade.

There were a lot of them, to make a long story short. One of the big ones was- no guns. Absolutely none. No one new why it was a rule- but no one dared to break it. This introductory exchange was just one of the many rules.

Back to the fight- the two leaders stepped back to their respective gangs, and the Bulldogs pulled out knives- sixteen sharp, glistening, knives that glimmered in the afternoon sunlight. Two for each Bulldog, and Percy got ready to signal the charge.

But then, the newbies killed it by pulling out guns- twenty four of them, which caused the Bulldogs' tempers to flare. Little rule breaking sons of-

The other leader smirked at Percy. "Looks like the famous Bulldogs are-"

His sentence was cut short by Percy, quick as a flash, flicking his wrist at him. The knife spiraled end over end, and landed with a dull _thud!_ right in the center of the dude's chest. He went down hard, blood spurting from the wound.

The other gang hesitated, and then seven more were taken down by deadly projectiles. Percy looked back at his gang. "Let's go. I hate motherfuckers who bring guns to a knife fight, right?"

And the two gangs charged at one another.

Technically, it wasn't a fair fight, or even a real one. The challengers barely had time to cock their pistols before they were wrenched out of their hands by another hand, or even by a throwing knife. After mere seconds, all the guns were on the ground, and the other gang, stunned, just stood around. They didn't know what to do, they'd never been trained against an elite squad like the Bulldogs. Some tried to run, but were quickly mowed down by knives, and the street quickly became a bloody mess.

Percy slashed and threw his knife, feeling more alive than he ever had. This is what he lived for. Fighting. That's all his mom did, anyways- drink her soul out, and then beat him. So what did he do? Naturally, he passed the favor on to others, and soon became an expert at it. He'd been taught that his dad came, got drunk, screwed his mom, and then left, but he couldn't help but feel longing that he was still there. Like, if he was here...he'd be proud.

Percy didn't even look as he slashed across the arm of the last guy, as he went down, yelling in pain.

He turned around and grinned at his gang. "Well? Another gang busted! Next, we take down the Night Riders, guys, show 'em who's-"

Nico's eyes widened. "Look out!"

Beckendorf threw his last knife, and I heard it impale into someone behind me, but it was too late. I turned around, and I heard a loud _bang!_, and then a small metal projectile whizzed through the air, hitting the front of my jacket. _  
_

The pain didn't come for a few seconds, but in that time, I thought of how stupid I was- not checking to see if he actually was dead when I slashed his arm. Classic mistake. How stupid of-

The last thing I saw was more bullets peppering their way near my gang, and I knew that if they wanted to live, they had to turn the corner and get out of the last guy's sights. Save themselves by leaving me.

And that's what they did, not that I blamed them.

I fell as the first wave of pain hit, as everything started to go black.

* * *

Annabeth groaned and chucked her knife at the sleeping form on the bed of one of the rooms at headquarters. It's occupant, startled by the polished metal whizzing by her nose, yelped and leaped out of bed. "Fuck, Chase, what the hell?"

Annabeth retrieved her knife and glared at Thalia, tossing her the "Night Rider's" jacket. "You fight with us, you follow our rules, Thalia. Now get the hell downstairs before I make you."

Inside, Thalia was using a world of colorful language, all aimed at Annabeth, but she just gritted her teeth and said to the leader of the night gang. "Yeah."

Satisfied, Annabeth crossed her arms and smirked as Thalia made her way down the stairs, out to hassle any unlucky folk out on the street that night, along with the rest of her gang. Yes, Thalia was her best friend in the gang, and, yes, she was the only member that wasn't pretty damn scared of Annabeth. But that didn't mean that she- as leader- could just not follow her duties. There were rules to being in a gang, and even if it didn't seem like it, they still had to follow them.

Annabeth went downstairs and surveyed her girls. The Night Riders.

Technically speaking, it wasn't much of a gang. Her best friend, Thalia, plus Clarisse, Katie, Juniper, Silena, Rachel, and Cal. Including her, it made eight. Eight was small for a gang- but these were _the_ eight. The eight of the night. The eight that should not be messed with.

Annabeth had known all of the girls since they were kids- grown up, raised in Astoria, bad part of Queens, they'd learned to survive together, and it wasn't a half bad life for Annabeth. She had everything she needed.

Anyways, the Night Riders headed out for their "shift", so to speak, at midnight sharp. Because if there was one thing they feared, it was the unknown, the daytime warriors.

Annabeth had heard of them, had heard of how fierce they were- exactly like her gang, except they ruled they day. She knew that they were called the Bulldogs, and she knew that soon, it would come down to them against the Night Riders, and, from what she'd heard, she didn't want to have to place bets on a fight like that.

Shaking the pessimistic thoughts out of her head, she and her girls did their normal night shift- stealing food and booze, harassing people who were unlucky enough to be out on the streets at the late hour.

They got into two fights- the first one, Annabeth didn't even fight, just swiped some beer from a liquor store and had a drink with Thalia as the rest of the gang played Go Fish. The second fight, the leader called himself Chaos, his gang called themselves the Knights of Chaos, and they sucked even worse than the first gang.

Anyways, the Night Riders staggered back to base, satisfied with the mostly illegal night's work, as the earliest rays of sunlight streaked across the sky, and Annabeth ushered the rest of the girls into the building.

She checked her watch. Eh, about fifteen minutes before the daytime watch would take effect. She'd be good.

So, she ditched her black leather jacket with the skull logo on the back, and, after wrapping up her knives inside of it and stashing it behind a bush, she took a walk through Astoria, enjoying the crisp, cool, early morning air, because, though she had bad memories growing up in this place- they _were_ memories, and, more or less, it was a home. Might as well take a walk around the old place, right?

She turned left onto 25th street and was met with a horrifying but all-too-familiar sight. Some parts of the cobblestone street were swamped in a dark red liquid that she knew wasn't paint, probably from a daytime massacre involving their sunlight-loving counterparts. She'd seen it before- two gangs, fighting to the death, one completely annihilates the other, street covered in blood, yada yada. At around five in the morning, it was too early for cars or people to be going around- especially this part of town.

That's why she was surprised to see a lone figure, sitting in the middle of the street.

Her mother's (whom she'd never met) kindly genes took over her and she walked out into the middle of the street, intent on going to the dude- she could make out from the distance that it was a guy- and asking him what the hell he was doing in the Bulldog's territory in the bad part of Astoria?

When she approached him, she grabbed his shoulder (she found out that he was lying facedown, which was weird) and flipped him over. "Hey. What the f-"

Her blood ran cold, and there were three factors that contributed to that.

One: He was wearing an orange leather jacket with the word: BULLDOGS printed on it. Probably the leader (hence his, ahem, good looks), a.k.a _not good_.

Two: He was the source of the blood on the street, a bullet wound right sack dab in the middle of his stomach. Annabeth's guess was his gang massacred some other gang, but he was left behind as the others fled, saving themselves, or something like that. It happened sometimes.

Three: She recognized him, from her childhood years. Her old friend. Disappeared in sophomore year.

His name was Percy Jackson.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think? Yes, this does have darker themes and profanity, but it should be fine as a T rating. If you haven't guessed, it's a two-parter, and I'll try to post that as soon as possible.**

**By the way, the inspiration for this: I was watching HD Video Hour (basically it's a TV show on Palladia for people with nothing better to do then watch music videos of songs) and this one song came up, and the video was this, or similar to it. Does anyone know what that song is? I'd just like to know, just out of curiosity.**

**Anyways, REVIEW! More reviews means shorter update time! *wink* *wink***

**-epicsilverbullet**


	14. I Can't part 2

**A/N: Here's the long awaited sequel to the previous chapter!**

**If you didn't understand, the last chapter was an AU where Percy and Annabeth were both gang leaders. Kinda weird to think about, but...well, it is called fanfiction for a reason.**

**Anyways, did I mention anything about a contest? More on that at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO!**

* * *

Percy's eyes fluttered open, and, instinctively, his hand went to the knife in his pocket, but he immediately winced in pain.

Annabeth looked at him intently as he panted, a thin film of sweat covering his body. He sat up in bed and looked down at his body, heavily covered in blankets. "Where- where am I?"

Annabeth sighed and got up from her position in a chair beside his bed. She'd dragged him three blocks through the streets of Queens to her apartment, swiping medicine from drugstores along the way. She wasn't much of a doctor, but...she knew what to do about bullet wounds like these from friends. And experience.

Making sure her Night Rider's jacket wasn't visible, she moved over to look out of the window. "If the bullet was two inches higher, you would've died."

Ignoring the pain and the dizziness he was getting in his head (probably from the fever that accompanied bullet wounds) he swung out of bed, not noticing or caring that he was dressed only in boxers. He went over to stand beside Annabeth, who was blushing at the close proximity, despite her tough-girl attitude. "And you removed it yourself?"

"I know how to do a few things," was her vague reply.

They both looked out of the window for a while in comfortable silence before Percy spoke up. "Why didn't you just kill me? Or, better yet, let me die?"

Confused, Annabeth furrowed her brow. "What do you-"

Percy grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her against the wall, his breath coming in ragged gasps. In high school, Annabeth would've given anything to be in the position she was in. Now...

"How could I forget you, Annabeth? After you left me? Just like that?"

Annabeth gritted her teeth, biting back curses. "Don't say it like I'm the criminal, Percy."

"You are! I thought we- we had- we were..."

Annabeth shook herself out of Percy's grasp and sat on the bed, tossing him his clothes. "Put these on."

"What? Too sexy for you?"

"Put the damn clothes on before I put a knife through your heart."

Both Percy and Annabeth knew she could never do that, but he slipped on his jeans and shirt, before sitting next to Annabeth on her bed.

"You know..." he said after a while, "We're going to end up fighting. And only one of our groups..."

He said it.

Annabeth sighed and allowed her to lean her head on Percy's shoulder, something she hadn't done since she was seventeen. Since he left. "I know."

"Do you want to?"

She looked up at his worried face. "Things have changed," she began slowly, "and I don't think...we're not the same," she finished lamely.

He looked at her. "You didn't answer my question."

She sighed and got up. "First, explain to me why you left."

"I didn't leave! You did!"

Annabeth wheeled around and slapped him across the face. "Don't give me that shit," she said through clenched teeth, "Answer me!"

"I did!"

Another slap. Blood was now starting to flow from his face, but he still stared up at Annabeth with truth in his green eyes.

She softened upon seeing him bleeding, and sat down again. "Then what happened?"

He ignored the pain and said, "Why don't you tell me?"

She sighed. His arrogance had always been a distinguishing quality, even when they were dating. "The day after you left-" she saw his expression and hurriedly changed her words, "-we were split apart...the gangs. They started."

He looked at her, urging her to go on. "Then?"

"Then nothing. It's been that way for seven years now."

They said nothing over the next while. Percy got up once to patch up his face, but that was the extent of it all. Too much, they realized, was unknown.

When dark started to fall, Annabeth jumped up. "I've got to go," she said, pulling her jacket out of the closet.

Percy sighed and nodded. He crossed his arms and walked Annabeth to the door, like a married couple, seeing his wife off to work. "Just to let you know," he said, "I don't want to fight you."

She swallowed and nodded. He uncertainly held his arms out for a hug, and, after a moments hesitation, she stepped into his arms. It was only a second, but an electric jolt went up both of their spines as Annabeth left.

* * *

Neither of them did much in the way of dirty gang work over the next few weeks, and if the other members of their gangs noticed it, they didn't say so.

Percy and Annabeth devised a way to see each other more often, because, after that first day, they realized they needed to. From four to five in the morning, and from seven to eight in the evening, those were the times when no one really ruled the streets. So they visited each other. Sometimes staying in Annabeth's apartment. Sometimes in Percy's.

But, after each of those visits were over, they found themselves eagerly awaiting the next, and it wasn't long before they had devised a schedule and had become friends. It didn't feel awkward or rushed; on the contrary, they just picked up where they left off seven years ago.

But not entirely.

Physical and emotional contact, though not something new for either of them, was something avoided at all costs because of the current situations they both were in, and it infuriated them to no end, because they both wanted to, but they couldn't. After Percy's shooting, a time and place had been set for the two groups to meet. And whoever won...well, it would be big. And the date was in three days.

When a knock was heard on Percy's door at seven in the evening, three days before the big day, he opened it and Annabeth immediately flew into his arms, sobbing into his shirt. Confused, he closed the door, allowing himself to stroke her hair. Annabeth wasn't one to cry much.

He sat down on the couch and held her in his lap, relishing the feel of extreme closeness. "What's wrong?"

That brought out another round of wails, and she threw her arms around his neck. "I dont- don't want... I don't want to fight you, Percy!"

That was it?

Even more confused, he moved to stroke her hair more, but that was when she tilted her head back and kissed him.

It wasn't a "Notebook" or a "Dear John" moment, a kiss in the rain (and, in the back of their minds, both of them knew that they'd have to make a choice between gangs), but, for all they cared, it might as well have been. Annabeth's face was streaked with tears and her princess curls were messy, and Percy had only a sleeveless undershirt and jeans on- but the effect was the same.

When they pulled away, Percy looked her in the eye. "I think you know this- we can't do this and be in the gangs at the same time."

Smiling through the tears, Annabeth pulled him in for a hug. "They why don't we choose?"

Percy sighed and pulled Annabeth up, throwing a can of white spray paint into his pocket. A little graffiti on an unused wall in Astoria wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

She looked confused. "What?"

"You'll see."

She started to complain as they headed out the door. "But- I already told you! I don't want to be a Night Rider anymore! I want to be with you, and-"

He shushed her by putting a finger on her lips. "I know! Just shut up for once in your life!"

That comment hurt Annabeth a little, but Percy flashed her a cocky grin, a message that he was kidding. "You're so easily led on. Now, come on."

So he dragged her down into an alleyway off the side streets. A dangerous place for anyone else, but ordinary thugs backed away at the sight of the two most terrifying people in Queens.

Percy stopped in front of a long brick wall, stretching the length of the alleyway. "That should be long enough," he said.

He turned to Annabeth. "Close your eyes," he commanded.

Wondering what he was up to, she obediently shut her eyes and she heard the familiar hiss of spray paint. _He must be writing something out_, she said, _but what could it be?_

After a few minutes, Percy said, "Open up!"

Annabeth opened her eyes- which were quickly flooded with tears as she read the first two words of the message. Not even bothering to read the whole thing, she whirled on Percy. "How could you?" she shrieked, "I thought- I thought you loved me!"

Bewildered, Percy looked back at the message as if making sure it said what he wanted it to say. "What are you-"

Annabeth whipped out her knife and slashed Percy through his jeans into his leg, and he collapsed to the ground, his face twisted in pain.

Acid in her words, Annabeth spoke, "I never want to see your ugly face ever again. Have fun dying in three days." And she ran off, wiping tears away from her eyes, sneaking one last glance at the only words of the message that she read.

**I cant**.

* * *

At dusk, three days later, Annabeth finished giving the Night Riders their pep talk and they headed out to the meeting place. The top of a building. She was ready to kill the leader of the rival gang.

At around the same time, Percy did the same, and his boys headed out to the top of the building. He still was confused about the events of three days earlier.

When they met, introductions were grim. The two stood ten yards apart, hands by their sides. Annabeth and Percy exchanged a curt nod- and then the two gangs clashed in the middle of the roof.

Immediately, both leaders could tell that it was hopeless- the two gangs were so evenly matched, they could fight for days and nothing would happen. It would come down to the leaders against each other.

Annabeth set her jaw and strode up the middle of the roof to where her counterpart was standing. She knew what she had to do.

Percy opened his mouth nervously. "You have to listen, " he said, "I didn't-"

She didn't respond. Her knife did.

Percy gripped his arm in pain as Annabeth brought out her knife again. He ducked and, suddenly, his knife was there to block hers. And they fought amongst their companions, on the roof of a building in the worst part of Queens.

Almost as soon as they started fighting, Annabeth could tell Percy wasn't making an effort- at least, he wasn't trying to hurt her, just to defend himself. The though made her mad, for some reason, and she attacked with renewed force, pushing him to the edge of the roof.

With one final strike, the knife flew out of his hands and skittered across the brick roof. Annabeth held her knife up to his throat, and was startled to find tears in both of their eyes. "Annabeth-" he said, and his hand moved up, probably not in a hostile way.

But her years of street fighting kicked in, and she spun her leg out and kicked Percy in the chest. That was enough to send him over the edge, dropping three stories to the hard stone floor below.

The Night Riders had won.

Annabeth sighed and sheathed her knife, leaping down to where he was by way of footholds and other conveniently placed things in the wall, landing with the grace of a cat next to him.

She walked over to him and knelt down next to him, brushing his hair out of his face. He didn't have much time left.

His shirt was a bloody mess, as was his hair, and his arm was bent at an unnatural angle. He was obviously in pain as he spoke. "You- Annabeth-"

She sighed and said, "What?"

With most of his remaining strength, he jerked his thumb back over his head. "Message."

Annabeth's brow furrowed. He wanted to remind her of they day he broke her? That was his dying request?

She looked to where he was pointing, and, to her surprise, found the wall opposite where he was lying to be the wall he spray-painted her the message three days ago. Her breath hitched in her throat and tears filled her eyes once again as she read the message. The _entire_ message.

**I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you.**

Annabeth dropped down on all fours next to Percy, who was smiling weakly. She sobbed, pulling him close to her, but it was no use. He was dead, the ghost of his last smile etched on his face. Forever.

**I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you...**

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's probably going to be one of the only sad one shots I write. I mostly specialize in non-sad stuff.**

**Anyways, I mentioned stuff in the beginning of this chapter about a contest? Here it is- every time I get a review that's a multiple of 25, like my25th review, or my 50th review, or something like that, then the person who made that review will get to come up with the idea of the next one shot! And if a guest is the reviewer, the review before that one will be the chosen one. So if you are the "chosen one", then I'll PM you and you can tell me your idea for a one shot, okay?**

**By the way, the first person to review this chapter will be the 50th reviewer and the "chosen one".**

**Anyways, reviews would be nice. Tell me what you think!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	15. YOU SEXIST PIG

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! More stuff about the contest at the bottom.**

**Okay, so the idea for this chapter is something that happened in school, and I felt like I had to write it down. Just imagine that Percy decided to get a job as a Greek Mythology teacher.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

The first thing Percy Jackson saw when he opened his eyes was the sunlight streaming through the window.

Groaning, he sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Monday was always the worst day of the week. Friggin' school. Never should have gotten a teacher.

That was his thought process every morning until he got his coffee fix.

_Good thing I love working with kids,_ Percy grumbled to himself as he swung his legs out of bed, _Maybe I should get some of my own..._

Dirty thoughts filled his head as he padded into the bathroom, grinning to himself.

Showers for Percy were simple ordeals- just in, command water to clean self like only the prince of the sea can, and get out. Towels aren't even necessary.

When he got out of the shower, however, and threw on his clothes, something felt different. Wrong, even. Unnatural.

Frowning, he walked around the house a few times, trying to see if he could find the source of his uneasiness.

Doors all locked...TV off...coffee pot now overflowing...Annabeth still sleeping...

What could it be?

He shrugged and walked back up to his bedroom to wake his wife. She only needed to leave two hours after he did, at five in the morning, but she liked to get up and see him off. Something married couples did, maybe. All Percy knew was that if they switched roles, he'd throw a pillow at her, cover his head with another one, and say, "EFF OFF, I'M SLEEPING!"

When he got up to their shared room, however, Annabeth was already up, dressed in her bathrobe (which, unbeknownst to her, Percy had used a pair of scissors one day to lop off six inches of the bottom of-for the view) and was leaning back against a pillow, watching TV.

Her brow furrowed when he sat down in bed next to her. "Morning," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Did you love me, dad, huh, did you? ANSWER ME?!"

Annabeth paused Robert Downey Jr's rant and looked at her husband. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

Percy's blood ran cold. Wife up...unnatural feeling...sunlight through the windows...

Since when have you been able to see sunlight at five AM?

Percy whirled around to face her. "Shit! What time is it?"

Annabeth smirked and craned her neck, checking out the blinking red number on her alarm clock. "Seven- thirty. Class starts in fifteen minutes."

Percy was already out the door.

He was running at seemingly superhuman speed, muttering curses under his breath about school and psychotic wives who didn't wake up their husbands as he stuffed papers into his bag, downed a whole cup of coffee in three seconds, and tucked his black polo into his pants as he rushed out the door, waving over his shoulder to Annabeth Jackson.

Gods, how good it felt, even after four years, to be able to say that.

Annabeth chuckled at the sight of him. She'd never know why someone who was as hopeless at school as he was would become a teacher.

She clasped her hands around the warm mug of tea (she stopped drinking coffee after she found out about the high caffeine levels) and took a few sips, watching the snow lightly fall on the streets outside of their comfortable penthouse apartment in Manhattan.

After a few minutes, though, her eyes wandered to the kitchen counter, with it's pot of coffee precariously balanced on top of a...

Annabeth squinted her eyes to make sure. A brown paper bag?

She set her mug of tea down and shuffled over to it, moving the coffee pot away, and inspected it closely. She sighed and smacked herself on the forehead.

Yes, it was a brown paper bag. To be more precise, her husband's lunch for the day. And the cafeteria food at the high school he taught at was just about a level above _crap_, so he'd go hungry if he didn't get that lunch. Which meant that, once again, the innocent, hardworking wife had to compensate for her idiot husband's mistakes.

Annabeth sighed and padded upstairs to take a quick shower. Though her husband could be a child sometimes, he was very sweet, and she cared for him a lot. He needed to eat his lunch.

But that didn't stop her from cussing him out in her head, though.

_The things women do, _she grumbled, _Why the hell is this marriage thing all hyped up?_

Then, as an afterthought-

_Stupid Seaweed Brain._

* * *

Oddly enough, Percy got to school in five minutes, ten minutes before the bell rang. And, no, it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he overshot the speed limit by forty miles an hour. Or the fact that he spent most of his time on two wheels. And on the sidewalk.

Thank the gods for the Mist.

However, by the time he managed to skirt around the gym teacher (Mrs. DeLuis, who always tried to hit on him even though he explained to her countless times that he was married), and make it through the whole school to the farthest wing, which was where his classroom was, he barely had two minutes to organize his lesson plans for the day when his first period class came bursting in through the doors.

Honestly, ten years ago, he and his then-girlfriend now-wife Annabeth Chase had just realized he was missing from his cabin. They were seventeen then, and Percy would have laughed at anyone who said that he'd earn his living being a Greek Mythology teacher- at Goode High, nonetheless.

But now, if he ever thought about it (as he profanely did while grading papers) it wasn't a half bad job. Not to brag or anything, but the kids loved him. All of them. Somehow, he was a primary connection to them; Annabeth would shout this out loud whenever he forgot to unload the dishwasher or take out the trash YOU MANGY SON OF A-

That he was immature.

Percy was inclined to disagree. He was mature, he just chose not to use it at times. Like, for example, teaching. Because kids love teachers who are like them.

Back to the reasons why it wasn't a bad job- over the years, his Greek Mythology teachers had been screwing with Greek Mythology, and it was nice for a lot of reasons to set them straight. One, it was always nice to one-up a teacher. Two, it wasn't hard. He already knew everything. And three- it was fun. He was a teacher who talked a lot, but it wasn't boring lectures, it was actual talking. Sometimes, he even "pretended" to be a Son of Poseidon, battling Medusas and Minoutaurs and all kinds of stuff (as if they'd ever know). Kids ate all that up.

But one of the best reasons why? Certainly, the awed stares he got from teachers who taught him in high school, Mrs. Krabappel (**had to bring her back!**), who said he'd never amount to anything, Mr. Frame, who loved embarrassing him in math class- no, them staring at him like they couldn't believe he'd come that far-those didn't hurt.

Back to the current situation.

He knew for a fact that two or three kids in his class had a crush on him- and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out who, or why. But when he was looking down at papers on his desk, he could feel eyes boring into him- but when he looked up, nothing. The one thing that infuriated him was that kids had gotten faster at averting their eyes.

The one good thing, though, about getting up late, was that he probably looked a wreck, and it would be nice to not feel so awkward in front of his own students.

"Hi, Mr. Jackson!"

A cheerful, always energetic, pretty (in a friendly way) girl bounded into the classroom, and Percy couldn't help but smile back at her. "Hiya, Hailey!"

Hailey was one of his favorite students- and he knew he wasn't supposed to play favorites, but he couldn't help himself with her. Perhaps because she reminded him so much of Annabeth.

They were both extremely brilliant- probably Annabeth more so than Hailey (because of her parentage) but Hailey wasn't too far behind. That wasn't the only thing, though. They both had that aura about them, like, "DONT MESS WITH ME!" Which scares people off at first sight, but when, you get to know them, they warm towards you. Eventually. Plus, he liked how they both didn't have mad fangirl crushes on him- he'd started to notice that random girls had crushes on him in senior year and even in college, and it really started to annoy him.

But one of the best things he liked about Hailey- Percy knew what it felt like to have to get up at six in the morning to go to a place you don't want to go to. It sucks. But Hailey didn't mind, or, if she did, she didn't let it bother her. While other students cared about their grades, she came here to learn. She liked it, not just for the sake of getting good grades, but she came to school to actually learn. And it was always nice to have a student who did that.

The rest of his class soon filed in, and Percy stood up. "Everyone sleep well?"

He was met by groans from the class, which was acceptable and predictable. He grinned to himself before saying, "Well, I got the test results back, and no one got higher than an F."

That got them all to wake up.

They snapped to attention, all twenty-two of them simultaneously screaming, "WHAT?"

He chuckled. "I'm just screwing with you. Try to wake up on time."

He walked back to his desk and said, "I know you probably don't want to, but since you didn't finish it on Friday, you'll need to complete the worksheet. Pages 34-35, get to it!"

More grumbles and groans followed, but the class obediently pulled out their worksheets and pens and got to work.

After a fairly uneventful ten minutes, most of the class was done, and the few stragglers who remained finished the last problem or so as Percy started talking.

He stood up to get the class's attention, and threw a marker and a whiteboard eraser at a few kids who neglected to pay attention. Yes, it could be considered as child abuse, but it was effective.

Not to mention it was a helluva lot of fun.

He grinned and cleared his throat. "So, we're going on a field trip in two weeks, and each of you will have to bring in ten dollars by tomorrow, okay?"

Immediately (without fail) a hand shot up into the air. "Yes?" said Percy politely.

The student spoke up. "How do we give it? Cash?"

Percy shook his head. "No, check."

Another student raised his hand. "Why, Mr. Jackson?"

Percy sighed and sat down on the stool in the front of the room, grabbing a golf club and waving it around. He called it his "silent stick", to be slammed on the desks of people who talked in class. "You ready for a whole rant?"

The whole class nodded. They were used to Percy's rants, which were fun to listen to, even more fun to watch, and, often times, educational.

"Well," he began, "Don't give it in the form of, like, a ten dollar bill? Because if you do, I put it all in an envelope and take it home, then as soon as I step in the door, my wife comes and takes it from me."

There were ooohs from the guys in the crowd, and Percy noticed some girl's faces fall at the mention of a "wife". Or maybe it was at the extreme sexism of the statement he made. He continued.

"But that isn't all," he said, getting up and waving his silent stick around, getting into the rant, "I've heard this from some of my friends- if you ever get your wife pregnant, then the next nine months of your life are absolute freaking hell! She complains about every little thing, asks you to do everything for her- even little things like turn on the TV! And, plus, she makes you buy all these weird and crazy food combinations, then takes one bite of it, and has you running to the store to get a whole other mix!"

When he paused to take a breath, Percy noticed something weird. Some students in the back row were exchanging money, like...betting? He thought he caught a few words of their conversation.

"If...kill...or not?"

"No! How...times...kill...Jackson."

This confused him a bit, but he continued. "And during the next nine months, when she makes you do all that stuff, if you're courageous enough to tell her about it, then she tells you that you should be lucky you're not carrying around a dude in your belly for nine months? Well, that's crap, because she can't feel any pain! They just use it as an excuse to get you to be their personal friggin' slave for a whole year!"

At this point, everyone was well aware that he was being unfairly sexist in his conversation, but you should blame the ADHD and the fact that he overslept- while not often thought about, it was a dangerous and lethal combination.

Like he was about to find out.

He stalked over to the whiteboard and drew a square on the board. "This represents our bed," he said, and when the whole class's faces turned white, he groaned, "Perverted kids these days. We're just _sleeping_."

The faces returned back to the normal color, and he continued, drawing a line down the middle of the bed, separating it in half. "This," he explained, "is how we go to sleep at night."

He then erased the line and redrew it so, to the left of it was an extremely tiny area, and to the right of it was an area spanning almost the entire "bed."

"And this!" he said, jabbing his finger and silent stick at it (which made for an interesting sight), "This is how it ends up the next morning! And this-"

"Ahem."

_Oh, crap,_ Percy thought as he whirled around, his students stifling giggles, _Please don't let it be-_

FWOCK.

Annabeth.

She smiled at the class, but the look in her eyes directed at Percy was one that said, "You have five seconds to run before I *******************".

A brown paper bag sailed through the air and Percy caught in, square in his chest. "Um, thanks?" he stuttered out nervously, trying to avoid Annabeth's death glare, but it turned out to be phrased like a question.

He turned to his class, setting the bag on his desk. "This is my wife, Annabeth," he explained, "Um- did I mention how awesome she was? Like, she comes to school, to, um, give me my lunch when I forget! And she...doesn't take all my money. Or, or take up all the space on the bed. Definitely not." Percy's head progressively went down lower as he said this, and it ended with him focusing on the extremely interesting dust bunny at his feet. His class was still stifling laughs at the sight of their teacher cowering in front of his wife.

"You're right," she said, walking over to him, "I don't do any of those things. What...random and interesting things that I don't do, right? How did you get the idea to mention those specific things?"

Head still down, he stammered out, "Uh- um, I, uh...didyouhearthewholething?"

"Every word of it."

Percy gulped and said, "Uh, there- there are kids here, I'm sure they wouldn't want to be prone to R-rated violence, and-"

"We're eighteen!" interjected a voice from the sea of desks, "We watch a lot of violence!"

Annabeth shrugged and kissed him on the cheek before exiting. "I hope you've got the hospital on speed dial by the time you get home. Oh, and, assuming you live through to bedtime- you're sleeping on the couch until further notice."

Then, as an afterthought, she called from the hallway-

"YOU SEXIST PIG!"

* * *

**A/N: This is all based on true events! I have a teacher who rants a lot, and who uses a golf club as a "silent stick" (it broke when he slammed it on some guy's desk so now he uses a yardstick) and he started ranting very sexist things in class one day. Which I found offensive, but his wife didn't come, so I added that little morning scene so that Annabeth would come to school and set Percy straight.**

**Okay, I promised more about the contest, so here it is.**

**pineconeface4444 was the winner, and even if she/he didn't log in for the 50th time, you were the next eligible reviewer, so you win! Just a side note- the chosen review can't just be- "YAY I WIN!" or something like that. It has to be actual feedback, starting from now on. If that rule was in effect now, then Acrzie would be the winner, because she/he gave feedback on a chapter. So, in the future, know that the chosen review will contain actual feedback.**

**In regards to the contest winner, it's pineconeface4444! YAY FOR YOU! So, all you have to do is PM me within the next week for your request (if you don't then I just won't do anything until the 75th reviewer) and I'll write it up for you ASAP! And please, no M-rated stuff, okay?**

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated! More so than if Channing Tatum appeared on my doorstep shirtless- gah! *blushes* Okay, maybe not more than that. But still, review!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	16. The Mark of Athena

**A/N: Well, here it is! The chosen reviewer's chapter, as requested by pineconeface4444! And while I did already do a reunion fic (like everyone else on this site), I've been looking for an excuse to write a better one, but I haven't gotten the chance- yet.**

**Anyways, I'm going to list all the people who've reviewed. I know that some author's do shout-outs, but I'm happy to say that that will take wayyyyy too long, just know that I appreciate every review I get! They make me like a kid on Christmas!**

**Thank you to: sheilarae1234, **

**PercyJacksonAddict, **

**ForeverintheShade, **

**Soccerlover5959, **

**Amy's Mischievous Little Owl,**

** all-star102938, **

**I-Was-Born-To-Be-Somebody, **

**Shur-tugal Daughter of Artemis (I hope your request chapter turned out good!), **

**Elena C. Jackson, **

**Love H.O.A Mikayla, **

**DARK ANGEL99, **

**percabeth 777, **

**PJOBestfan29, **

**Sarcasm Mode (thanks for the suggestion. and, yes! I got that from the Avengers! And I might have to add Hawkeye, played by Jeremy Renner, to my list of celebrity crushes), **

**writing-noobie (luv the username!), **

**Ilovepercabeth1234, **

** . .7, **

**finchelfanforever2015, **

**Crazy Otaku Fangirl, **

**WisestOwl, **

**MalikaiDragonSlayer, **

**Meepmeep123, **

**ChristieLaurenn**

**GoddesofCreativity**

**Arielle 12**

**pineconeface4444**

**Acrzie,**

** .lover**

**monkeyjoe**

**AAAANNNNDDDDD****D**

**Tajee165**

**Gods, that took a long time to write out. **

**Anyways, I'll skip the chitchat! Here is: the Percabeth reunion in the Mark of Athena, as requested by pineconeface4444! I tried to make it different from the rest.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

"I'M BACK! BACK IN THE NEW YORK GROOVE!"

"Leo-"

"Tell me my future!"

"I can't just-"

I'M BACK! BACK IN THE-"

"I am _this _close to taking this knife and-"

"Come on, Rachel! Will you please tell me what's in my future?"

"Not if you keep singing that song, Valdez."

"TELL ME!"

"I'd rather-"

"Please tell me what's in my future?"

"No."

"I'M BACK! BACK IN THE-"

"You know what I see in your future? My foot up your-"

Annabeth hoisted herself over into the crow's nest- better known as that basket high above the ship. In the olden days, a person would be stationed up there as a lookout- watching out for enemy ships, obstacles in the water, that kind of thing. Excellent battle strategy.

Also an excellent place to think.

She sighed and slowly slid down the side of the small wooden basket, hugging her knees to her chest, her blonde hair blowing in the wind.

One of her fondest memories of Percy was of him looking at her, in a situation similar to this one, her blonde hair blowing all messy and stuff, and him blushing. Saying she looked...uh...um...uh...youlookreallyprettyannabeth.

It took her a while to decipher that, but when she did, she didn't believe it. How could he find her pretty when her hair was all messed up? And not only that, there were five words in that mumbled sentence, and there were seven people mentioned in the next Great Prophecy, and five plus seven is twelve, and twelve was an unlucky number in Kazakhstan, which used to be part of the Soviet Union, which was bad because they used to be Communist, which was bad because...

Gods, she really needed to see Percy. Now she knew how drug addicts felt during withdrawl.

_Shed a tear, 'cause I'm missing you..._

_Still alright to smile..._

"LEO FREAKING VALDEZ! IF YOU DON'T TURN OFF THAT MUSIC RIGHT NOW-"

"All right, I'm sorry! I just wanted to see if that would jog your...prophecy output? Somehow?"

She looked down at the campers on the deck, allowing herself a small smile, as the song suggested, as she looked down at her fellow campers. Leo had previously announced that they were ten minutes away from Camp Jupiter (if Jason's recollections of it's location were correct) and being on a flying boat for three days did wonders (sarcasm) for their ADHD. It was getting to be simply too much to sit in their designated bunks much longer. Plus, they all were worried about...him.

Annabeth sighed again and hugged her knees closer to her chest. Percy, she thought, just _had_ to be the unluckiest person on the face of this earth.

His dad leaves as soon as he gets born, then his mom goes and marries a douchebag. Then, no less than fifteen gods (counting the minor ones) all interfere with his life over the next five years, during the span of which (by a mistake the gods made, mind you) the fate of the world was dumped on his shoulders. After dealing with that, he is allowed three months of freedom- and two of them were when he had school- and just when things seem to be getting back to normal, his memory is wiped and he's sent to the other end of the country for the next eight months, with the fate of the world again dumped on his shoulders, as he faces an enemy that could make it impossible to even walk.

She shook her head, breaking her train of depressing thoughts, but it was hard to keep the suppressed. It wasn't just Percy; a lot of camp had a feeling of "been there, done that" and just wanted to not have to worry for once in their lives. Now, though, with an extremely short amount of time (who knows how fast the Giants could work?) they had to go, three times over the distance they already traveled in the _opposite_ direction from which they came, across the second largest ocean in the world. To fight twelve superhumans. And their mother. Who controls the earth. And who can't die.

Hard no to be just a little bit depressed or pessimistic, especially when the cheeriest camper of them all is gone.

Since all attempts at ridding her head of thoughts like that had failed, she instead pushed it to the side of her brain and looked down at all of her fellow demigods, satyrs, and Oracles. Almost unsurprisingly, the entire camp had come- and that was including Chiron and the nature spirits. The camp was left unguarded...but it was not like anything could get in anyways, right? And besides, Peleus the dragon was still guarding the Golden Fleece.

On another note- whether Percy knew it or not, all of camp loved him. He was like a leader to them. Percy Jackson is the one who defeated four Titans, he's the one who saved Olympus, he's the one who turned down immortality for his friends! Now, he was kidnapped, and, suddenly, the whole mood changed. If Percy Jackson was this vulnerable, everybody was. If Percy Jackson could die, anybody could die.

That's why they were all anxiously waiting for him, even Jason, Piper, and Leo, who'd never met Percy. They were waiting for their leader. Percy Jackson.

So why wasn't Annabeth?

Her "daughter-of-Athena", deep reflective thoughts were interrupted by the soft _thump _coming from under her, and she knew it was the _Argo ll_ landing in the Roman Camp. She could hear voices out front, probably Jason convincing the Romans that the Greeks weren't out to kill them (with Chiron's help, of course) according to the plan.

Annabeth sighed and stood up, stretching out her cramped muscles and shaking her right foot, which had fallen asleep. In one swift motion (and after making sure her dagger was securely sheathed and her hair was neatly tied back in a ponytail) she leaped over the side of the crow's nest and slid down the mast, dropping on all fours on the deck.

She could still hear voices, but assumed that Jason and Chiron had managed to calm down the Romans enough so that they wouldn't kill them at first sight. She stood up and dusted herself off, walking towards the stairs that led to the door that led to the other set of stairs that led to the other door that led to the gangplank that led to the Romans...and Percy. But, she still couldn't hold back the thoughts. Her fears. What could have happened in the eight months she wasn't there to knock some sense into his seaweed-filled head.

The truth was, Annabeth wasn't scared about if he had a new girlfriend, or any mindless crap like that, the stuff orange teenagers from Jersey are worried about. That was the kind of thing she couldn't change, or affect in any way. Not that she wouldn't be physically and emotionally crushed at the sight of that (and eternally jacked off at Hera), but her one consolation was that nothing and no one could affect that. It would just...be.**  
**

No, what she was actually worried about? Like, what sometimes kept her up late at night? The cause of the feeling she was having in the pit of my stomach right now?

The feeling that was causing that was Annabeth's fear of how the Romans could have _changed_ Percy.

See, everyone at camp knows of Percy as the sweet, loyal (insanely hot), friendly person, who turns deadly with a sword when his home or the people he loves are threatened. The hilarious, most optimistic, fun-loving person at camp.

She reached the second door and hesitated a little before throwing it open and walking to the gangplank.

Jason Grace said it himself- the Romans are a whole hell of a lot tougher than the Greeks. Who knows what eight months, with no memory of how he _used_ to be, could've done to him? How hard would it be for all of the Greeks and Annabeth to adjust? If they ever would? What if all of his casual, laid-back attitude is just...gone? Replaced by a heartless warrior? One who doesn't feel...affection?

She was too cowardly to say the "L" word yet.

Making a split-second decision, she ripped her Yankees hat out of her pocket and swiftly placed it on her head as the tears started to come. No one could see her like this, one-upped (is that a word?) by her own thoughts. Screw the bullshit about not worrying about if he had a new girlfriend or not- she was freaking terrified.

"DESTROY THE GREEKS! THEY ARE IN CAHOOTS WITH THE GIANTS!"

She squinted and saw a scrawny, blonde boy (probably a son or a descendant of Apollo) raise a purple Webkinz dragon in one hand and a wooden sword in the other. The Romans and the Greeks were standing apart from each other, not violently fighting each other, but not looking like friends, either.

The blonde boy was standing in front of the Romans, waving his sword up and down, trying to start a chant of, "KILL-THE-GREEK! KILL-THE-GREEK!"

In the nicest way possible to say it- it wasn't working.

He then proceeded to skewer the poor Webkinz and dump out his stuffing, looking at it as it floated to the ground. "Ah-ha!" he exclaimed, "I knew it!" he pointed the wooden sword (with the Webkinz still on the end of it) at the Greeks. "These are the perpetrators!" and then he pointed the sword at a handsome, athletic-looking boy on the Roman side, who was casually leaning against a ten pole, crossing his arms, with an amused look on his face. "And him! _He's_ one of them! He's evil, too!"

_Hmmm,_ Annabeth thought, _must be some kind of...Oracle? What was the Roman word for it...augur? Auger?_

She casually looked at the handsome Roman boy, and her heart stopped. He was staring right into her eyes, his boring into hers, and a ghost of a smile crossed his face.

_OMFGODS. It's him_.

Annabeth looked down at herself. Still invisible. Then how could he-

"Did I ever tell you that your hair blowing around in the wind is awesome for more than one reason, Wise Girl?"

**Annabeth POV**

I craned my neck as far to the left as I could and saw that some of my cursed bangs were flapping around in the wind, sticking out of my invisibility hat. Meaning people could just see random hair flying around, wondering if they were shooting a scene from Paranormal Activity.

Blushing profusely, I took off the hat and looked down at my feet. "Um...hi, Percy."

We were on the edge of the crowds now, the main conversation happening between the blonde boy (who I would later learn to be named Octavian) and the sane people of the planet.

I looked up and saw him grinning at me, and I blushed even harder, like I did the day he turned gorgeous instead of just good-looking.

He walked up to me and hugged me tightly, and I hugged him back, savoring this moment, never wanting it to end.

I nervously drew back after a while and studied him, my previous fears coming back to haunt me. "Percy? Are you- you-"

His brow furrowed in confusion, and I blushed (again) because he looked so gods damned cute when that happened. "What?"

My face turned a deeper shade of red and I giggled, looking back down at the ground. "You look cute when you're like that. Your eyebrows get all scrunched together."

It was his turn to blush, and his face turned a bright shade of red. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and said, "Um...well..." And it was at that moment that I knew that the Romans never could change him and never would, even if they tried.

I grinned and leaped into his arms. Something was different, though...when I did this before, even when he was surprised, he would just catch me and say something stupid that was extremely cute and I would laugh and he would blush.

Now, though, he fell to the ground and his eyebrows scrunched up again, but this time out of pain.

A horrible thought crossed my mind as I thought back to ten minutes ago, when we were just passing the borders of the camp, I saw a strong river flowing...

I stared right into his eyes, which made them go all cross-eyed (which I found _extremely_ cute, for some reason) and said, "Did you lose the Curse of Achilles?"

He swallowed, looking a little uncomfortable, but said, "I had to. It was either that or I would never get to see you guys again."

It was my turn to furrow my eyebrows. "You remembered us?"

He shook his head. "No, only you."

The blush came back. "Wh- why- uh, I mean- what?"

I cursed myself. _Smooth, Annabeth. Real smooth._

He shrugged. "I remembered only you."

I smiled and turned my head sideways, laying it on his chest. We were still a ways away from the crowds, and out here, with the wind blowing and the sweet smell of...nature in the air...it was nice, to say the least. "What did you remember?"

"Mainly how you kissed me whenever I did something stupid."

I laughed. My first laugh in eight months. "I kissed you a lot."

"I figured."

Another laugh.

"But," he said, "It wasn't exactly...a good thing. Remembering you."

Immediately, the anger came. "What?" I snarled, "How-"

His eyes widened. "Not in that way! I mean, it was like, Hera was saying "here's the person you care about the most yet you can't remember shit and you won't until you do my nefarious bidding!""

I sighed, deciding to forgive him (just this once) and, yet again, leaned my head on his shoulder. "Well," I said, "We're here now. That's all that matters."

"Well, if you insist on being cheesy, yes."

So we lay there for a while. Listening to the sounds and looking at the sights of New Rome, which was nothing compared to Olympus (in my opinion), but still pretty, nonetheless.

The two camps had managed to work out their differences, I guessed. At least, there wasn't anymore shouting and hostility. The Romans went back to their tents. The Greeks went to their rooms on the _Argo ll_, and I could hear Mr. "Forever Alone Leo" (our nickname for him), once again trying to hit on Rachel.

"Please, cariño? Please tell me my future?"

SMACK! "I know what cariño means, you big-headed, small-dicked loser!"

There was silence, which was either Leo fleeing away from Rachel (smart) or Leo fleeing away from Rachel to go and blast a love song through the ship's speakers (not smart). And it turned out to be the latter.

_Boys can be such idiots_, was my last thought before, sure enough, a song started playing, loud enough for the whole camp to hear.

_What difference it makes_?_ What's it take? To get it through your thick skulls?_

_That this ain't some bullshit, people don't usually come back this way!_

_From a place that was dark as I was in just to get to this place,_

_Now let these words be like a switchblade to a hater's ribcage!_

_And let it be known that from this day forwards, I wanna just say thanks, cause your hate is what gave me this strength!_

_Now let them bitch raise, cuz I came in 5'9, but I fell like I'm 6'8!_

"Darn! Wrong CD, cariño! Don't worry, the next one will be-"

SMACK!

"HOLYFUCK HOW DID YOU GET UP HERE!"

Percy chuckled softly and wrapped his arm around me, drawing me closer and looking at me like I was some sort of goddess. "It's good to be home."

"Yeah," I said, softly kissing him on the cheek, "It is."

On the ship-

"STOP HITTING ON ME! I'M AN ETERNAL MAIDEN, FAGGOT!"

"Fine, jeez! Just stop the yelling!" Then, when she'd presumably walked away, "Jeez, the three most terrifying chicks in my life, I met 'em all within the span of a week! How bad is my luck?"

I smiled. I knew he was talking about Piper, Rachel, and I, and that made me quite a bit arrogant and confident. So, I kissed Percy for the first time in eight months.

He kissed back and I rolled over on top of him, savoring the moment, wishing it would last forever.

"And you'd better not play any more music!"

"Alright! I already said I wouldn't!"

Silence. Then-

_Fuck you_, _(Fuck you!), Fuck you, very very mu-_

"VALDEZ!"

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's my best shot (for now, at least). I hope it was good enough! And I also hope it was IC, and not as cliche as some of the other ones I've read. Let me give you an example of the cliche MOA reunion.**

**Scene 1: Annabeth, on ship, looking out over the railing. Spills feeling to Piper. Piper comforts her.**

**Scene 2: Leo/Jason hit on Annabeth and/or Piper. Ship lands. **

**Scene 3: Greeks get out. Annabeth finds Percy. He pretends not to remember her, but then reveals that he does.**

**Scene 4: Annabeth runs to Percy. She slaps him silly. Then, they make out for ten years.**

**Scene 5: Leo says something witty. Annabeth and Percy stop making out, blush at the sight of everyone in camp looking at each other.**

**Scene 6: Either A) Reyna glares at Jason and Piper, who are holding hands.**

** Or B) Jason runs away from Piper and hugs Reyna. Piper cries. **

**THE END.**

**I hope I made mine different! And, if you wanted to know, the song Leo is singing is "Back in the New York Groove", the first song is "Patience", by Guns N' Roses, the second song is "Lighters", by Eminem and Bruno Mars, and the last song is "Fuck you", by Lilly Allen. :) it's a good song.**

**Anywhoo, tell me what you think of this in a review!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	17. Friends

**A/N: Ahem.**

**Thanks for the reviews! And yes, Innoverse, that's how I pictured their reunion to be, not...unrealistic like a lot of the other ones I see. My guess it that their reunion would be like between two friends, because Rick Riordan hasn't really made it that fluffy, just a little bit, which I liked.**

**So I'm steering clear of Percabeth for a while to write a PercyxNico friendship fic. It's going to be a series of short scenes, mostly dialogue, and mostly between Percy and Nico. Annabeth and Rachel (RachelxNico supporters ftw!) will be there, too.**

**There's a lot of language in this, so be forewarned!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

Percy stopped kissing Annabeth only for long enough so both of their shirts could come off.

Percy grinned, moving down to trail kisses along her neck as she let out a moan of pleasure. "Percy, just-"

_BOOM!_

"FUCK!"

Thunder rattled the house, and rain started to pour down in sheets outside as Percy leaped off Annabeth and covered his ears with his hands.

Annabeth groaned. _So close to doing it!_

She turned to Percy. "I- I don't get it, thirty years old, and you're still scared of thunder? Even after you found out that it's not some uncontrollable natural force, but a guy? Still, you're scared?"

Percy furrowed deeper into the covers until only his head was poking out. "I am not!"

Annabeth sighed and smiled seductively, moving closer to him. "Well, it's over now, so we can-"

Percy cut her off. "We can continue tomorrow." He then proceeded to push her off the bed, and Annabeth landed with a shriek (not of pleasure) on the hard wooden floor.

Almost immediately, Nico's form appeared out of the shadows of the closet, and, still in his Darth Vader pajamas and shirtless, he let out a few screams of terror en route to leaping into the bed, occupying what was Annabeth's spot, like it was a regular, planned routine. "Thunder buddies for life, right, Perce?"

Percy nodded. "Fucking right."

"All right, let's sing the thunder buddy song."

"Okay."

Annabeth groaned (again) as they launched into song.

"WHEN YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THUNDER, DON'T YOU GET TOO SCARED! JUST GRAB YOUR THUNDER BUDDY, AND SAY THESE MAGIC WORDS!"

Percy's left hand tightly gripped Nico's right, and they stuck their middle fingers up to the sky as they sang the next verse.

"FUCK YOU, THUNDER! YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK! YOU CAN'T GET ME, THUNDER, CUZ YOU'RE JUST GOD'S FARTS!"

* * *

Percy squinted at the screen, and Nico did the same, trying to read the title through their dyslexia. "Magic Mike?"

Nico turned to Rachel. "What kinda gay-ass movie is that?"

Percy gave Annabeth a pointed glare. "It's about a male stripper, right?"

Annabeth gave a pleasurable sigh as the movie started. "Yeah...Channing Tatum..."

"Nico," said Rachel, "Take your shirt off."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"But Percy and Annabeth are right-"

"Percy," said Annabeth, "you do it too."

"...Is this some kinda girl thing?"

"GOD DAMMIT!" Annabeth snapped, and Nico and Percy cowered under her glared, "DO IT!"

They both hurriedly did it, and Percy grabbed Annabeth and made her sit in his lap. "I," he said, kissing her cheek, "See your plan. We-"

She pushed him off and directed him to a couch on the side. "Go sit over there," she said.

Rachel shoved Nico towards a couch on the other side of the room. "You, too."

Perplexed, they both went and sat down, still shirtless.

"Annabeth," said Percy, "What are you-"

"I'm looking at my sex icon. Channing Tatum."

"I thought I was your sex icon!"

"Not when I can have Channing Tatum."

Nico glared at Rachel. "So what am I here for? You're also gonna stare at Channing Tatum shirtless?"

"No, that's what Matthew McConaughey is for."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me."

"Then why do we have our shirts off?"

"Whenever they don't appear shirtless in the movie, I'm just going to look at you."

"FUCK YOU, MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY!"

* * *

"Chill out, Nico," said Percy, fingering the buttons on his PS3 controller, "the guy's already dead."

Next to him, Nico's expression was grim. "You can never be- AUGH, HE'S ALIVE!"

The guy's head twitched a little, and Nico's avatar shot him with a P90.

_BANG!_ "DIE!"

Percy took a turn shooting.

_BANG! _"DIE!"

Percy looked at Nico and nodded.

_BANG!_ "DIE!"

_BANG!_ "DIE!"

_BANG!_ "DIE!"

_BANG!_ "DIE!"

_BANG!_ "DIE!"

_BANG!_ "DIE!"

_BANG!_ "DIE!"

They guy wasn't moving, but this was too much fun.

"Damn," said Percy, "these things are hard to kill."

_BANG!_

Nico took another shot at the clearly deceased soldier.

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

_BANG!_

Percy brought his gun up, hesitated for a second-

_BANG!_

* * *

Nico groaned and poked Percy in the ribs. "Tell me again why we're in the grocery store ten minutes before the Super Bowl is about to begin?"

Exasperated, Percy said, "Look, I don't want to, either! But have you ever been on the receiving end of a tag-team glare from Rachel _and_ Annabeth?"

"Good...good point. How about we not talk about that?"

So they waled around the store, buying carbon tetrachloride (Annabeth, for god-knows-what), thirty different paints that looked _exactly_ the same (Rachel), and every movie that Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey ever acted in (both of them), among other things.

Finally, _finally_, it was time to leave, and Percy and Nico had just reached the checkout counter (fifteen minutes after the Super Bowl started) when Nico spotted a guy in the medicine aisle.

"Motherfucker!" he said, pointing out the guy to Percy, "That's the kid who's all over Rachel's facebook page!"

"Nico, she's your girlfriend! He isn't-"

"Stephen, there's no way your dick's that big!"

Percy clamped a hand over Nico's mouth and steered him through the checkout counter, smiling apologetically at the many parents with young children they passed and taking his credit card back from the cashier.

"Nico!" he chastised in the car on the way back, "You can't just say that, there are kids around!"

"What if it's true?"

"Some people's dick's are that big."

"Hell no! Not his, anyway."

"They're a big seller."

"I refuse to believe it."

"A lot of people have big dicks, Nico."

Silence. Then-

"I swear to Hades I'll rip his dick off!"

"You're gonna need two hands, man."

* * *

Percy poured half a box of Corn Pops into his mouth (or Porn Cops, as he first read it, cursing his dyslexia) and looked over at Nico, who was watching SportsCenter.

"Nico?"

"'Sup?"

"I'm taking Annabeth out for dinner today, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Do you think she'll be expecting something...big?"

"...What, like vaginal? Didn't you already-"

"No! Like, a, fucking...circular gold thing on the finger!"

Nico muted the TV. "Oh, what- what, fuck that, Percy! You've only been dating for ten years, you and I have known each other for thirteen years!"

"You hated me for three of those years."

Nico punched Percy in the shoulder. "You've known me longer than you've known her. Where's my ring, asshole? Huh?" He started throwing punches everywhere at Percy.

"Nico, stop-"

"Where's my ring, asshole?"

"Nic-"

"Where's my engagement ring, motherfucker? Huh?"

"Will you-"

"Put it on my fucking finger, you f-"

"NICO!"

Percy shoved Nico away. "Stop that!"

"Alright, I'm just saying!"

* * *

"A girl tried to hit on me at the store today."

Percy raised an eyebrow at his cousin. "You went shopping?"

"Rachel said I wouldn't get any action if I didn't buy two million more paint bottles. Not to mention canvases, paintbrushes, palettes..."

"So basically, she dried out your entire wallet?"

"Yup. But she's a chick, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised."

"Yeah. Hey, you said a chick tried to hit on you?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Nico smirked and gestured to himself. "Who could resist _this_?"

"I know, right? How silly of me."

"..."

"You rejected her, right?"

"Yeah. Imagine what Rachel would've done..."

"I'd rather not."

"..."

"Well, what was her name?"

"White trash name. Guess."

Percy thought for a minute. "Mandy?"

"Nope."

"Marilyn."

"Nu-uh."

"Tiffany."

"Nope."

"Brittney."

Nico shook his head.

"Candace."

"Nope."

"Don't fuck with me on this! I know this shit!"

"You see me fucking with you? I'm not-"

Percy set his jaw, determined to guess the name.

"Alright," he said, "Speed round, I'm going to rattle off some names, and when I hit it, fucking buzz it, you got it?"

Nico nodded. "I _will_ tell you."

"Okay."

Percy took a deep breath, and-

"Brandy, Heather, Channing, Brianna, Amber, Sabrina, Melanie, Dakota, Sienna, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantel, Courtney, Jenny, Misty, Krista, Mindy, Noelle, Shelby, Katrina, Reba, Cassandra, Nicki, Kelsey, Shonda, Sholene, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Emily, Kendra, Collie, Chloe, Devin, Emmalou, FUCKING BECKY?"

Nico chuckled. "Nope."

Percy sat back against the couch, deep in thought. There was silence for a minute. Then, he asked, "Wait- was it any one of those names with a "lyn" added to the end of it?"

Nico grinned. "Yes!"

Percy took a deep breath. "Alright, Brandy-lyn, Heather-lyn, Ch-"

"Tammy-lyn."

"FUCK!"

* * *

_People, let me tell you 'bout my best friend!_

_He's a warm-hearted person, who'll love me 'till the end..._

* * *

**A/N: Like it? I tried something different for this one. And even if it seemed like mindless immature chatter between the two...I hope there was a "deeper meaning", of some sorts. Like, inseperable friendship, something like that, like the song at the end suggested. **

**By the way, the song at the end is a hint to what movie three of the scenes come from. Whoever guesses it gets to select the topic of the next one-shot! Plus, the "every 25th reviewer" contest still stands, so review!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	18. Friends With Benefits

**A/N: Well, I got a request by review to do another chapter with the same format as the last one, and I'm pleased to announce that this is it!**

**It is a Percabeth chapter, because I just finished chapter four of The Analyst and that still doesn't have any Percabeth in it and I needed something for the Percabeth withdrawl. However, this is just as friends. They are dating, but the scenes won't have much fluff, just playful, flirty, bantering, which I think is one of the best parts of their relationship. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

"Again?"

"Uh..." the girl blushed, "Yeah, I...I forgot, that's it! I mean...I forgot. Where it was. So yeah."

Percy shrugged and pointed to a building not ten feet away from where they were standing. "It's over there."

"Th- thanks," she stuttered, walking away.

Percy turned around- and walked straight into his girlfriend, Annabeth, which he wouldn't have minded had she not had that look on her face. The one she had that said, "time to murder someone."

"Oh," he said, "Hey Annab-"

She drew her arm back and slapped him across the face. "OH?" she asked, "NOW YOU SAY HEY TO ANNABETH?"

Percy cradled his red cheek in his hand and cowered under the gaze of his girlfriend. "Um, I don't know what-"

She pointed to the brunette who'd just been talking to him. "What is the meaning of _that_?"

"_That_ is a person. Her name is-"

"DO YOU THINK I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HER NAME IS?"

Percy whimpered and tried to skirt around her, but to no avail. She would not be moved. "I really don't-"

"Was she flirting with you?"

"What? No!"

She scoffed. "Oh, like you could ever tell."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just tell me. What were you two doing?"

"She was just asking me where the snack bar was!"

Annabeth pointed to a large shack ten feet away from where they were, with a big sign out in front, hand-painted in bright green letters: SNACK BAR. "Really?"

"Yes!"

"She couldn't see it?"

"Maybe she's...I dunno, blind, or something."

"That's why she's watching a football game on the TV, right?"

"Maybe...she just couldn't see it! Honestly, she was just asking-"

"FOUR TIMES? REALLY?"

"Maybe she has...I don't know, Alzheimer's. Short-term memory loss. Something. Why else would she ask me where the snack bar was?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know. Maybe because you're a shirtless guy with a six-pack."

"Why would anyone care about that?"

She threw up her hands in frustration and stalked back to their towel. "I give up!"

Percy was considering telling her that the brunette was actually a nice girl, that she'd brought him on as her assistant in the school play and that all she wanted was his honest opinion when she was trying out various costumes for her lead role as Juliet- for some reason, though, he didn't think that would fly well with Annabeth.

* * *

Cough, cough.

Percy looked at his girlfriend, concern in his eyes. "Annabeth, are you- you don't look too good."

Even while sick, Annabeth knew how to give a death stare. She wiped her nose on her sweater and drew the blanket in tighter around her. "What ib- cough, cough- dab supposed da mean, Seaweed Braid?"

It was the cliche setting for a cheesy movie- Percy's parents were out of town on their honeymoon (which two wars deciding the fate of the world seemed to delay) during the Christmas holidays, and Annabeth had been invited over to the Jackson's to stay with Percy, falling sick the first day.

Except Percy didn't know quite what to do. Would the cheesy boyfriend thing be to climb next to her, cuddle her in his arms while watching Dear John and ignoring the fact that's he'd also be getting sick? For some reason, that didn't seem appealing to Percy.

Annabeth seemed to be laying the cheesiness on thick, though. Percy was sitting next to her on the couch, and she had Dear John in it's DVD box sticking out of the blanket at exactly the right angle that Percy could read the title if he looked at her face. There were conveniently placed tubs of cookie dough ice cream in the freezer, and a box of microwave lasagna already in the microwave. Plus, they were both in their pajamas. If this wasn't a setting for an extremely cheesy movie, Percy didn't know what was.

Percy sighed and succumbed to the cheesiness. After all, Amanda Seyfried wasn't too hard to look at.

He grinned and walked over to the kitchen, taking the lasagna out of the microwave and dividing it in half. He put the two tubs of ice cream on the countertop to thaw out while they ate their dinner, and he took the two steaming hot plates of food back to where Annabeth was sitting on the couch.

Ignoring the possible risk of catching Annabeth's illness, he snuggled under the covers with her and cued up the movie, dimming the lights as it started. If Annabeth liked the sudden arrangement, she didn't tell. They just watched.

An hour, two plates of lasagna, and two tubs of ice cream later (demigods eat fast), the movie was still not over and Percy put all the dishes in the sink, returning to sit on the couch next to Annabeth.

He'd already decided that Dear John was absolutely the dullest chick flick in the world, Amanda Seyfried wasn't that hot, and Annabeth was doing extremely weird things.

He thought that he was the expert on cheesy situations (at least, that's what Wikipedia told him), but apparently Annabeth was trying to drop hints that he needed to do more. Shivering under the blankets like she needed to warm up, taking minute-long stretches, leaning her head on his shoulder.

But when John and Savannah met up at the cafe at the end and the movie was over, Annabeth took charge. "Letters to Juliet."

"Another chick-"

"_NOW_."

Percy gulped and put in the movie, and the opening credits played as he sat back down on the couch.

Annabeth held out her arms. "Cuddle."

"Anna-"

"_NOW_."

* * *

Percy groaned and put his head in his hands. "You can't be serious."

Annabeth grinned and kissed him on the cheek. "Come on! Everyone does it!"

"I'm sure that _no one_ goes to The Nutcracker on a perfectly good Friday night!"

Annabeth glowered at her boyfriend. "Well, we are! So shut up or I'll (expletive)-"

Percy seemed a little shaken by Annabeth's death stare, but he stood his ground. "No! Face it- the Nutcracker is just a chick fantasy!"

"WHAT?!"

"There won't be a conscious male in the theater within an hour of the play's starting time!"

"Wanna bet!"

"NAME YOUR STAKES!"

"LOSER DOES DISHES FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH!"

"YOU'RE ON!"

Percy stalked off upstairs to grab his coat, and Annabeth looked at the ground, trying to find a way out of this.

"Annabeth?"

Nico di Angelo appeared out of the shadows, and Annabeth grinned to herself. Her way out had just arrived. "What's up, Nico?"

"Where's Percy? I gotta-"

Annabeth smiled sweetly and said, "We're going to the Nutcracker. Do you want to come?" but the way she said it, and by the look she shot Nico, it was more like "come or I'll make sure you can never have children."

Nico gulped. "Uh, sure. It's just that- well, Rachel took me for it once, and I-"

Annabeth drew him close to her and hissed in his ear, "Do as I say or I _will_ castrate you, understand?"

"Y- yes."

**Two hours later...**

"Has this ballet always been more than ten minutes long? Because when Rachel took me, well actually, it was more like forced me to come, but the way she forced me was cool, because the "virgin" Oracle thing was just a scam for Apollo so that he'd always have some chick to fall back on, and when we learned that, Rachel devised a way to convince me, and it was cool, so she forced me to come, but I fell asleep after like a few minutes, but it was totally worth it because I dreamed about how Rachel convinced me to come, and she used her-"

"Nico, shut up and finish your eleven cups of espresso."

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter written where it seems like I'm on crystal meth. Ah, well.**

**For the first two, I was thinking Percy and Annabeth would both be eighteen. For the third one, around twenty-four or so, already married.**

**Reviews would be appreciated! We're getting awfully close to the 75th reviewer...**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	19. Love and Other Drugs

**A/N: So I was flipping through the stuff on OnDemand for Fios, and then they played the trailer for "Love and Other Drugs". I mainly watched the movie because it had Jake Gyllehnaal (who's kinda cute but no match for Channing Tatum), but it seemed really funny, also. **

**I was considering biting off more than I could chew by turning that into an AU story, but it was too lemony and had a lot of M-rated stuff in it. So, instead, it's going to be a one shot, and I changed it up a lot, for those who may be angry that it doesn't correspond to the movie. The format is also unique.**

**Some mentions of sexual stuff, but nothing too descriptive. Also some cursing. And by the way, this is an AU.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or Love and Other Drugs**

* * *

Annabeth grinned and kissed her husband, moving slowly. "You got better at this slow type.."

He shrugged. "I dunno. I kinda feel...emasculated."

Annabeth sighed. "A naked girl is lying on top of you, and you feel...emasculated?"

"Little bit."

"You do know what that word means, right?"

"Of course I do! Why else would I use it?"

"Well, I can't say I didn't notice it either."

That got his attention. He slid off of her and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You heard me. I could barely even tell it was there!"

"That does not make me feel at all better!"

They sat on their bed in silence for a while before Percy sighed and threw on his jeans, padding out into the hallway to catch Monday Night Football. "Oh, by the way," he said, "I'm going on a business trip tomorrow. Remember?"

Annabeth nodded, doing the buttons on her shirt. "Yeah."

* * *

Percy groaned as the plane leveled out at it's cruising altitude of thirty-five thousand feet and the migraines started to come. He turned to his cousin Nico. "Fucking headaches. Glad this is the flight home after that goddamn business trip."

Nico shrugged. "Well, I'm glad I'm not getting them. the headaches, I mean. This first class shit is underrated, man!"

"Don't rub it in."

"I'm just saying."

They sat in silence for a while, and Percy rummaged around in his carry-on for his bottle of aspirin pills. Probably something he would regret later, he didn't bother having the bottle labeled. Just the plain orange translucent bottle with the white push-in, pull-out cap.

He sighed in relief as he pulled it out of his bag. Nico, who was currently typing on his laptop, turned to his cousin. "Hey, you know- I heard you were having a problem with Annabeth..."

Percy raised an eyebrow, temporarily forgetting about the pills. "Uh..."

"You know. In-"

"Okay, don't finish that sentence!"

"So is it true?"

Percy stared at the ground, seemingly unable to answer. "Uh...kinda?"

Nico grinned and puffed out his chest. "Well, you've come to the right man!"

Percy raised an eyebrow. "Keep talking."

Nico brought out another translucent orange pill bottle with a white push-in, pull-out cap. "It's called Viagra," he explained, "I invested in it a few months ago, and it just hit the shelves."

Percy nodded, interested. "But what does it _do_?"

"Well...it begins with "b" and ends with "oner.""

Percy grinned. That would be _exactly_ what he needed. "I want it."

"What will you give me for it?"

Percy frowned. "You're my cousin!"

"And you're my customer."

Obviously not happy about it, Percy forked over seven dollars and reached for the bottle. However, Nico was leaning forwards to give it to him at the same time, and Percy hit it in mid-exchange, causing it to fall to the ground, along with Percy's bottle of aspirin, which fell out of his lap when he leaned forwards to accept the bottle from Nico.

Percy's eyes widened. "Shit!" he said, getting down on his knees and swiping up the bottle that he thought was the aspirin.

Nico looked over at him, picking up the bottle he thought was the Viagra, and it was at that moment that they realized that maybe they should have labeled their bottles. "Umm...which one is which?"

"The fuck would I know?"

"I'm just saying!"

Percy sighed and sat back down in his seat, taking his bottle of water out of his carry-on. "Doesn't help that they're both white capsules."

Nico sat down, too. "What are you going to do?"

In answer, Percy popped open the cap and took out a pill. He sighed in relief, noting the small purple "A" in the middle of it. "This is the aspirin," he said, swallowing the pill with a little bit of water, "We're good."

His headaches didn't recede by five minutes later (which was understandable at the high altitude), but Percy was already drifting off to sleep. His last thought before succumbing to unconsciousness was-

_Wait. Since when was the"A" on the pill purple?_

* * *

When Percy woke up, the first thing he felt was an unfamiliar tightening in his pants. He grabbed his watch, noting that he'd been asleep for two hours of the two and a half hour flight. "FUCK!"

Nico, the only other first-class passenger on the plane, jolted awake. "What?"

Percy's cheeks flushed red, and he grabbed his suitcase, covering his groin area with it. But it was too late.

Nico's face broke out into a grin, and he fell off his seat laughing. "YOU...ASPIRIN...VIAGRA...BONER...HAHAHAHAHAH!"

Percy growled. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh at me."

Nico wiped a tear from his eye. "I think- hehe- I think you took the Viagra pill instead of the Aspirin."

"Oh, gee. I didn't fucking know that, Nico. Thanks for telling me."

Percy pulled out the bottle and took out another pill. "I knew it! Aspirin pills don't have a purple "A". They have a blue one."

He turned the pill upside-down, and voila! It was a "V".

Percy groaned and sat back in his seat. "How long do I have this boner?"

"Eight hours."

Percy swallowed, trying to make his ears pop. _Must be the altitude,_ he thought. "I'm sorry, my hearing's funny. I thought I heard you say it would last for eight hours."

When Nico didn't say anything, he laughed again, but nervously this time. "Um...it isn't eight hours long...right?"

When Nico still didn't answer-

"FUCK!"

Nico stifled another laugh. "Do you need anything?"

If looks could kill, Nico di Angelo would be mauled, vaporized, and sent adrift.

"YEAH, ICE. FUCKING ICE."

* * *

The next hour was an absolute _fucking_ nightmare.

It was extremely awkward to keep his suitcase over the front of his pants for the whole sixty minutes (not to mention Nico took his own sweet time getting his three suitcases from baggage claim), but finally, _finally_, they got to Nico's car and sped away from the airport.

Percy turned to his cousin. "I need to go to the hospital."

"What do you think they can do?"

"I don't fucking know! Something!"

"Fine. Hey, don't you think you should call Annabeth and tell her where you're going to be?"

Percy sighed and reluctantly pulled out his phone, dialing Annabeth's number. His wife was not one to be angered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Annabeth. It's me."

"Duh...I have caller ID."

"Did you get more sarcastic in the three days that I've been gone?"

"I don't know. It's midnight, why did you call me?"

"Just to let you know that I'll be home a little late today, alright?"

"Why?"

"Um...I'll tell you later. Bye!"

Without waiting for an answer, Percy ended the call and slipped his phone back into his pocket. "I fucking hate you."

"What? Why?"

"Because of _this_!" He pointed to his pants. "Why the fuck else?"

Nico stifled a laugh and concentrated on driving.

Thirty minutes later, they were only a few miles away from the hospital. Percy whimpered and looked down once again, to the bulge in his pants. "It's like a fucking frozen Popsicle!" he whined.

Nico chuckled. "Do you think they'll have to amputate-"

"Just shut the fuck up and drive already!"

"Alright, alright! Sheesh!"

Nico grumbled something about stupid stickshift cars as he reached his hand down to switch gears.

Percy yelped and leaped into the air. "OW! FUCK!"

"I'm sorry! I thought it was- I was just trying to change gears!"

* * *

Nico had lent Percy a hanky to cover the front of his pants with, and he was thoroughly indebted to it's existence. He didn't think he could've managed anyone looking at him. with a...like that.

Finally, _finally_, he made his way to the front desk and said. "Excuse me?"

The pretty brunette in the lab coat looked up at him. "Yes?"

"I'm having a...a drug reaction."

She nodded and brought out a clipboard. "Substance...abuser..."

He shook his head. "I'm not a junkie! It isn't...that kind of drug!"

She raised an eyebrow. "That's exactly what a junkie would say when stoned."

"I'm not stoned!"

"Then why are you holding a hanky over your pants?"

"I'm not fucking stoned, I told you!"

She sighed and leaned back in her chair. "What kind of drug, then?"

His face flushed red and he removed the hanky from the front of his pants, revealing the drug reaction. "Um...Viagra, I think."

It was the lady's turn to blush (even though she noted the ring on his finger). She smiled and said, "Well, nothing we can do about that, I'm afraid. How long ago did you take it?"

"Uh...four hours ago?"

"Well, you've got another four hours to go. I suggest you make the most of them."

And before he could decide what she meant by that, she was gone to help another customer, and he was left in a jeans and t-shirt with a hanky not covering the bulge in the front of his pants.

When he threw the door open to the car, Nico whistled. "Didn't think you'd still be a guy when you came back."

"Fuck you."

Nico smirked as he drove away. "So what are you going to do now?"

Percy grinned evilly. "I'm going to make the most of these last four hours."

"Oh, dear god. I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Remind me to never get married?"

* * *

Annabeth was lounging on the couch dressed in only her bra and underwear, eating a tub of Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream while watching The Vow for as long as it took to memorize every single ripple in Channing Tatum's abs.

It may seem weird, but this was what she did whenever her husband was out on a business trip. Not because she was some...weird person. Because it was just a fun thing to do.

It was two in the morning, and her thought process was muddled by the extreme saddness of the movie, so when her doorbell rang, of course she got up the way she was- scantily clad, chick flick playing on the TV, half-eaten tub of ice cream on the table.

By the time her brain turned back on, the door was already open and Percy was standing right in front of her, in jeans and a t-shirt (still holding his briefcase, though), and blinking hard, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Annabeth jumped back, face bright red. "Percy! Um...you're home..."

Percy grinned and closed the door, and that's when Annabeth noticed the bulge in his pants. "Umm..."

Still grinning, he took of his shirt and set down his briefcase. "Looks like you were expecting me," he said before closing the distance between them.

* * *

**A/N: Hope that was good! And sorry for not doing any updating of any sort the past three or four days!**

**More news: I will not be publishing my story "Hell and Back Again", I did get some PM messages about that, so I just wanted to clear that up. However, when I finish up both Dear Percy or 21 Jump Street, I'll tell you more about what I plan to do with that.**

**Second- I'm now obsessed with RachelxNico. Almost as much as Percabeth. And I will be doing a story of some sorts about them, inspired both by greenconverse's RachelxNico stories and Musafreen's ones, too.**

**Also, I like the idea of a contest thing, so I'm doing another one: Can anyone guess my name? That may seem like an unfair contest, but I've mentioned it definitely more than once in this story. Not the chapter, but the story. See if you can guess. :)**

**That's all for today, folks! Reviews would be greatly appreciated! Also, we're nearing the 75th reviewer!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	20. Six-Word Memoirs

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! More about the contest at the bottom.**

**So this is something we learned in school- conveying the whole message of a memoir in six words. The precedent was set when Ernest Hemingway was asked to do the same thing, and he came up with "For Sale: baby shoes, never worn."**

**I was originally going to write this whole piece in six-word sentences, but that would be too hard and wouldn't convey the message I wanted. So I just used it as the main topic. The whole thing is in Percy's POV, and they're all demigods. **

**This is one of the sadder ones, I guess, so be forewarned. Reviews would be awesome.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or six-word memoirs**

* * *

They day I died, that was the day my stepdad, Paul Blofis, taught us about six-word memoirs in IRLA class.

"Memoirs," he said, "are tricky things to craft, and even more impossible to master. They need to tell a story, yet they also need to have a moral. They need to have a literal account of an event, yet they also have to include foreshadowing and symbolism. They have to be meaningful, yet they have to be fun to read, too."

Of course, the whole class knew this, and we weren't really paying attention. The painstaking process of writing those torture devices teachers called "memoirs" had been something we'd gone over the past three weeks, and, quite frankly, we were getting sick of it. Whenever we wrote something that we actually thought was acceptable, we'd go back and read an actual memoir by an actual author, and get frustrated at how it was not as good as the published work.

I was no exception- at the moment, I was staring out the window, wondering what Annabeth would be doing at the time. She'd gone back to San Francisco to stay with her family during the school year, and I could only imagine how cold it was there- if it was snowy and minus ten here, it must have been Nico's heaven back where she was.

I had been finding myself fantasizing about Annabeth probably a lot more than was good for me or for anyone around me, but I had my reasons. I hadn't seen her since the summer of the Second Giant War, when she'd worked out a deal with the Olympians to oversee the rebuilding of Olympus during the summer and go to San Francisco for the school year. This resolved many issues- she'd get to see her family more, she'd actually get to focus on school instead of worrying about Olympus all day, she'd get to be home for once.

The one issue I had with the deal was that it put a three thousand mile gap between the two of us.

Sure, she wasn't happy about it either, but in the end we agreed that it was for the better. After all, this wouldn't be permanent- just the next few years, because by then we'd be adults. And we'd get to see each other every summer, when we came to camp. It was for the better, yes... but that didn't make it any easier to bear.

I was looking forwards to our daily Iris-Message (and the fact that I was in the last period of the day didn't help), so of course I deserved the wadded-up piece of paper thrown at my face. "Mind telling us what you were daydreaming about, Percy?"

I blinked and looked at the smiling face of Pau- er, Mr. Blofis. The three of us (me, my mom, and Paul) had agreed that it probably would be for the better if we didn't tell the kids in my class that I was Paul's stepson. It wasn't meant to make Paul feel left out, and I wouldn't have minded, except my classmates would probably tease me, and then I'd keep all my anger welled up inside of me until some idiot throws the straw that broke the camel's back and I end up in juvie. By that point, a "justifiable homicide" claim probably won't bail me out.

I shook my head. "It's nothing, Mr. Blofis."

"Well, it has to be _something_."

I gritted my teeth. I was going to get him at home for that. He knew _exactly_ what it was. "No, sir. Nothing."

"Alright, then." He gave me a small wink and turned back to the whiteboard.

I payed attention in class for the rest of the day, and found that if I did that, then some classes could be fun. Like, today, he challenged us to come up with as many six-word memoirs as we could. My ADHD head, hardwired for battle, was mostly full of violent thoughts, and I easily cranked out a few dozen in the remaining fifteen minutes.

**One Direction Antidote: Commence Justifiable Homicide.**

That was my favorite one. Certainly got a lot of laughs out of the guys. The girls, on the other hand, looked like they wanted to murder me. Ah, well. I didn't care. There was only one girl I needed to impress.

The rest of class went by really fast, and at the last minute before school was about to end, when all the kids were packing up their stuff and not listening to anything the teacher said, that's when I caught Mr. Blofis saying, "Make sure to practice your six-word memoirs every day!"

It was one of those things that teachers say for every single little thing they ever teach their kids, and one of those things that kids never do.

"Make sure to practice multiplying matrices every day!" "Make sure to practice the structural components of a hydrogen atom every day!" "Make sure to practice  
"to be" verbs every day! French doesn't come naturally to everyone, you know!"

Bitch please. Percy is a boss.

Notice the six-word memoir, there? Interesting story, how I managed to remember that one thing, out of all of the things I've ever been taught.

And then the bell rang, and it was absolute chaos (plus the fact that it was the Friday before winter break) until I found myself walking up the steps to my apartment.

I busied myself with throwing snowballs through a tire I hung from a tree in the apartment building's courtyard (nothing else seemed to calm my ADHD) for the agonizing three-hour wait for Annabeth to get out of school (sometimes I hated time zone differences), but, finally, I threw a golden drachma through some mist in my room from the snow outside at precisely 7:00 PM (4:00 PM where Annabeth was), and said, "O, Iris, Goddess of the Rainbow. Annabeth Chase, San Francisco!"_  
_

The Mist rippled and, sure enough, I saw Annabeth sitting at her desk, working furiously at some Algebra textbook. "Hey, Annabeth."

She yelped and leaped out of her chair, landing on her butt on the ground. I decided not to mention that she looked gorgeous like that, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, with her blonde ponytail in her face.

She glared at me and crossed her arms from the position on the floor. "I told you not to scare me like that!"

I grinned. "You should know by know when I Iris-Message you."

She bit her lip and walked over to sit down on her bed, and I could tell by the way she acted that there was something wrong. "So," she said halfheartedly, "What's up?"

I shrugged. "Nothing much. But you look worried. "What happened?"

She looked down at her bed and said the five words no one ever wants to hear. "I think we should break up."

Surprisingly, I didn't take it the way she probably thought I would. Probably because I was still cold and tired from the three hours I spent outside in minus ten degrees. I just sighed and sat down on my bed. "Why?"

She looked at me sadly. "I live in San Francisco, and you live in New York."

"So..."

She glared at me and stood up. "See, this is another thing! You're always so stupid! Why can't you ever understand anything on your own?"

I was surprised by the sudden outburst, and those words stung, deep down, but I refused to let it show. "So...just like that?"

She nodded. "It would be too difficult."

Now I tried reason. "Listen," I said, "Maybe you aren't thinking this through. We see each other every day through Iris-Message, then we're together for the whole summer, and that's only going to be for the next two or three years. Then we'll be adults, and-"

"And what?" she challenged, "Then we'll move in? You'll marry me?"

I looked at her, a little confused, "Well, if it wasn't already obvious...yeah."

She shook her head. "There's this guy in my school. He's nice, we see each other _in person_ everyday, and he isn't the stupidest, most oblivious person on the face of this earth!"

Looking back on it, I wouldn't comprehend how I didn't see what was right in front of me. "So..."

She gave an exasperated sigh. "So, I like him, not you!"

Those words stung even deeper than the first, if that was even possible. "But," I said, a little confused, "What about all the things we did? Together?"

She scoffed "Oh, right. Just because we've saved each other's lives for the past few years means I automatically have to love you."

Still leaving me extremely confused as to exactly what all that was about, she slashed her hand through the Iris-Message for the last time. Ever.

I never did get mad or angry at that, just confused. For all of winter break, I locked myself in my room, and (weirdly) I passed the time by writing six-word memoirs.

Adding to the irony of the situation, she called me back a week later.

"Hello?"

"Percy?"

"Oh. Annabeth."

"Oh, Percy! I missed you so much!"

"Yeah. Right. What do you want?"

She must have noticed the depressed tone of my voice, because she said, "Listen: that break up was all a hoax."

"You shitting me? Because it seemed pretty real to me."

"No- my mom wanted to test my loyalty to her, so she made do that. She's allowing us to be together again!"

I laughed, a dead, dry laugh. "But you thought it was real. You'd do something like that to someone who didn't deserve it just to please your mom."

"No, I-"

"I wasn't asking you. Just stating a fact."

"But- don't you see? She's letting us be together?"

"Let me get this straight- you loved me."

"Yes."

"You still love me."

"Yes."

"And you were prepared to ruin that to please your mom."

"I..."

And that's when I put the phone down.

For the first few months, she called every day. When Sally or Paul picked up, she'd just talk for a while and then call back the next day. Whenever she would Iris-Message, I'd listen to her begging me, then end it.

But that was five years ago.

I'd like to say I've moved on fully from that. And, if you'd look at me now, you would think I have.

But there's still a part of the gap that couldn't be filled, that probably will never be filled. The first time a breakup happens, it stings more than, say, the second time, because you're still new at it, and, one day, you're all smiling and happy, and the next, you're wondering what the heck happened. But the first time you find what you thought to be true love, only to have it blow up in your face- there's always going to be a part of you that's missing, cheesy as it sounds. That's the kind of wound that will never heal.

It isn't fair, it definitely isn't. And I would have been happy if she didn't go for that whole break-up hoax thing, which, for all I know, could have been fake itself. But that's not where I am now. There are a lot of things you learn when you become an adult, and one of them is that, in life, you play with the hand you're given, because that's all you've got.

Sure, I definitely could have agreed to her begging for us to be together again. But would it have been the same? No. Because that wasn't the hand of cards that I had. I had a different hand, and whether I liked it or not, I'd moved on. You can't exchange a hand of cards as you please. And in life, going back isn't an option.

I'm still single. My hand says I've moved on, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her.

Paul told us to practice six-word memoirs that day, and I guess that I only remembered it because that was the day I died. I still do them, and I try to come up with a new one every day, to help me get through it. Like, "Why is my boss so stupid?", or "Jets and Giants lost again. Bummer."

I do have a favorite one, though. It's not something I came up with just for the day. This one took longer to make a reality, longer to develop, longer to accept.

"I still make coffee. For two."

* * *

**A/N: Depressing, I know. I hope it made you cry, because it definitely made me cry every time I proofread it.**

**I promised more about the contest, and here it is: The winner was I-Was-Born-To-Be-Somebody. YAY! However, he/she reviewed on the 29th of September, and the contest rules state that you have to reply within a week. So, if he/she doesn't reply with his/her idea by October the fourth, 2012, then monkeyjoe is the winner of the contest. Got that?  
**

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	21. Friendship

**A/N: I'm having kind of a brain fart/ writer's block moment with the reviewer-requested chapter, so that'll come after this one. This is just something I thought would be cool to do.**

**Yes, this is a Prachel, but ONLY FRIENDSHIP! I am team Percabeth all the way, so this is just friendship.**

**Just some stats, if you care:**

**The Gods Must Be Crazy**

**20 Chapters**

**75 Followers**

**54 Favorites**

**82 Reviews**

**And...**

**21, 599 Views**

**O.O**

**OH. MY. GODS.**

* * *

"You wouldn't happen to have a spare ponytail holder on you, would you?"

Percy Jackson groaned and slammed his locker shut, hearing and looking at the sight he didn't think he'd see for ten months. He leaned against his locker. "Rachel, what are you doing here?"

She shrugged and assumed the same position he was in, except against the wall opposite him. "I go to your school, remember?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But what?"

"I didn't really think of you as... a student here. For some reason."

"You didn't remember me?"

He shrugged. "Not at school, anyway."

"What about the time you were attacked by seductive demon cheerleaders?"

He looked around and hissed. "Just announce it to the world, why don't you? All kinda of monsters could-"

She shrugged again. "Okay." Then she raised her voice and pointed to him. "THIS KID FIGHTS MONSTERS FOR A LIVING!"

No one turned their heads.

Percy groaned again. "Deja- freaking-vu."

She smiled and walked over to him. "So back to my question- do you have a ponytail holder?"

He started walking to his class, trying (and failing) to shake her off his tail. "Why would I have a ponytail holder?"

She shrugged. "Don't you and Annabeth get to, like, third base every day? You'd have a lot of her clothes then, right?"

Percy's face flushed a bright shade of red. "No! We don't- I mean, not since...I mean..."

Rachel smiled again, almost sympathetically. "Don't feel too pressured. Since I'm, like, a virgin? I have to rely on other people for my...sexual information."

"So basically, you creep on other people's private lives using your powers to tell the future."

She blew a stray bang out of her face and glared indignantly at him. "I do not!"

"Are you sure?"

"Well...I don't do it much..."

Percy checked his schedule. "I've got Math first. What about you?"

She grinned and linked her arm in his. "I've got Math, too!"

They compared schedules and found that (yippee!) they had all the same classes. "Awesome!" she exclaimed.

As Percy put it..."FMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFML!"

As it turned out, though, he realized that Rachel Elizabeth Dare wasn't exactly a bad person to have as your best friend. She had that natural, get-in-my-face-and-i'll-punch-yours New York attitude, and she was nice, pretty, and easy to talk to. Not that he'd ever tell Annabeth.

Any awkwardness that had developed between them over the summer at camp (mainly as a result of Annabeth wanted to rip her guts out) was gone by the time Technology ended and the two walked to lunch, laughing and talking (hand-in-hand, though they didn't realize or care).

"And then-" Rachel giggled, "-he asked me out!"

They collapsed into laughter as they entered the cafeteria and plonked their stuff down at a table. "Wow," said Percy, shaking his head, "what did you do?"

"Well, I said that if he didn't get back to the Ares cabin in five seconds, I'd chop his balls off, deep-fry them, and-"

"Okay, I don't need to hear the rest of that."

As they got into the lunch line, Rachel noticed a few girls shooting jealous looks her way, which was something new to her.

Sure, she once had a major fangirl crush on Percy, but, unlike most girls her age, she wasn't too cowardly to admit it. It was a long time ago, and while she still thought he was good-looking, she wasn't romantically interested in him. He was one of her best friends.

Though, it _was_ fun to start worrying about normal mortal things like high school relationships.

Lunch and the next three periods passed by fairly quickly, and, before they knew it, they parted to their separate lockers for the trek home. One day of school down, one hundred seventy-nine left to go.

He had just finished backing up his bag and was about to close his locker when-

"You never answered my question."

Percy whirled around. "God dammit, Dare, don't sneak up on me like that!"

She smirked. "First answer my question."

"No, I do not have a ponytail!"

"Why?"

Percy threw his arms up in frustration. "Because I'm a freaking guy!"

Rachel rolled her eyes and smacked a piece of gum. "I'll expect you to have come up with a ponytail and a better excuse at Starbucks by four," she said , walking past him to where the buses were.

He stared at her, uncomprehendingly. "Are you asking me out?"

She turned around and shot him a death glare. "Is there a...problem?"

He swallowed and reflexively stood up straighter. It was definitely quite unnerving that the two most terrifying women in his life had not only come to be best friends, but could both unfairly control him with their infamous death glares. "Um, n- no, it's just that...I have a girlfriend...and you've sworn off boys...so, yeah," he finished lamely.

Rachel rolled her eyes again. "About me swearing off boys...you really expect me to follow that? Do I look like some kind of girl who just does what some guy tells her to do?"

_Safe answer, _thought Percy. "No."

"Good. And I wouldn't break my oath for _you_."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She turned around and called over her shoulder. "Meet me at the Starbucks at four! Don't be late!"

Percy groaned and slammed his locker shut, hoisting his bag onto his shoulder. "Man, girls are _weird _these days!"

Then, as an afterthought, he said to himself-

"You know what it is? Glee. Fuck you, Glee."

* * *

**A/N: Just my protest against people who like Glee. By the way, no offense if you do.**

**I just wanted to write this to clear up some facts: I'm not a Rachel hater, in fact, she is one my fav characters in the book. I get the whole Prachel vs Percabeth thing, but that didn't work out, so people should stop ragging on her. One of the things I hate the most is when people turn Rachel into a selfish, slutty, bitch. That just...angers me, for some reason. Grrr. Be afraid.**

**Anyways, I'm working on the viewer-requested chapter, so that'll be up next! REVIEW!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	22. My Annoying Twin

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, and the people who agreed with me about the whole Rachel thing.**

**Well, it's certainly been hard for me to crank out the reviewer-requested chapter, and this isn't it. That one's got me at a writer's block, but expect it to be posted in the next two or three days.**

**Nevertheless, I found a good excuse to write this- I've been meaning to write this one for a long time, but I never got around to it. It's an Artemis/Apollo sibling fic.**

**I originally got obsessed with Apollo after I read the Titan's Curse, because I was envisioning this insanely hot guy who looks exactly like Channing Tatum... OMFG! THEY SHOULD GET CHANNING TATUM TO PLAY APOLLO IN THE TITAN'S CURSE MOVIE! THAT WOULD MAKE MY LIFE!**

* * *

As her brother traveled across the sky, the goddess of the moon stared up as he passed by her, honking his Maserati Spyder twice, signaling hello.

She shook her head bitterly and looked at the ground. Over two thousand years, and she _still_ hadn't gotten over..._him_. She didn't dare to say his name out loud, why, she was not sure, and there were not many things Artemis wasn't sure of.

"Whatup, Sis? How's my homedawg doing?"

She clenched her teeth and turned around to see her wannabee ghetto brother standing a few feet behind, looking at the same pond she'd been looking at, in the middle of the forests of Alaska. "What is it, Apollo?"

His face fell a little bit at that, and Artemis did feel a little bad at her harsh tone. _But,_ she reminded herself, _he killed him. That is an unforgivable act._

Apollo shrugged, and through his trademark cocky grin, she could see what he'd been hiding- a mixture of depression, remorse, guilt, and regret, among other things. "Nothing. Just wanted to see how you were doing."

Artemis didn't answer, just continued to glare at him.

Apollo heaved a big sigh and stepped forwards uncertainly, putting his hands on his twin sister's shoulders. And while he would never admit it out loud, yes, they _were_ twins. "I...I just don't get why you're still mad at me, Artemis."

She growled and wrenched herself free of his grasp. "You," she hissed, "don't get why I'm mad at you?"

"It was two thousand years ago!"

"Every day for those two thousand years I still thought about it!"

"And every day for those two thousand years I've killed myself for doing it!"

Artemis blinked. She wasn't expecting that. "How do you expect me to believe that?"

Apollo sighed and sat down on a rock, head in his hands. "I was jealous, okay? I'd been spoiled up until then. I could get any girl I wanted, my dad was proud of me, I was the god of so many things that were important to the world, I had the best sister any guy could ask for-" he looked up at Artemis, sudden tears threatening to spill over his eyes, "-and then when he came, I thought I was going to lose you. I wasn't used to not getting things I wanted."

Artemis's gaze was steely. "That doesn't excuse anything."

"I just- I just didn't want your heart to be broken when he died."

"So you killed him? That defeats the purpose, don't you think?"

Apollo got up from the rock. "I didn't want you to know what it felt like. To love someone, have them love you back, and then have them leave you."

Artemis was starting to get irritated with her hypocritical brother. "Do you know what it feels like to hold the hand of someone you love who's dying, and you tell them it's going to be okay when you know it isn't and there isn't anything you can do?"

Apollo was silent, and Artemis continued, angry now. "You know what, I don't care! I wish you do, Phoebus Apollo!" the only time she used anyone's full name was when she was _mad_. And you did _not_ want to be around Artemis when she was mad. "I wish that fate upon you! I cur-"

Apollo stood up and kissed his sister on the cheek. "I'm immortal. You can't curse me. Plus, you don't mean that."

"How do you-"

"You don't. I know you."

And then the hate fueling her died away, and Artemis turned away from her brother to hide her tears. "Just- just go, Apollo! I want to be alone."

Apollo got up and turned his sister around, wiping the tears off her cheeks. "Shh..." he said, "it's okay to cry. You don't always need to be the tough one. You don't always need to keep all your feelings inside."

She wouldn't say it, but that was probably the best poetry he'd said in his two thousand years- the god of poetry was at his best when he was naturally speaking, and now, Artemis saw past the immature aspects of her brother and got to the truth- he wasn't half bad.

She wiped the rest of the tears from her eyes and gave him a weak smile. "Do not speak of this to anyone."

"You could visit him, you know."

Artemis blinked. "Who? Orio...him?"

Apollo smiled, a real smile, not his playboy cocky grin. "Say his name, Artemis. That's the first step."

"To what?"

"Moving on."

Artemis's rebellious nature was screaming at her to change the subject, but she took over that part of her and said, in a breathy whisper. "O- Orion."

Apollo nodded. "Like I said. You could visit him. I talked to my cousin."

"Which one?"

"That son of Hades? Nico di Angelo? He says that his dad can get you an All-Access pass to Elysium."

Artemis shook her head. "You want me to move on, right? I can't. But maybe some other day, when I've moved on, I'll go."

Apollo shrugged. "Now that I've put the thought in your head, I know you're going to do it. But," he said threateningly, "if he even _tries_ to make a pass at you-"

"Really, Apollo?" Artemis couldn't help laughing, "he's dead!"

"Well, even if he was alive, I'd still give him the "twin brother interrogation". Make sure he was one of the few people good enough for my little sister."

He tilted his head to the side and looked at Artemis, then shook his head. "Never mind. No one's good enough for my little sister." he held out his arms.

Artemis smiled and stepped into them, wrapping her arms tightly around his back, which seemed to have caught Apollo off guard, but he responded by doing the same to her, and her world was a thousand times better than how it was ten short minutes ago. "I'm not your little sister, you pigheaded idiot."

Apollo patted her on the back. "Whatever you say, Arty. Whatever you say."

* * *

**A/N: Hope that turned out okay.**

**The reviewer-requested chapter is next!**

**I've always viewed Apollo as a guy who's made a few mistakes, and tries so hard to get everyone to like him, but no one does. I've always felt sorry for the guy. **

**Anyways, reviews would be greatly appreciated! And I know this isn't a Percabeth fic, but I felt like it needed to be done.**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	23. Global Warming and Realizations

**A/N: More about the contest at the bottom.**

** I have two bits of news: first, this isn't the reviewer-requested chapter, but I swear on the River Styx that the next one will be!**

***thunder booms overhead***

*****MARK OF ATHENA SPOILER ALERT! WHEN YOU GET TO THE PART OF THE STORY WHERE IT SAYS "ANNABETH, PIPER, AND HAZEL" IN PERCYS INNER MONOLOGUE, SKIP THE REST OF THE PARAGRAPH! MARK OF ATHENA SPOILER ALERT!*****

**This was just something that popped into my head when we were discussing global warming in school yesterday.**

**The second piece of news-**

**OH. EM. FUCKING. GEE.**

**WE HIT ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS! AHHHHH!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

"So," said Annabeth, pointing to a red-colored region on a map in Percy's Social Studies textbook, "every few thousand years or so, the earth experiences a period of global temperature increase, which, in turn..."

Percy frowned. Not because he didn't understand what she was saying (as a matter of fact, he wasn't even paying attention), but because the favorite lock of her golden blonde hair that he like to play with- the leftmost one out of the few that dangled in front of her face when she bent down- was tied up in a ponytail.

_Hmmph, _he thought, _stupid ponytail!_

Without thinking, he reached up to undo the ponytail holder.

Annabeth jerked her head back and slapped him in the arm. "Perseus Jackson!"

Percy blinked. "Um...32 inches?"

Annabeth crossed her arms.

"32 inches...squared?"

"..."

"Cubed?"

Annabeth sighed and glared at him. "You weren't even listening, were you?"

Percy gulped. "Ah...well..."

"You weren't."

"Was not!"

"You just proved my point."

Percy frowned again. "No," he said slowly, "I said "was not" to "weren't", so, therefore, I said "weren't was not", or "weren't not". "Weren't" and "not" cancel each other out, so it just became "was", which means I was listening to you."

Annabeth groaned and sat back down on the bed next to her boyfriend. "This is hopeless," she muttered. She turned to Percy. "Why were you feeling me up? Your mom's in the kitchen, you know."

Percy's face flushed red. "I wasn't feeling you up, it was just your hair!" he protested, "I was just trying to- oh, never mind! You're a girl, they don't understand."

The second those words came out of his mouth, he regretted it.

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "What could you possibly mean by that?"

"I didn't mean-"

Annabeth inched closer to him, but it wasn't the affectionate sort of inch. It was the "you-have-five-seconds-to-live" sort of inch. "What _could_ you possibly mean by that?"

"Annabeth, I-"

"Were you being sexist?"

"What? No!"

"Yes, I think you were."

"No, I wasn't!"

"Oh, really?"

Percy's eyes darted around wildly for something to use as self-defense, when, suddenly, he remembered something he learned in school a few days ago. And it pertained to global warming. That _had_ to earn him some good-boyfriend points...right?

He turned his head and closed his eyes, sticking his arms out, waiting for the impact that he hoped he could prevent. "Wait!"

Annabeth slowed. "What?"

He began to speak rapidly. "Last week in school my teacher said that global warming is caused people burning holes in the ozone layer through air pollution, and our whole class agreed on the fact that global warming was because something was wrong with the earth, that is, something is wrong with what's on the earth, which is the people, and so we agreed that something was wrong with the earth, but then I had an intellectual moment: what if global warming isn't because something is wrong with the earth? What if it's because something's wrong with the sun?"

Annabeth paused in mid-punch, speculating what he'd just said. "Hmmm...you could be right, as a matter of fact..."

Percy inched around her so that he was out of range of her deadly fist. "Yeah," he said, "what if Apollo's just getting...I dunno. Lazy, or something?"

Annabeth shrugged. "Well, that saved you from a one-way trip to Tartarus," and she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

Percy would have liked to describe the few moments following that as sudden flashes of realization- the truth, however, was quite different. He didn't know how to explain it, but his best shot was that it was similar to watching the waves recede at the beach and finding a treasure trove of seashells- you knew they were there; you just couldn't see them.

What happened to him was similar to that- he supposed that all the answers had been waiting for him for a while and he'd just been too oblivious to find them out. But the last piece of the puzzle fit in, and he could finally see the whole picture; though he could see most of it before, the one piece made a world of difference.

Oh, gods. Percy was in _love_.

When Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel were helping Annabeth find the Mark of Athena in Fort Sumter, he'd helped them out of a tight spot by throwing Octavian and his two cronies into the pond, then stepping out of it and giving Annabeth her dagger. Annabeth had then thrown her arms around his neck and said, "I love you!"

Of course, he'd first thought that it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, because, after all, they were in a race against time to save Nico di Angelo and close the Doors of Death, but now he wasn't so sure.

He remember having the same spur-of-the-moment thought after the chariot race in his second year at camp, where she'd kissed him on the cheek. He dismissed that as spur-of-the-moment, and then, at Hephaestus's forges two years later, he told himself that she'd kissed him because she thought he was going to die. But then, all his explanations had turned out to be false after the Titan War, when Annabeth basically punched him in the gut and said, "I like you, you dumb Seaweed Brain. Now kiss me!"

The point was, he had a history of dismissing thoughts that he thought were insignificant, only to have them come back to bite him in the ass. Her saying she loved him, he thought, using past experience as an example, may not have been just a filler for the space. She might have actually meant it.

Which brought him back to his next point. He was in _love_.

He must have been staring at Annabeth for a while, because she looked around, cheeks a little pink, and said, "Um...what are you staring at?"

"You," he replied simply.

"Uh...why?"

He could hold himself back no more, and he jumped on top of her, tackling her to the bed and peppering her face with kisses. When he was done, he drew her in for a tight hug.

Annabeth's face was now a dark shade of red. "Um, Percy?"

"What?"

"What are you doing?"

Percy looked at her, grinned, and hugged her tighter. "Just hugging my girlfriend. I can do that, right?"

"Well," she said, "yeah, but you usually don't do it without having a reason. Like-"

"You want my reason? I'm in love."

"_What?_"

"You heard me."

"Oh! Um, well...uh, you see...um, I..."

"Ugh! And you say that _I'm_ the oblivious one."

* * *

**A/N: Had to write that one, it just popped into my head spontaneously. That happens to me a lot.**

**Hmm. I'm surprised no one got the name of the movie that PercyxNico friendship chapter came from. The "Thunder Buddies" song, the "engagement ring" one, and the "white trash name" one (no offense! It was from the movie!) came from "Ted". **

******ChristieLaurenn was the lucky hundredth reviewer (and the 99th, and the 98th, and the 97th, and the 96th, and the 95th, and the 94th, and the 93rd, and the 92nd, and the 91st), so just PM me your requested one shot topic, and I'll write it up! I promise you it won't take as long as this one. Sorry about that!**

**Anyways, I had to get this down on paper before I lost it from my head. And the reviewer-requested chapter will be next, I promise!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	24. The Goddess

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

**ChristineLaurenn was the review contest winner, so if you just PM me with your request, I'll write it up for you! The only requirement is that you have to PM me within the week and it can't be anything M-rated.**

**This is the reviewer-requested chapter, as requested by I-Was-Born-To-Be-Somebody. I know the prompt you gave me, and I probably botched the whole idea here, but I hope it didn't come out _too_ bad...maybe?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

Percy Jackson sighed and stepped over the threshold, into his new school, which he would probably only go to for a year. Less, if he was lucky. He snorted as he looked up and noted the black and gold letters on the banner, accompanied by the head of a tiger. "It's all Good in Goode High!"

This would be his sixth school in as many years, and most people, upon hearing that, would immediately form a mental picture in their heads of a juvenile delinquent with guns and drugs stashed in his pockets- however, five minutes in the same room as Percy would correct those stereotypical jerks.

Percy was a nice kid; he just had a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. For example, in eighth-grade Chemistry, some wise guy had decided to throw together two chemicals that the teacher had told them _never_ to mix together, and it happened to end with half the Science room in ashes. Since Percy was the last person out the door (only to prevent a candle from falling over, thereby burning down the whole school), the police and the principal immediately set the blame on him.

And in fifth grade (the year the whole "getting kicked out of school" thing started), his math teacher slipped on a banana peel and broke her collarbone. Since she was a b- a mean person who's one goal in life was to get Percy into as much trouble as she could, even if he didn't deserve it, she told the principal that Percy threw it, and the rest, as they say, was history.

Being nice is a quality that made Percy likeable, too, and not one kid or teacher in the school (except for that one fifth grade math teacher) could deny that they missed having him around. He'd dealt with his share of bullies, which automatically made ninety percent of the school like him, and a few times, some kids had protested to the school to keep Percy, but when presented with the facts that coincidences didn't happen as often as they did with Percy (though that was _exactly_ the story), they seemed to have lost their leverage.

He had unruly black hair that had to be swept out of his eyes a lot, and once he'd do that, that was when his sea-green orbitals would show and whoever was in front of him would catch their breath and quite possibly lose themselves in his eyes for a few moments, before shaking their head and walking away, wondering what the heck had happened, and wanting to know more about why.

Because of this, he was a chick magnet (and the fact that he was a passionate swimmer didn't help that fact; his body was pretty much toned to perfection), but he'd probably never know it. He was one of those oblivious guys that can make girls tear their hair out in frustration over him and not know the effect he can have on them.

Not aware of the fact that he was surrounded by whispers of girls who were slightly red in the face, he entered the school and turned right, pushing open the tall, wooden door with the sign above it, reading "Main Office."

Immediately, he was greeted by the greater of the two evils commonly known as "types of school secretaries". There's either the old, sweet ones who talk as if the person they're talking to is two years old, and there's the ones who treat all kids as if they has much better things to waste their time on then them. Naturally, Percy got the second kind.

She snapped her gum and peered at him over her glasses. "Yes?"

Percy gave her a small smile. "I'm Percy Jackson," he said, "And-"

The secretary cut him off. "Yes, we know who you are. I wouldn't be surprised if any school _doesn't_ know who you are, given your track record-" Percy gritted his teeth, stopping himself from an angry outburst, "-and we've assigned a buddy to show you around the school. She's got a locker right next to yours, and all classes with you, so you should be fine."

Well. How's that for a welcome greeting? No "hello", no "you're going to do fine", not even an "It's always Good in Goode!"

And at that moment, the most gorgeous girl Percy had ever seen in his life walked through the door.

To the tweenage or adult observer, she'd be deemed as normal. Blonde hair tied back into a ponytail, stormy gray, calculating eyes.

But through the hormone-fueled eyes of a teenage boy, she was like a goddess. Only someone like Percy would notice the effortless yet somehow perfect way her hair was tied up in said ponytail. Only someone like Percy would notice how those eyes seemed to bore into his soul yet appear so friendly. Only someone like Percy would notice how she had a sort of halo surrounding her, and how-

"Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Crilley!" the goddess spoke, hurriedly smoothing down her hair and clothes while sneaking nervous glances at Percy, though Percy didn't know why she was looking at him like that, nor did he see anything wrong with her clothes, "It's just that-"

Mrs. Crilley sighed. "It's okay, Miss Chase. I expect you to be a good tour guide to Mr. Jackson here."

The goddess nodded and grabbed Percy's hand, calling over her shoulder, "Don't worry!" as the door slammed shut.

She breathed a sigh of relief as they got out of the secretaries' earshot and turned to Percy. "Sorry about that," she said with an apologetic smile.

Confused, Percy asked, "What?"

She looked at him for a second and spoke slowly, as if she was talking to a kindergartner. "Those girls in the office," she said, "you didn't see them?"

Percy scratched the back of his head and said, "I guess there were some girls there," he vaguely recollected, but then shrugged, "I dunno. They were just sitting there, I guess."

Annabeth raised an eyebrow as they turned right down a long hallway. "You didn't realize how they were staring at your- oh, never mind," she huffed, still straightening her hair down and sneaking worried glances at Percy, as if he could only see her after she finished with her hair, which he still saw as flawless.

Annabeth groaned as some guy caught sight of her and started making his way across the hall, a giddy look on his face. "Ignore him," she said to Percy, "a lot of guys in the school like to stalk me. I haven't figured out why yet."

Percy looked at her with disbelief. "You serious? You don't know why-" and that's when the guy caught up to them.

Completely ignoring Percy, he went up to Annabeth and, rather forcefully, grabbed her hand. "Bethy!" he said, swinging her arm up and down, and by the look in her eyes, Percy could tell that "Bethy" was something she'd prefer not to be called. "I haven't seen you since last year!"

"And what a summer it's been," Annabeth muttered. Louder, she said, "Just leave me alone, Luke."

Luke had sandy blonde hair and electric blue eyes, and he shrugged off her request. "So, you free this afternoon? Because I can-"

"Luke, can you please leave me alone?"

"I'm free this whole afternoon. We can-"

Percy saw that Annabeth was about to blow up at Luke, so he stepped in. "Hey," he said, "Annabeth said she wanted to be left alone. So just leave her alone, man."

Luke looked at Percy and his grin fell, replaced by a smirk. "What have we here?" he snickered, rubbing his hands together. His expression changed to exasperation and he stuck out a hand to shove Percy away. "Just get away from me, you idiot."

Percy, having had many an experience with bullies like that, simply sidestepped and walked around Luke to fall into step next to Annabeth, and Luke accidentally pushed a teacher. The last they saw of him before they rounded a corner was of him shooting Percy a murderous glare while being yelled at.

Annabeth shot Percy a thankful smile. "Thanks," she said, "he was really getting on my nerves."

Percy shrugged and smiled back. "Don't mention it. I've met a lot of other kids like that before, in the past-" he stopped himself, not wanting to tell her about all the schools he's gotten kicked out of, "-well, before."

Cheeks reddening a little (though Percy didn't for the life of him know why), she continued. "Well, your locker is right next to mine, in the-"

Percy zoned out for the rest of the day, thinking mainly about the goddess showing him around the school, and how this was going to be a problem.

* * *

**One month later...**

Percy was lucky that the school allowed its students to listen to their ipods during homeroom- because if they didn't he'd probably go crazy, for no reason but that it was the beginning of the school day and the beginning of the school day was so depressing that music was required.

Suddenly, the sweet perfection of OneRepublic was snatched from his ears and he whirled around. "What the f-" when he saw it was Annabeth, glaring down at him, he changed course. "-fun thing I did yesterday, it was so-"

Annabeth sighed and sat down in the desk next to him. They'd become good friends ever since the first day of school, mainly because all their classes were together and so were their lockers. But Percy had quickly found out another thing about Annabeth- the dumb blonde rule applied to everyone except for Lisa Simpson and her, and that was saying a _lot_.

She'd long ago earned a reputation at the school's hottest girl (though she didn't know it, which infuriated Percy because she always tried to improve how she looked and Percy didn't know how to tell her she looked just fine the way she was without revealing that he had developed a crush on her) and a complete nerd, and Percy didn't know how much more he could take of being friends with a nerd that gorgeous. He'd have to do something about that, and soon, but what that something was...well, he was still unsure about that part.

Annabeth was saying, "There's a Geography test today, and I'm assuming you haven't studied?"

Percy slumped down in his seat. "Annabeeeeeeth," he whined, "Geo is so freaking _easy_."

"Capital of Oklahoma?"

"Oklahoma City."

"Capital of New York? You should know-"

"Easy. New York City."

"Capital of...South Dakota?"

"Ah...South Dakota City?"

"You're hosed."

Percy huffed and crossed his arms. "What's your point?"

"My _point_," she said, opening her bag and bringing out her Geography textbook," is that you've got fifteen minutes before homeroom is over. Fifteen minutes that should be spent studying."

_Man,_ Percy thought as he reluctantly opened the book and prepared for fifteen minutes of Annabeth grilling him on things he didn't care about, _if she wasn't so damn hot..._

* * *

**One month later...**

Annabeth shrugged. "Okay."

Inside, Percy was screaming curses, punctuated by the occasional, "NOOOOOOO!"

Luke smiled and shot Percy a smug grin as he walked away after setting up a date with Annabeth, the one girl that Percy wanted guys to stay away from. Why, oh why was Fate so cruel to him?

Okay, maybe he was over exaggerating. But still! WHY?

"Never thought Luke was your type," he said as he and Annabeth walked down the hall to their next class, Science.

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "Why do you care?"

"Because you're my best friend."

"I didn't care when you agreed to a date with Savannah. And dumped her on the first day."

Percy shrugged. "She wasn't my type, but I had to give her a fair shot, at least," he said dismissively, "but this is different! Luke's a jerk, and you know it!"

Annabeth sighed. "I'm just giving him a chance, Percy. Maybe he'll turn out to be a big Teddy Bear on the inside?"

Percy thought that was the biggest load of crap he'd ever heard, but he didn't know how to express it without either offending Annabeth or admitting that he had a crush on her, which is like every boy's nightmare.

* * *

**The day before Christmas break...**

Percy knew something was wrong when Annabeth plonked down in the seat next to him in homeroom.

Of course, anybody would've known something was wrong by simply looking at the buckets of tears rolling down her cheeks. But Percy's first clue was that he arrived at homeroom before she did. And _no one_ beat Annabeth to a class. Ever.

Rachel Elizabeth Dare, one of both Annabeth and Percy's best friends, looked over to Percy with a worried look, but he just shook his head. He would deal with this alone.

He walked around Annabeth's desk and sat next to her, making her move over a little. He moved to give her a hug, but she unexpectedly put her head on his chest and cried, wrapped her arms tightly around his stocky, well-built frame.

Annabeth never was a big crier, which made the situation even worse than it already was, but Percy dried her tears with his sleeve and she wiped her nose, recovering to normal after a few minutes.

"Who do I decapitate?" was Percy's question.

Annabeth looked at him and sniffled. "What?"

"For doing this to you. Especially the day before Christmas break."

Annabeth laid her head back on his chest. "Luke..." she said softly, "he broke up with me."

A lower person would've been feeling giddily happy upon hearing that, but Percy just felt blazing anger at Luke. For hurting Annabeth ."What?!"

She shook her head worriedly. She knew that Percy's biggest drawback was loyalty, which wasn't even much of a drawback in and of itself, but with Percy it was accompanied by seething anger and recklessness. A situation like the one he was in could very likely prove to be fatal for Luke. "Percy, don't do anything rash-"

But Percy was already out the door.

He made his way over to Luke's locker (where he was making out with his new girlfriend of the week) and threw her off him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and slamming him against the locker. "What the _hell_?" he hissed.

Luke tried playing dumb. "I- I don't know what you're talking about."

Percy drew his fist back and socked Luke in the chest, making him draw in a breath. People were turning their heads. "You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about, you piece of shit. It's about Annabeth."

He glared at Percy, who released his shirt hold. "We just weren't working out! I-"

"Don't give me that crap," Percy interrupted, and Luke knew to drop the act, because Percy had made it clear on the first week of school that he wasn't one to be messed with, "how many times did you cheat?"

"I didn't-"

"What did I say about giving me that crap?"

A crowd had started to form, and most of them (including Luke) must have known that Luke didn't stand a chance against Percy. And besides; everyone already knew the answer to Percy's question about Luke cheating. He did it a lot.

Both Percy and Luke knew it was best to avoid a fight, so they just gave each other one last cold glare and turned away in opposite directions to their separate homerooms.

Percy plonked down in his seat, still seething. Annabeth looked at him. "What did you do to Luke?"

Percy looked at her. "Nothing. Which was way less than he deserved, the little son of a-"

The bell rang, drowning out his profanity, and Percy sighed, gathering his stuff for first period. The dilemma over how to tell Annabeth what he was feeling without telling her _all_ of it- including the mega huge crush he had on her- was still a big problem for him. How would he do it?

* * *

**Valentine's Day...**

The sight of them all made Percy sick to his stomach.

"Them" did not refer to the thirteen boys who had hit on Annabeth that day (and no, Percy wasn't counting) with lame Valentine's Day gifts.

"Them" referred to the gifts themselves- giant teddy bears with hearts instead of stomachs, love letters, boxes of chocolates- the list was endless. About as endless as his jealousy streak, because Annabeth received each and every one of them with a smile and a "thank you", which infuriated him to no end. There was no more denying it; he was head over heels for Annabeth. And despite that, despite the fact that she was the greatest person he'd ever met, his cowardly self _still_ couldn't find a way to tell her.

It was the end of the day- a Tuesday, actually, but the class had a full week off, only returning to school the following Wednesday because of the absence of snow days- and the whole school was slamming their lockers closed and laughing and talking with one another, some making their way to the bicycle stands, some catching cabs, some taking the walk to the subway, some going around to the back where the buses were, and some just walking home.

He still had the huge problem in his gut- how to subtly tell Annabeth about his crush on her without actually doing so, and in a way in which she wouldn't notice what he meant until he was out of the vicinity. All guys had the same problem at one point in their lives, and while, to the untrained observer, it might seem petty, it actually was a traumatic experience, even though they ended up not having anything to worry about.

This was different though, Percy told himself, because this was Annabeth freaking Chase, and she was...she was...

Well, gorgeous, definitely, and the coolest person he'd ever met, but why would it be such a problem just to flat-out tell her? What would be the worst thing that could happen? And besides, it was Valentine's Day. Wasn't it...every girl's dream, or something, to be on the receiving end of a confession such as that on Valentine's Day?

He'd heard a saying once- "Reach for the stars, because even if you miss, you're gonna land on top of the world." (he thought that Pitbull had said it, but that was beside the point), but the meaning of the line was still there- if you try and fail, who's going to blame you? And trying and failing would definitely be worse than not trying at all, missing your chance, and then, for the rest of your life, wondering about what could have happened. He had to tell Annabeth his feelings. Chickening out was not an option.

Percy didn't know what was making him so optimistic, but he didn't see anyone in the halls except for himself and Annabeth, struggling to get all the Valentine's gifts she got out of her locker.

It was now or never.

Percy gulped and put on his trademark grin, walking over to lean on the locker next to hers. "I didn't know you were _this _popular, Annabeth."

Annabeth glared at him over a heart-shaped box of Twix. "Shut the hell up, Jackson," she growled, "and help me dump all of this in the trash."

That certainly was _not_ the reaction Percy was expecting. He blinked, and Annabeth took that as an opportunity to shove six stuffed animals into his arms, and, while holding a dozen boxes of chocolates, kicked her locker shut. "What...you didn't like the gifts they gave you? Because when you were getting them, you sounded like you did."

Annabeth shrugged as they walked out of the building and dumped all the stuff in one of the trash cans. "No, I don't like most of those guys, not even as friends. Not really my type, you know?"

Percy nodded. Maybe...maybe there _was_ hope for him, after all. "What...what _is_ your type?"

He winced, thinking he'd given away his feelings (running out of whatever source of optimism that had been sustaining him), but she just shrugged. "I don't know...someone nicer...sweet...funny..." she let the sentence trail off as they walked home to their separate apartments, which happened to be in the same apartment building.

Percy swallowed. Though he could have been exaggerating, he didn't think so when the thought came to him that what he was about to say could very well be the most important sentence of his life.

"Well," he said nervously, "you think ice cream Saturday evening will help you figure it out?"

As soon as he said that, his face flushed red and he looked down at his shoes. Annabeth's, he noticed, had stopped moving.

He looked back at her. "Uh...Annabeth?"

Her face was bright red and she managed to stammer out something that sounded like, "Ah...gah, gabba, wha?"

How eloquent.

Percy's face was still burning hot, but saying it once had given him the confidence to say it another time. "Me. You. Ice cream. Saturday. You in?"

Annabeth said something that sounded like, "You...asking me out?"

"Well, I kinda hoped you'd take it that way."

She couldn't say anything for some reason, just nodded her head furiously up and down, and they resumed their walk in silence.

It wasn't exactly how Percy had envisioned his first asking-out of a girl. He'd definitely thought there would be more kissing, for one, like Annabeth would throw herself on him and then push back awkwardly, blushing. And he probably would have preferred it if he had a gift to give to her, seeing as it was Valentine's Day. Also, the absence of rain and warmer weather kinda killed the cheesy romantic setting.

As they walked home, Percy looked at Annabeth. She was gorgeous as always, but she didn't say or do anything to acknowledge her emotions at the moment- how happy she was, if she was happy, if she regretted the decision she made. Maybe it was the sudden increase in pessimism immediately following sudden increases in optimism, but Percy wasn't sure exactly how she felt. And if there was one thing he didn't like, it was not knowing.

But despite all the bad feelings he was getting, he looked even closer than just what had happened, to what was happening.

As their boots crunched through a light sprinkling of snow that Percy vaguely recalled had just started falling a few minutes ago, he looked at the goddess walking next to him.

Annabeth wasn't saying anything. But her cheeks were flushed red, her hand was still over her mouth, and her eyes were still shining. And that kind of made up for it.

* * *

_Love and life are very much alike, in more ways than you may think. Both are potentially fatal, exasperatingly frustrating, facepalmingly confusing-_

_And strangely addictive._

* * *

**A/N: Deja vu to end of TLO!**

**Well, I-Was-Born-To-Be-Somebody, I hope that came out okay! And, ChristineLaurenn, you can PM me with your one shot request within the next week and I'll write it up for you.**

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	25. Frenemies

**A/N: I've gotten positive reviews on both the "Friends" and the "Friends with Benefits" chapters in this story, so I decided to do another one with a similar format. It's an AnnabethxRachel friendship fic, because the world _seriously_ needs a lot more of that.**

**Enough said! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

"You've met her _before?"_

Percy cowered under her gaze, and Annabeth suddenly realized why she was so freaking mad at the idiot standing in front of her- she was in _love_ with him. Territorial, jealous, fucked-up, yes, but it was love, just the same.

"Um," he said warily, and rightfully so, "last winter."

That was the last thing Annabeth needed to hear. Last winter was still a sore subject for her- she'd allowed Luke to get the better of her despite the fact that she knew she shouldn't have, and had payed the price for it, almost dying in the process. She didn't know how to thank Percy enough for rescuing her, even holding up the sky for her at one point, and it was then that the feeling had started and only now that she'd realized it- if only she'd figured it out sooner, Rachel _freaking_ Dare probably wouldn't have come and screwed it all up.

"She's kind of cute," Annabeth said menacingly, almost daring Percy to agree with it, or even say anything in reply, for that matter.

Fear shone through Percy's eyes, and he said, "Um...I've never really thought about it."

Oh, yeah. _Sure..._

Feeling betrayed (though she didn't exactly know why- Percy was allowed to have friends outside of camp, so what if they were girls?), Annabeth turned around and stalked on one heel towards 33rd street. Maybe if she did that, he'd get the message and fix it. It was a long shot, but she hoped to Olympus that he'd get it. That he'd realize she was jealous.

"Annabeth," he said, running to catch up with her, "if this is about the school, don't worry about it! I'll deal with it!"

PERSEUS JACKSON YOU ARE A STUPID, BRAINLESS, IDIOT!

* * *

Annabeth growled and clenched her fists under the table, barely being able to say to the stupid mother_fucker_ that was the guy she was doomed to like, possibly love-

"Yeah. I'll have the same."

He grinned and nodded, both to her and to..._her_. "Cool. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

Rachel Elizabeth Dare grinned back at him and nodded. "Thanks, Perce!"

Great. The bitch already had a nickname for him. _Fucking_ perfect.

When Percy was gone. Annabeth could barely suppress herself from really mouthing off to Rachel (which would probably have ruined whatever chance she had with Percy- not that she cared, or anything), and slowly unclenched her fists from under the table, turning to face Rachel. Putting on a noticeably fake smile, she said, "So...how do you know Percy?"

Rachel shrugged and scraped some of the golden flecks of paint off of her arm. "Long story."

"I've got time."

"Well," she said, "last winter, at the Hoover Dam-"

The Hoover Dam? Wow, Annabeth always wanted to go-

Wait.

LAST WINTER? AGAIN?!

Oh, that gorgeous motherfucker was going to be one _dead_ motherfucker by the time she was done with him.

"-I saved him from some skeleton warriors. And then a few weeks ago, at our high school orientation-"

They go to the same school? Oh, joy.

"-I saved him from some empousai and stuff. You were there, right?"

Annabeth nodded. "Yeah. I remember that. When you...wrote your number on his arm and asked him to tell you more about the gods and stuff."

She nodded. "Yeah, he called few a few times. Just to talk, you know? About...stuff."

It was all that she could do to nod politely, and then look over at Percy, still five spots away from the front of the line. How long can it possible take to get three drinks and talk about the freaking Labyrinth quest?

She turned back to Rachel, who was staring at Percy with a dreamy look on her face. It was one she was familiar with, because she used it everyday, but she was definitely _not_ okay with any other girl doing it.

_He's mine!_ she wanted to say, _Go find someone else to stalk!_

But what hurt the most was that it wasn't true. He wasn't hers. And she felt it, especially when he came back with the drinks and handed Rachel hers first, his eyes lingering on her for an extra moment before sitting down himself.

* * *

Annabeth growled and leaped off the pegasus, holding onto the left door handle with one hand as Percy and Guido spiraled out of control, and there she was, in the middle of an apocalypse, saving the gorgeous mo- _Percy's_ friend.

Man, how did her life get to be so fucked up?

She, of course, was worried to death about Percy, because that idiot had proven to her that he couldn't go five minutes without coming close to dying unless she was with him, a fact that she didn't find annoying, but strangely comforting.

Using every bit of her camp training and strength, she hoisted herself up and into the helicopter from her position out of it, and Rachel grasped her arm to help her up, shutting the door on the way.

Annabeth flexed her injured shoulder and nodded to Rachel. "Dare."

She looked visibly scared, obviously from the predicament they were in. "Uh...you can interrogate me later. First, can you just...uh...save me?"

There were a thousand things she could think of to say to Rachel, but she knew that now wasn't the right time, that they'd all die if she did that. So instead, Annabeth ran over to the controls, racking her brain for the mental photographs she took when reading her dad's old aviation records, and some from Daedalus's laptop, too.

She remembered enough, she thought, to be able to at least land the helicopter, so she flicked a few switches and pulled a few levers, and, sure enough, the helicopter slowly began to descend onto the middle of fifth avenue.

She craned her neck around, surprisingly having kept her cool throughout the whole life-or-death ordeal. "So. Why did Percy want you here?"

"He didn't send me."

Annabeth snorted, not believing one word of it, seeing as she'd never been one to question her interpretation of another person's ulterior motives. Rachel wasn't a demigod. She was a mortal, who could give Percy a normal life Annabeth never could (where did _that_ thought come from?) and had no other demigod friends. Annabeth wasn't stupid.

"Look," said Rachel, "if you don't believe me-"

"Oh, I believe what you said," said Annabeth as the helicopter touched down on the street.

She opened the door and looked back over her shoulder.

"I just don't think it's the truth."

And then she saw Percy, looking at her in awe, like she was the greatest goddess on heaven or earth. "I...didn't know you could fly a helicopter."

Hmmph. About time he payed attention to her instead of _Rachel._

She almost walked up to him and slapped him, but gained control over herself at the last second, channeling that frustrated energy into flexing her arm again, trying to rid it of the aches that came with getting stabbed by a poisonous knife.

_Yeah?_ she thought, _Well, I didn't know you could be that stupid._

* * *

"So...you never did?"

Rachel shrugged and tossed another stone into the camp lake, watching it skip seven times (more than what Annabeth could ever do) before it sunk into the water. "Well, maybe a little. But it's gone now."

During the war, Annabeth had thought that years of trying to get Percy to notice her had gone to waste with the arrival of the redheaded freak, and she'd let her affection towards Percy take the backseat to the apocalypse that was going on around them. A confession from Rachel certainly was unexpected.

Rachel must have been staring at Annabeth the whole time she was thinking, because she let out a huge sigh and hopped off of the rock she was standing on, coming over to sit down on the sandy beach next to Annabeth. "I used to like him, but now I don't, okay?" She nudged Annabeth with her shoulder and pointed to Percy, who, Annabeth noted, was just coming back from sword-fighting, looking absolutely gorgeous, like he always did. "He's over there. Now go, unless you want some Aphrodite chick to beat you to it!"

"What?" said Annabeth, breaking herself out of her thought process.

Rachel rolled her eyes, and Annabeth got a good look at her for once, and, instead of picturing her as a she-devil, Annabeth actually _looked_ at her for once.

Her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and, while messy, still managed to look good on her. Annabeth, too, had messy hair that she pulled back into a ponytail, but she knew it could never look as good as how Rachel did it- at least, no one had ever told her otherwise.

Rachel was wearing a white shirt and denim short shorts, and, while her shorts were ratty and had paint all over them, she looked good. Annabeth looked down at her white shirt and denim short shorts, which she hoped she looked good in, but had her doubts about.

Rachel Elizabeth Dare also had a kind of aura around her- maybe it was strengthened by becoming the Oracle, but Annabeth recalled that she'd always had it; a tough-girl type attitude, but nice, too. Someone you wouldn't want to mess with, and not just because her parents were rich. Annabeth had been told by many that she had that same type of attitude, and, while she didn't really try to do much with or about it, she could never have managed to be like that as effortlessly as Rachel did.

Basically, Rachel was everything Annabeth was- except better.

Annabeth looked even closer at Rachel, though, to how she was nervously fingering the white t-shirt she was wearing, as if it brought back memories that she wasn't sure she wanted. Annabeth noticed how Rachel was biting the inside of her cheek and was glancing back and forth between Percy and her white shirt, and Annabeth recalled how _she_ always bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from kissing Percy...

_Oh gods,_ she thought, though she didn't know if it was accurate or not, _Rachel made a move on Percy. And he denied her. For me._

She got up and set course for Percy, getting ready to sprint, then changed her mind and set off towards the forges. "Tyson!"

Rachel blinked a few times, trying to figure out how Tyson fit into Annabeth's "Percy plan", then sighed and got up from her position, shaking her head.

"Man," she said, "demigod girls are so _weird!"_

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if the first scene was inaccurate- I was just relying on memory for that. **

**I don't have much to say, except for REVIEW! Tell me what you think!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	26. Flowers

**A/N: I've got good news, and I've got bad news.**

**The bad news- I sprained my ankle playing tennis, meaning I'm done for a _while_.**

**NOOOOOO! I LOVE TENNIS!  
**

**The good news is that it gives me twelve extra hours every week to fix my Percabeth cravings! Which is good for you!**

**This is set post-TLO, when Percy and Annabeth are just beginning to settle into the whole "boyfriend-girlfriend" thing.**

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

* * *

"You know...tomorrow is December eighteenth."

Percy scratched the back of his neck nervously and looked at Annabeth through the Iris-Message. She was currently drafting blueprints in her workroom on Olympus. "Yeah..." he said slowly, not sure where the conversation was going.

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes. December eighteenth. You _do_ remember what's happening that day, right?"

"Um..." Percy said, "Yeah. Of course I do!"

He didn't have a clue.

She obviously didn't believe him, but smiled at him anyways. "Well, I've got to go- I'm working on the new shrine to Artemis, and she wants a statue with a bunch of men groveling at her feet . Can you believe it?"

Percy shot her a wicked grin, the one that made his ego grow because it always made her cheeks redden, and said, "Yeah, actually, I can."

She raised a hand in farewell. "See you, Seaweed Brain!" And then proceeded to slash her arm through the mist, ending the Iris-Message.

Immediately, Percy fell face down onto his bed. "What the _hell_," he groaned into his pillow, "is happening on December eighteenth?"

Sally Jackson poked her head into her son's room, smiling softly at his predicament. "Two things. Both very important to your survival."

Percy yelped and shot off of his bed. "Ah! Mom! Uh, how much did you hear?"

Sally stepped inside and out her hands on her hips. "Enough to know that you're in _serious_ trouble." She held up his empty suitcase. "Remember? You're going to camp for Christmas? And so is Annabeth? And so is everyone else?"

"So..." he said, "I have to buy her a present for Christmas?"

Sally shook her head. "No, but you _do_ need to buy her a present."

Percy was getting even more confused. "But _why?_ If not for Christmas, then why?"

His mother smirked and crossed her arms, leaning against the door. "On August eighteenth, you guys started dating. December eighteenth will be your four-month anniversary."

"Yeah," Percy said slowly, "so..."

Sally sighed in exasperation. "So, it's common courtesy for the "chivalrous males" of the relationship to buy their girlfriends a present on their anniversary, don't you think?"

Percy leaped up in the air, smacking himself in the forehead. "Oh, Hades!" he exclaimed, "I'm such an idiot!"

"I'll have to agree with that one." Sally checked her watch. "Well, you have a half hour until dinner. I suggest-"

But Percy was already out the door.

* * *

Fifteen minutes and a subway ride later, Percy was at the Customer Service counter in the "Gifts R'Us" just outside the financial district, which was apparently "the store for all your gift-giving needs!"

Personally, Percy thought it was a store for girls- there was a whole section devoted to chocolates in heart-shaped boxes, an aisle selling just cookie dough ice cream right next to an aisle selling just chick flicks, and a whole quarter of the store sold nothing but over sized stuffed animals.

The seventeen year-old girl on duty was reading a magazine as Percy cleared his throat to get her attention. Without even looking up, she started to put the magazine down and recited her practiced drone. "You've reached the Customer Ser-" upon laying eyes on Percy, she dropped the magazine, straightened her hair, and put on her best smile, "-vice Section of Gifts R'Us, the store for all of your gift-giving needs. How may I help you?"

Percy, oblivious as always, said, "I need to buy a present for...my mom," too embarrassed to tell a stranger that he had a girlfriend, for some reason.

Glad that he hadn't said "my girlfriend", the saleslady directed him over to the front most part of the store- covered from floor to ceiling with flowers. "This would be the perfect gift," she explained, "for any girl. Especially a mother or a girlfriend. But you're looking for a present for your mother, right? Not a girlfriend?"

"Yes," said Percy, "what...which kind of flower is best?"

"Depends on what you're looking for," she replied, slipping a Post-it with her number scrawled on it into his back pocket and going over to the first display- a white flower with an odd, scooped-out shape. "This one, for example, is a White Calla Lily. It stands for magnificence, purity, and beauty."

That would be good for Annabeth, he thought. She was pure as pure can be- never using makeup or anything, if that's what the flower was saying, and she definitely had magnificence in the bag, and beauty- oh, don't even get him _started_ on beauty.

They moved on to the next flower- a red, frilly flower. It immediately reminded him of Rachel Elizabeth Dare (though he didn't know how that would fly with Annabeth), and he said, "What about that one?"

"It's a Carnation. Love, pride, and admiration are what it symbolizes," was the saleslady's answer.

Well, Percy definitely loved Annabeth- he'd never said it out loud, but he kind of hoped it was implied. He admired Annabeth, too, and though she did suffer from _hubris_, or deadly pride, he knew as well as anyone that pride was a good thing sometimes.

Moving on, he looked at the third choice- another frilly flower, but it was white this time. "A Chrysanthemum," the lady was saying, "symbolizing truth and loyal love."

Percy instantly knew that the flower probably represented their relationship the most- loyal and truthful, no secrets kept.

The next flower was blue, tall, and fairly pinecone-shaped. A Hyacinth, the label said. "What does it stand for?" he asked.

The saleslady was staring at him with a red face, but when he turned to look at her, she quickly gushed out, "playfulness, a sporty attitude, and constancy."

Percy knew that he was going to get that flower- Annabeth had always wanted to build something permanent, and liked when things stayed the way they were. Constancy would be a good thing to give to her, not to mention playfulness and a sporty attitude. That definitely screamed "Annabeth!"

The fifth flower on display was put up at shoulder height, so Percy leaned in to give it a whiff- it smelled sweet, of grapes, and he had a flashback to taking care of Annabeth with her wounded shoulder during the Titan War, on the balcony of the Plaza hotel. The flower itself was purple, and the leaves seemed to be very carefree and independent- distinguishing characteristics of Annabeth.

"That one's an Iris," said the saleslady, "it stands for wisdom and eloquence."

Hades if Percy knew what "eloquent" meant, but wisdom was a suiting characteristic. Annabeth, like all children of Athena, was exceptionally intelligent, and then some.

The last flower in their collection was pink, and stuck out at odd angles. "This last one is called a Gladiolus," said the saleslady, "it stands for strength of character, faithfulness, and honor."

Honorable, faithful, strong...those were all definitely Annabeth.

The saleslady turned to Percy. "Well, have you decided what you want to get?"

Percy stood in front of the displays of flowers, his hands in his pockets, lost in deep thought.

Annabeth was unique; there was no question about that, and Percy wanted to get her a unique gift. He'd already decided that a flower was the best thing to get her- she wouldn't appreciate much else at the store, and he wasn't about to show up at camp with a giant stuffed elephant and present it to her. The question was, which flower would she want? There were so many options, and each one seemed to represent her perfectly...

Realization struck him like a non-lethal bolt of lightning, and he remembered something he already had. Buying flowers would be perfect to accentuate that, and he knew it would be even more perfect for Annabeth, so he turned to the saleslady.

"Can I take one of each?"

* * *

Camp Half-Blood. Satyrs chasing the nymphs, a mysterious figure deflating all the basketballs (whoever could _that_ be?), campers relaxing by sword-fighting, climbing a lava wall, and ripping a monster's limbs apart.

In other words, it was Percy's absolute favorite place on earth.

"Percy!"

A wall of blonde hair tackled him in a huge hug, making him slam his back into the side of his mom's car and almost crushing the bouquet of flowers he was hiding behind his back for Annabeth.

He straightened up and nodded to his mom, telling her she could go, and she smiled back, almost wishing him good luck, before speeding off out of Long Island Sound.

"Hi, Annabeth!" He dropped his suitcases on the hill and returned the hug as best as he could with one hand.

She pulled away and got right to the point, "You _do_ know what's up about today, right, Seaweed Brain?"

Percy grinned and puffed out his chest. "Yup," she said proudly, "I figured it out myself!"

"And Hades wears pink underwear."

He sighed. "Alright, my mom told me. But that's beside the point!"

He looked around to make sure that no other campers were intruding on them, and then brought out the bouquet of flowers from behind his back. The White Calla Lily, the Carnation, the Chrysanthemum, the Hyacinth, the Iris, and the Gladiolus, all nestled against each other and tied up with a red string. And Percy's own addition- right in the center, it's attributes enhanced by the other flowers around it- the delicate, graceful, beautiful moonlace. A gem, a reminder of paradise, his only reminder.

Annabeth gasped and took the bouquet from him. "Wow..." she breathed, "you remembered..."

Percy grinned. "Yup! Our four-month anniversary!"

Annabeth smiled back and threw her arms around his neck. "Thanks, you idiot," she giggled, "but I was talking about my birthday."

This made Percy feel incredibly stupid, and he felt his face grew hot. "Oh," he mumbled, "well-"

She kissed him on the cheek. "It's okay," she said, "I'll take it as a gift for both occasions."

"Er...right."

She stepped back and examined the bouquet some more, mumbling the names of their flowers and their meanings under her breath. Percy was silently hoping that she would somehow skip the one in the middle (after all, how are you supposed to tell your girlfriend that you were trapped on paradise with a pretty girl for two weeks while, back home, she was going out of her mind with worry?), but she soon said, "Hey- what's this one in the middle?"

Percy scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Uh...the white one?"

She nodded. "Yeah, it's really pretty- but I've never seen it before."

"Oh, well..." he looked down at the ground, "it's called moonlace..."

"And..." said Annabeth slowly, wondering what he wasn't telling her.

Percy gulped. "Well...it's actually kind of a funny story- how I got the flower, I mean."

Annabeth crossed her arms, not sure of where the explanation was going and not sure if it was a good one or a bad one. "I've got time."

"You know those two weeks I was gone? After I made Mount St. Helens explode?" he began. Annabeth nodded, and he continued, "well, I landed on Calypso's island. And...when I left, she, ah, kissedmeandgavemethismoonlac esoIwouldneverforgether."

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "Calypso, huh?" she said, "so while everyone at camp was worried sick about you..." she took a step closer to him and then slapped him across the face, "you were living _la vida loca_ with freaking Calypso?"

Percy backed away. "A- as difficult as it's going to be for you to believe me at this point," he rambled, "there is an absolutely legitimate e-explanation-"

Annabeth stopped short and, eyes filling with tears of happiness, said softly, "And...you're giving your one concrete reminder of life on paradise...to me?"

As Percy stopped backing away, confused, she stepped up on the tips of her toes and kissed Percy softly on the mouth, then ran down the hill, clutching the bouquet of flowers in her hand, her blonde hair bouncing up and down with every step she took.

Completely stunned, Percy just watched her go, then shook his head and bent down to pick up his bags, setting off down the hill towards his cabin.

"Man," he muttered to himself, "bipolar girls are so _weird."_

* * *

**A/N: I'm just freaking _addicted_ to ending stories like that- I have no clue why, I just do!**

**Oh, and I'm not an expert on flowers, so I got all of the information off the internet. **

**Anyways, reviews would be greatly appreciated!**

**-epicsilverbullet**


	27. Sticks and Stones

**A/N:** Sorry that it's been a long time since I updated- it's just that Hurricane Sandy hit pretty hard and I didn't have power for the last week or so.

Anyways, I thank the anonymous reviewer "Crazy Muda Fuka"...I think...I don't know. Are you a hater or not? I'm just curious...some of your reviews were nice, but some were...weird. And extremely vocal and colorful in terms of language.

Ahem.

So this is something extremely short that just popped into my head after reading Calvin and Hobbes, and it was down on the computer, revised, and edited in a short while. Sorry if there are some mistakes, but I hope this is satisfying enough!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own PJO

* * *

Annabeth Chase kicked a rock down one of the numerous sidewalks in Central Park, leaving a strand of colorful language in her wake, fluctuated at random intervals by only two non-profane words: Seaweed and Brain.

It wasn't that she _hated_ Percy, though anyone walking past her at the moment would have thought otherwise. At the moment, however, she just...disliked him with a passion of a thousand burning suns.

Okay, maybe she _did_ kind of dislike him at the moment. But that was only because of what he said! Suggesting that frizzy-haired, good-for-nothing, little punk to come along with them. On _her_ quest, nonetheless!

She didn't _hate_ Rachel either, and she was being serious that time. She honestly didn't. She liked that Rachel was a rebel, a free spirit, an independent person, someone who didn't care what others thought.

What Annabeth _did_ hate was Rachel and Percy. RachelPercy. PercyRachel. Rachercy?

Perachel?

Gods, it made her sick just thinking something like that.

What she didn't like was how close Rachel and Percy had become, and long ago she'd stopped arguing with herself over why she didn't like that. It was just...hard, for her. She didn't like to think of herself as too possessive, but at the same time, she'd been there for Percy for while now, and she kind of felt she was being thrust to the side by this mortal girl.

It almost seemed like every time she was around Percy, it was, "Rachel this," or "Rachel that," or "Me and Rachel". And Annabeth didn't like it. Not one bit.

She'd been told long ago that she was extremely territorial of her friends, but figured she had every right to be that way. When everything good that happens to a person goes away, it's only fair, she thought.

Which brought her back to her central topic in mind- stupid oblivious idiots named Percy. More specifically, ways to stop thinking about stupid oblivious idiots named Percy, because not thinking about it will make it go away.

It was hard for her to get out of camp- they'd be leaving to pick up that mortal girl the next day- but Athena didn't just give her the invisibility hat for _nothing_. She expected her children to be good at more than following the rules, and at the moment, Annabeth found her rule-breaking carrying herself aimlessly around the park.

She casually glanced up and noted that she was near the pond in the middle of the park- in one place, in particular. There was a rocky outcropping stretching a few feet into the pond where one could sit and play Temple Run on one's iPhone, debate the origin and meaning of life, or wallow in self-pity, if one so desired.

She also noticed an owl sitting on the branch above her. It was mysteriously gray in color, and it's stormy eyes stared down on her in recognition. Like she did with all owls, she felt a certain connection to that bird of prey.

She remembered an old nursery rhyme saying at that moment, and while she would normally have been embarrassed at using a nursery rhyme as a means of self-rejuvenation, she reasoned that nursery rhymes were remembered because, more often than not, they worked, and she decided, what the hell? Why not?

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," she said out loud, feeling contented, like she'd one-upped her self pitied state.

Then the owl cocked it's head to the side, as if to say, _You serious right now?_ And Annabeth sighed and plopped down on the rock, her face glum.

"Words will never hurt me," she repeated, in an almost mocking tone. Then, more morbidly, "yeah, right."

The truth was that words had always had a more powerful impact on the world in general that anything else. It didn't need to be explained or analyzed, it was just the plain truth.

Wounds heal. But scars don't.

The owl, satisfied at the sight of Annabeth admitting that she was hurt but also generally sympathetic of her, fluttered of her branch and landed right next to Annabeth, pecking her shoe as if to say, _It's not so bad, boys are idiots. Watch me!_

Against her natural instincts, but feeling as if she had to make an exception just this once, the owl flew off the rock and grabbed a fish from the pond, quick as a flash.

It _did_ make Annabeth feel better. But just a little bit.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** This one just sort of...came out. Tell me how it was? I'd like to know what you guys think!

Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

**-epicsilverbullet**


	28. Prince Charming

**A/N: **Again, something short I whipped up after reading Calvin and Hobbes- I should give Bill Watterson my thanks...if you know him, tell him I said thanks!

I hope this will satisfy whatever has been left unsatisfied, and I just want to let you know that updates will now take maybe five days to a week from now on as I start to focus more on my other stories which I've kind of been neglecting.

By the way, this is a future fic.

And without further ado, here's the next chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own PJO or Calvin and Hobbes

* * *

Hailey Jackson stared up at her father, her large, innocent, green eyes boring into his soul, and Percy then realized why Annabeth liked _his_ eyes so much- at that point in time, he'd be willing to do whatever his daughter wanted him to do as long as she would keep on staring at him. It must have been weird for Annabeth to act like that for five years, and he had to have been _extremely _stupid as a kid not to notice that.

Good thing his stupidity had gone away.

He shook his head, breaking himself out of his reverie, and smiled at her. "What do you want me to read to you for your bedtime story, Hailey?"

She grinned. "Cat in The Hat!"

Percy groaned. "Again?"

"Yes, Dada! You pwomised!"

Oh, she did _not_ just use the "pwomised" word! Or the "Dada" word! Or the large, round, irresistibly cute Bambi eyes that followed those words...

"Oh, all right!" he caved, bringing the book out from the bookshelf. Hailey, who'd soon be the death of him, snuggled deeper into the blankets as her father began to read.

"The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play. So we sat in the house on that cold, cold, wet day-"

"Daddy?"

He peered at her over the book. "Yes?"

"Why do you always read me the bedtime story and not mom?"

He grinned and puffed out his chest. "Because," he said dramatically, "reading the bedtime story is the _dad's_ job."

At the sink, Annabeth, eavesdropping woman that she was, huffed with irritation and placed another plate on the drying rack. "And it seems to be the _only_ dad's job around here!"

Hailey giggled. "Did you leave the dishes for mommy again?"

Percy glared in the general direction of his wife, ignoring his daughter for the moment. "You said 'yes' eight years ago! You can't regret it now!"

"Eight years ago, you actually had a brain!"

"What's that supposed to-hey!"

Albeit she'd usually feel good about riling up Percy Jackson, now was not one of those times. _He_ was the one with the uber cool water powers, not her! Yet, still, she got stuck with the dishes!

Sexism on display. Athena bless America.

"Real intelligent, Percy!"

Percy crossed his arms, quietly grumbling angry comebacks he'd never have the balls to say- at least, not to someone as terrifying as Annabeth. He always hated it when his wife got the upper hand- sometimes it felt like they were fighting more than they were...loving each other. The whole "marriage" thing was overrated.

Hailey, irritated at being ignored (like all other seven-year-olds on the planet felt every single _day_, whether they had good reason or not), interjected, "Why are you and mommy yelling? Are you fighting?"

Through clenched teeth, Percy said, "No, we're just talking loudly because we _love_ each other."

Annabeth glared from the kitchen. "Because Megan Fox and the director of Transformers _loved _each other, too, right?"

Oh, that was the last straw. _No one,_ not even a guy's wife, could make a joke out of Megan Fox leaving Transformers and getting replaced with some random British girl! _No one._

He yelled in the general direction of the kitchen. "TONIGHT'S STORY IS CALLED 'WHY PRINCE CHARMING STAYED SINGLE!'"

"PRINCE _WHAT?!"_

* * *

**A/N:** Of course, only the last two bits of dialogue were taken for Calvin and Hobbes, and so was the "dad's job" part. But other than that, I just let the words flow onto the computer, I didn't even stop typing, I just let it all come out.

Most of the time, authors have to stop and think about what they write. I'm lucky that this wasn't one of those times.

Oh, by the way. I'd appreciate it if you guys could tell me how I "bridge the gender gap", so to speak. I try to write from Percy's perspective a lot because I don't know much about guys. Just that they all like COD and they none of them are as cute as Channing Tatum in Dear John.

But seriously, I'd appreciate constructive criticism on that topic! Like, is my rendition of "guy thoughts" accurate? Or are they random hings that don't make sense? Is Percy and Annabeth's relationship realistic? Or do I seem to favor Annabeth too much?

You don't need to answer those _exact_ questions, just, in general, how I'm doing with the gender thing. I'd really appreciate that!

Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

**-epicsilverbullet**


	29. The Cheerleader

**A/N: **Sorry for my updating drought! Its just that I was on vacation for Thanksgiving for four days, and I couldn't update, but here's the next chapter for you guys!

Just a note about this- I dedicate this chapter to Meepmeep123, who has been _extremely_ awesome and amazing, reviewing pretty much every chapter of every one of my stories! I'd like to thank her/him a lot, and I advise everyone to check out her/his stories!

Also, I give her a cameo appearance in this story as a reward. Least I could do!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own PJO

* * *

"O Fleecy, do me a solid! Show me Annabeth Chase, Upper East Side!"

The golden mist shimmered, and an image was formed- Annabeth Chase, sitting at her desk, working furiously on an assignment that was probably due in a few years.

Percy wouldn't have it any other way.

He grinned. "Annabeth!"

She yelped in surprise and fell off her chair, her blonde ponytail whipping around to cover her face, and she sat down hard on the floor. "Percy, you moron!"

Percy shrugged. "You should be expecting me. I call you every day at the same exact time."

She sighed and got up from her position on the hardwood, flipping her hair back around and sitting back on the chair. "So."

"How's life?"

It was her turn to shrug. "I dunno. We get a lot of homework over here."

"Annabeth, it's a _boarding _school. They get lots of homework."

She smiled at him. "I miss you, though."

He blushed and stared at the floor of his bedroom. "Oh- I, uh...I miss you. Too. Yeah."

She giggled. "So, how's life for you?"

He shrugged again. "Okay, I guess." He grinned. "My mom is awesome, as usual."

Annabeth nodded. "Yeah, I can imagine. What else?"

"School is getting pretty weird now that its a week before Valentine's Day. Girls are randomly twirling their hair behind their ear and dumping pounds of..._stuff_ on their face, which is weird. And freaky."

Annabeth sighed. "You're an idiot."

"And that's why you love me."

"Well, one of the reasons."

_Way to be an indirect coward,_ Percy thought as Annabeth got off the chair and leaped onto her bed. "Screw the homework. It's due in a month, anyway." She rolled over so she was facing the Iris-Message. "So. Involved with any of those girls?"

Percy shrugged, flopping onto _his_ bed. "Not really?"

She cocked an eyebrow. "Not _really?_ What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I'm currently dog-sitting for this one girl every weekday from seven to eight while she's at cheerleading practice, but that's about it-"

"You _WHAT?"_

Percy instinctively jerked and looked at the image on the screen, nervous, though he didn't quite know why. "Uh...yeah," he explained, "and when she comes to my apartment at eight, one day a week she stays with me for a half hour until her parents come back-"

"She _WHAT?"_

"-and then she leaves for her apartment. It's two doors down from mine."

"It's _WHAT?"_

Percy frowned. "Do you have a hearing problem or something?"

Annabeth groaned. "So, let me get this straight. You dog-sit for a pretty cheerleader."

"Well, I wouldn't know if she was _pretty_ or not-"

"A _pretty_ cheerleader," she said, dragging out the word "pretty".

He gulped and nodded. "Yeah, I- I guess so."

"And she stays at your apartment for a half hour after you guys are done."

"Yep. And two days out of the five, my parents aren't home."

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Even better. What do you guys even do?"

Percy shrugged. "You know. Stuff."

Annabeth promptly stood up from the bed. "That's it. For guys, 'stuff' is a code word for 'make out until we can't see straight'. I'm coming over there."

"Annabeth-"

"_RIGHT NOW."_

"Where'd you get the idea that 'stuff' meant-"

_SLAM!_

He was greeted by a door slam to the face and was left sitting on his bed, perpetually confused.

He looked down at the beagle at his feet and sighed, rubbing the backs of its ears affectionately, causing it to nip playfully at his hand. "You know, Meep Meep, sometimes I feel as if girls are part of a completely different species than us normal people."

* * *

_Ding! Dong!_

The dreaded doorbell, Percy thought, getting up from his position on the couch and going over to open the door. "Hi, Ann-"

She stalked in without a word, throwing her coat onto the couch where he was sitting and plonking down into the available space next to it. "When's the cheerleader coming?"

Percy looked at the clock. 7:59. "Any minute now."

Annabeth harrumphed and kept her position on the couch, and Percy went to his apartment's small kitchen to pick up Meep Meep the beagle, walking over to the kitchen and placing it on Annabeth's lap. "Here," he said.

Annabeth grumbled at the sight of Meep Meep. "What is he or she doing on my lap?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

"It's a she," said Percy, "and she's awesome! Don't girls have a 'thing' for small, cute dogs?"

"Well, it seems like this cheerleader of yours has a 'thing' for you!"

And that's when the doorbell rang for the second time.

Annabeth got up to get it, but Percy stopped her. "I've got it. You stay and pet the dog. It helps with potentially homicidal tempers."

A little reluctantly, Annabeth started to pet Meep Meep and yelped as she gave her a lick on the hand, as Percy went to the door and opened it. "Hi, Hailey!"

Hailey grinned at him and gave him a bone-crushing hug. "Hey, Percy! How's Meep Meep!"

Percy grinned back and closed the door behind her as Hailey entered the room in her black and gold cheerleader uniform. "He's on the couch."

Hailey walked inside the room and accepted Meep Meep from Annabeth, who was staring open mouthed at the cheerleader. "Who's _that?"_ she asked, pointing to Annabeth.

Percy walked up to stand beside her. "That," he said, "is my girlfriend. Her name is Annabeth."

Hailey shrugged and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Annabeth."

Slowly, Annabeth shook it. "Nice...nice to meet you, too, Hailey."

Percy walked Hailey to the door, and she whispered in his ear. "Your girlfriend is pretty."

Percy smiled as she left his apartment. "I know."

He watched protectively as she entered her apartment, and then he walked back to the couch, sitting next to Annabeth. "Well? Still jealous?"

She turned to him and shook her head.

Hailey Roberts was four feet eleven inches. She was in third grade.

* * *

**A/N:** Annabeth the overreactor! Chiron _did_ say she was territorial about her friends, though.

Hope you liked the cameo, Meepmeep123! It certainly helped that your username is perfect for a dog's name (no offense).

Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

**-epicsilverbullet**


	30. Enemies

**Author's Notes:** Sorry for the long wait- I was meaning to update over Christmas break, but I caught the nasty flu that's been going around. And then when I got better, I got all caught up in drafting some stories on fictionpress (more about that later, or if you want to PM me and ask me about that, you can) that I forgot about this, but here I am!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own PJO

* * *

Percy sighed and added the ninety-third snowball to his fort, which really was just a mound of snow that he would duck behind. "We need more enemies."

Annabeth blew a strand of golden blond hair out of her face and added the two hundred twenty-seventh snowball to her more sophisticated fort, which was five feet high, fortified with a layer of ice (courtesy of her pouring water over it), and even had a little hole in the front for her to snipe out of. She'd built hers right next to Percy's, as a tag-team effort against any unfortunate soul who happened to come down the street.

Ah, the shit that happens when parents forbid electronically-powered items.

"Yeah," she agreed, "everyone likes us because we're just too darn awesome. No one wants to attack us."

_Either that or they aren't crazy enough to come outside in seven-degree weather,_ she thought.

Percy shifted around so he was laying on his back, arms behind his head. "Of course," he continued, "obviously, the only reason for that is because I'm here. What with my extremely good looks and flawless wit, it's only fair that nobody would want to be an opposition to me- I mean, us."

_How long has he been preparing that speech?_ Annabeth wondered, cocking her eyebrow. Out loud, she said, "Actually, it's more because of my presence that no one has attacked us yet. While boys can hardly be taken out in public, the quick thinking and enormous intellectual ability of girls is obviously the reason everybody likes us."

Percy turned to her, holding himself up by his elbow. "What do you _mean, _boys can't go out in public? At least boys aren't all a bunch of temperamental know-it-all's!"

Oh, that's it.

"That's just because boys are too busy hitting each other as hard as they possibly can to even know about intelligence!"

Percy took a snowball and and tossed it up and down threateningly. "It's called _football_, Annabeth."

Annabeth grabbed two snowballs and glared back at him. "You can't threaten me! I've got snowballs, too!"

"Well, then!"

And he charged at her, chucking his snowball at her face. To his credit, he hit, but Annabeth _was_ really only three feet away from him. In a split second, his momentum had carried him past her, and he wasted precious seconds wheeling around to get her in his sights. Annabeth used this time to dive behind her fort and make ready the crude catapult she'd fashioned out of sticks and a blade of grass.

When Percy turned to her fort, snowball in hand, she loaded up her catapult and fired. The snowball went right through the sniping hole and hit Percy in the middle of the chest. "Yes!" she said, allowing herself a second of success.

Unfortunately, it took a long time to load up, position, and fire the catapult, and on top of that, Percy was getting mad, so she ditched her contraption after the next couple of shots, chucking it at his face to buy herself some time, and started gathering up some snowballs to fire the old-fashioned way. "Ready to surrender?"

"Never!" shouted Percy's voice, closer than she'd thought it was. She only had enough time to dive out of the way before Percy came barreling through her fort, instantly razing the structure which she'd put a lot of time and effort into.

The fort _was_ fortified though, and it knocked the wind out of Percy as he took it down. He ended up face down on the ground. Quick thinking as she was, Annabeth stuffed snow into his hood and sat on top of him, nailing him twice in the back. But he was stronger than she'd though- he flipped over, tossing her off his back, and stood up, gathering some of her snowballs to use as ammunition.

"Those are _mine!_" She snarled, grabbing a snowball and lunging for his feet, stuffing the snow up his jacket. He managed to get off the ones in his hand, one nailing her quite painfully and cold in the face, but she made contact and he toppled over, landing face first in the snow.

Unfortunately, she tripped over the remnants of her demolished snow fort and hit a quite nasty patch of ice at the same time, sending her reeling backwards, and, with a rather ungraceful flop, she sunk deep into the snowdrift right next to her boyfriend. And it was only then that she realized that her lungs were burning, and she gasped for a breath.

"You know," Percy said, still face down, his voice muffled by the snow, "maybe we don't _need_ enemies."

"Yeah," Annabeth agreed, sucking in a breath and sitting up, brushing the snow off of her face, "friends are just about all I can take."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** The "fight" scene was actually pretty tough to do- all written fight scenes generally are.

The snow and Calivn and Hobbes inspired me for this one.

By the way, has anybody else noticed that the font for writing and editing documents has gotten smaller? Or is it just me?

Again, if you want more news on the fictionpress stuff, you cam PM me!

Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

**-epicsilverbullet**


	31. The Powers of Faux-Con

**Author's Notes:** Yikes, I haven't updated this in a while. My apologies!

Hope you like this! It was inspired by Modern Family.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own PJO or Modern Family

* * *

It wasn't the fact that he was fully naked, and that he was aware of it, that made him wake up.

It wasn't the fact that he'd been sleeping for fourteen hours and his body was screaming at him to get off his lazy ass, either. That wasn't what woke him up.

It wasn't the fact that he could smell something like bacon from the kitchen, the sweet smell of bacon-y goodness wafting up from the kitchen that made him wake up.

It was a combination of the three.

The first thing he sensed, while still drifting in and out of consciousness, was that he was feeling a slight breeze down below. When his sleepy mind noticed this, it thought, "Hey...maybe something should be done about that?"

And that was when the tag-team force of his body's natural awaking-thingy and the smell of bacon wafting up from the kitchen hit, and he cracked his eyes open, pulling the blanket over his lower body.

He looked over the side of the bed and saw his clothes strewn around the floor. _Shit_, he thought, slipping on a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. _What happened-_

And then he caught sight of the ring on the fourth finger of his left hand, and his mouth went dry.

_Oh. _Now_ I remember._

He sleepily padded his way downstairs to the kitchen and stuck his head in the door. Annabeth was cooking something on the stove, and the appetizing smell of bacon got stronger as he turned his head towards it. "Hey."

Annabeth turned around, in her sweats and tank top, and smiled at him. "Hey yourself."

Percy walked across the kitchen and sat down at the table. "Call me crazy, but I think we're married."

Annabeth laughed and nodded, flipping the bacon over. "Yeah, that's right. And you're not crazy if you say it feels crazy. I mean, one day we're dating, and the next..."

Percy stretched out and yawned. "Yeah. But it's great, it feels _great_." He turned his attention to the bacon and eggs she was sliding off the pan and onto two plates. "You're cooking?"

She shrugged, bringing the plates to the table and sitting across from him. "I'm the wife now, right?"

Percy stared. "Just because you're the wife doesn't mean you have to cook."

She smiled and pecked him on the cheek. "That's sweet. But I'd rather eat my cooking than yours...no offense."

Percy sighed but smiled back. "None taken," he said, turning his attention back to his delicious-looking plate of bacon and eggs. "I mean, it smells great," he said, "what kind is this? Because there's a bunch of different kinds, and I try to compare them to see which one is the best."

She swallowed a mouthful of food. "What? The bacon?"

"Yeah."

She smirked. "It isn't bacon."

Percy looked at his plate. "Annabeth, I love you. But if it smells like bacon, and if it tastes like bacon, and if it looks like bacon, then-"

"It isn't bacon."

"Well, what is it, then?"

"It's _faux_-con."

"_Faux_-con? Is that some kind of allergy medicine? Or, like, an undiscovered radioactive element?"

"No," she said, "_faux_-con." She pronounced 'faux' like the first three letters of the word 'four'. "_Faux_ is the French word for _fake_."

Percy's mouth went dry. "So this is like one of those '100%-soy bacon' things that they say tastes like real bacon but really doesn't?"

"Well, it tastes like bacon, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But it isn't. It's _faux-_ con Healthier, and it tastes just as good."

"Have you been talking to Demeter?"

"No, but my _mother_ has. And I believe her, I believe them both. From now on, this _faux_-con is what we'll be having."

"But-"

She gave him a light smack on the back of the head. "No buts! Eat your _faux-_con like a good husband!"

He sighed but obediently started to eat his _faux_-con. And it wasn't bad, he decided.

"You know something?" He said after a while.

"What?"

He waited a second before delivering the punch line.

"It's _faux_-con good."

She laughed and gave him another smack on the back of the head.

"Oh, shut up!"

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Not too sure about the ending...I mean, _I_ like it, but I'm not sure about you guys. The "faux-con good" was supposed to be the main punch line. Mitch said it to Cam in one of the funnier Modern Family episodes, so I thought I'd use it.

I like the ending of this- not every moment Percy and Annabeth have is going to be hilariously funny or life-changing or powerful. Some of them, the most important ones, will be just like this. At least, in my eyes.

I swear to whatever god is out there that I'll update my House of Hades story within a week.

Hope you liked it! Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

**-epicsilverbullet**


	32. First Christmas

**Author's Notes:** I got two flames yesterday. I'm assuming they're both from the same person, because they both said "Guest". Here they are:

Chapter 13: Idiotism If you don't know how to write don't write STUPID fic

Chapter 14: What the fucking shit you wrote don't understand anything PERCABETH FOREVER stupid bitch

I really don't know what to say to that...just a message to all flamers: please don't do it. I know that for every story out there, there are going to be people who hate it, but please keep it to yourself. I treasure each and every one of the reviews I get, but seeing that I have 2 new reviews, being all happy, and then finding those waiting for me is not fun.

I noticed that those reviews were for chapters 13 and 14. I'm assuming that you read all the chapters up to 13 and 14, and not just those. If you're going to take the time to review, why wouldn't you just...review one of the chapters you liked and say you liked it?

And if you do hate a chapter and you still want to review it, please tell me how I can _improve_ my writing, not that I'm an idiot and I don't know how to write and I shouldn't write and this is a STUPID fic and my writing is fucking shit and I don't understand anything and I'm a stupid bitch.

On a happier note, here's the next chapter. I'm probably going to be updating this less and less frequently because I am trying to wrap up my AU's and I'm working on a _lot_ of other stuff, so just be forewarned.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own PJO

* * *

Percy was used to waking up as late as he wanted on winter break, because the absence of sleep-depriving torture was nurturing for his energy-consuming, growing body.

However, on the first day of winter break, his mom shook him awake _early_. "Percy!" she hissed. "Wake up!"

Percy's eyelids felt like lead weights as he opened them. He could barely make out the numbers on his alarm clock. "Eight-thirty!" he exclaimed, as loud as he could while being sleep-deprived. "Mom, it's winter break!"

His mom tsk-tsked. "You need to go Christmas shopping for Annabeth," she reminded him. "Last month, you went shopping for everyone but forgot Annabeth's present. Then you promised you'd do it four weeks ago! And then, four weeks ago, you said you'd do it next week, and then three weeks ago, you said you'd do it next week, and you've been putting it off all this while!"

Percy sighed and rubbed his eyes, turning over in bed. "Illdoittomorrow,", he slurred.

She responded by throwing the covers off of him and pushing him out of the bed. "TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS!" she yelled at his shivering, half-naked body. "GET MOVING!"

**...**

Percy stared hopelessly at the mall directory. The random splotches of colors and numbers and the corresponding code below them made absolutely no sense to him. "I have no idea where to go."

Sally, on the other hand, was loaded down with shopping bags- mostly clothes for herself, since she'd done her Christmas shopping months in advance. "Oh, come on."

"I'm serious!"

"You can't be serious!"

"I am!"

Sally sighed. "Just think about what girls like."

"Constant male approval and attention, even at irrelevant and spontaneous times?"

"Perseus Poseidon Jackson!"

"That's not even my middle name."

Sally sighed again. "It's what Poseidon wanted," she said. "Now that I say it I realize how silly it sounds. Never mind!" she turned back to the directory. "What do girls like?"

"You're asking me?"

"Well, half of camp _is_ girls."

"Yeah, but they like fighting and swords and electric spears and stuff."

"Percy, it's been four years since you went to camp and you still know less about girls than Grover does."

Percy stayed silent.

Exasperated, Sally threw her hands up in the air. "Clothes! Shoes! Jewelry! Something they can wear and say, 'Someone cares about me enough to buy me this!' Something they can _show_ _off_."

"Oh." A pause. "You mean..."

"Unbelievable," Sally thrust some of her bags at him and grabbed his arm, steering him towards the closest store she could find.

**...**

Percy stared helplessly at the endless racks and glass cases of jewelry. "I have no idea what to get."

Sally adamantly sat on one of the waiting benches. "I refuse to help you," she said. "You are a teenage boy, about as mature as they get. You should be able to shop for your girlfriend on your own."

Percy craned his neck to look at her. "Yeah, but I seriously have no idea what to get."

"What would Annabeth like? God, I can't believe you don't know how to shop."

"She'd like..." Percy faltered. "Well, I guess..."

"Don't tell me! Tell yourself, then look for it!"

Well, she liked architecture and building things. But Percy doubted they'd have a necklace with a pendant of the Eiffel tower hanging on it.

The first necklace he saw had a pendant of the Eiffel tower hanging on it.

He brought it back to his mom. "This one seems nice," he said.

Sally sighed. "You can't just pick the first one you see and say you want to buy it," she explained. "You have to actually _look_ for something."

Percy held the chain up so his mom could see the Eiffel tower pendant. "She likes architecture," he explained, "so that's why this would be cool."

"Just because she likes architecture doesn't mean she likes the Eiffel tower," Sally reminded. "Think of what else she likes."

_What else_ does_ she like?_ Percy thought as he walked aimlessly around the store. _Well, there's architecture, but that's on hold. _

_Her Yankees cap._ Percy thought of getting her a Yankees pendant, but he couldn't find any when he looked.

_Me. _No Percy pendants, though that would have been super cool.

_San Francisco? _Annabeth had never really spoken too fondly of her hometown, but it _was _her hometown...

No San Francisco merchandise either. Percy went back to look for the Eiffel tower necklace, but right as he was making his way over to that rack, he overheard a conversation between a customer and one of the store's employees.

"Do you have an Eiffel tower necklace? I'm proposing to my wife today, and I want something to give her in addition to a ring."

"Of course, sir. We have one left."

Percy sighed. As much as he would have liked to give Annabeth the pendant, that guy obviously needed it much more than him. As far as he knew, he wasn't doing anything as important as a proposal anytime soon.

He walked back to his mom, who was still sitting on the bench, and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Absolutely nothing?"

"Nope."

"You checked everywhere?"

"Yes, mom."

"Everything?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"Mom! I checked! I'm sure!"

Sally nodded. "There will be other places," she said. "Come on."

**...**

"American Eagle Outfitters? Who comes up with a name like that?"

"I don't know."

"Well, it's a stupid name."

"Percy, the point isn't the name of the store, the point is that they have fashionable, modern clothes there, so that's where we're going."

Percy shrugged, his hands in his pockets. Who was he to judge stores at the mall? He knew about as much about the mall as Grover did.

He was randomly looking at the windows of shops they passed by on the way to American Eagle, not really paying attention to anything, when a shirt in one of the display windows caught his eye. He stopped in his tracks. "Mom."

Sally turned around. "What is it, Percy?"

He pointed to the store he was looking at. "Can we go in? I think I saw something I liked."

Sally looked at the store and sighed. "Gymboree, Percy, really? I used to take you there when you were six!" But she obligingly followed him into the children's clothing store.

He made his way to one of the clothing racks in the back, the ones with a few kids and adults shirts. He pulled one off of the hanger and held it up in front of him. "Like it?"

It was a dark blue shirt with the word "Jenuis" spelled in white block letters across it.

Sally just stared.

"Say it out loud."

"Percy, you are _not_ getting her that."

"Why not?"

"It's an insult to her heritage and her intelligence!"

"No it's not."

"You should be the one getting that shirt, not her!"

Percy looked at the shirt again and then at his mom. "I like it," he said smiling. "I think it's funny."

Sally stared at it for a little while longer. "Well, I guess I shouldn't have expected anything better from you."

**...**

He'd risked a call early Christmas morning and asked Annabeth to meet him at his apartment to exchange presents. He had been glad when she'd agreed, as if he'd expected her to suddenly not like him anymore.

Percy spent quite a while figuring out how to wrap or in some way hide his present from her, opting at the end to just fold it up with the "Jenius" part on the inside, because he was running out of time and she would be there any second.

He'd just finished the last fold on his shirt when the doorbell rang.

He yelled for his mom to stay where she was and to not move or listen to anything as he rushed to the door. He opened the door to see Annabeth on the doorstep, shivering and dripping with water.

"Hey," he grinned.

She smiled back. "Hi. Can I come in?"

Percy inwardly cringed and stepped aside. "Yeah. Sure."

She stepped inside as he closed the door, and she took off her jacket and let it fall to the ground. "It's freezing out there," she said. "And raining."

Percy put a hand on her sleeve and focused his powers on drying her off. It must have worked, because her whole body relaxed after a moment and she sighed with pleasure. "That will never get old. Thanks."

Percy smiled. "It's nothing. Come to the living room?" He followed her there so as not to give away the fact that her present was behind his back.

They sat next to each other on the couch and she leaned over and placed her head on his shoulder. "So. How's life?"

Percy thought for a second. "I don't know. Probably a lot better than death would be."

She nodded slowly. "Intelligent."

He produced the shirt from behind his back and set it on the couch between them. "Your present," he said nervously as she straightened up and unfolded it. "Hope you like it."

The look on her face when she'd fully unfolded it and looked at it was priceless. It was like she was thinking, _Really? You really want to go there?_

Out loud, she said, "Impressive."

"Really?"

"No. But I like it. The irony speaks for itself, in a way. At least, it's more original than I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?"

She sighed and put her arms around him. "I don't know. But thanks. The shirt's great, I'll wear it a lot. And I'm sorry, but my acceptance of your present also happens to be doubling as your present."

It took a minute for Percy to realize what she meant, but when he did, it didn't bother him. He hugged her tighter and closer to him. "It's okay," he said, "the best presents don't come in boxes, hence my boxless present to you. I'll treasure your gift forever."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** It took a while for me to get the idea for what that was going to be about, but when it came to me, this whole chapter just banged itself out, just like that! I love when that happens.

Anyways, reviews would be greatly appreciated! And flames wouldn't be!

**-epicsilverbullet**


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Notes:** This is a chapter about Facebook. Specifically, about Percy discovering it and about his confusion over it. I originally had this as an AU where they were all mortal, but I went back to the books and ultimately found out a loophole for how they could use electronics without attracting monsters. And no, Hephaestus doesn't _magically_ create monster-resistant electronics. That idea's dumb. And overused. Sorry, but it's true.

During the making of this chapter, my computer decided to randomly shut down to install updates, randomly shut down to conserve battery, randomly shut down for no reason (that happened three times), randomly freeze (four times), and not save (once). As you can see, it seems like some supernatural force didn't want me to finish writing this, but here it is. I hope you enjoy it. It took a lot of trouble to write, but I'm happy with the end result.

This is post TLO. Originally going to be part of The Gods Must Be Crazy, but because of all the time it took to write and its length, I decided to make it an independent one shot. And then no one read it (hehe) so I moved it here so that people would see it. Hope you like it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own PJO

* * *

"Facebook?"

"Facebook."

"What kinda dumbass name is that?"

Grover shook his head. "Bad words are for bad people, Percy," he chastised.

Exasperated, Percy ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, but what do you _do_ on it?"

"You connect with people without having to actually...you know...connect with them."

"Oh yeah, I know about that, I know what it is. It's called _laziness_. America is the land of the obese, and it's because of things like this!"

"It's called _innovation_," Grover corrected. "Sometimes you don't _want_ to have to talk to someone. You want to put the least amount of effort into communication, and where do you go? Facebook!" He smiled. "It's _genius_!"

"Damn wrong."

"You need to _experience_ it to know what I'm talking about."

Percy laughed. "That one sentence is the epitome of how the worst things that have ever happened in my life got started."

"Such as?"

"Archery. Solitaire. Girls. M&Ms. If you gave me a pen and paper, I could list a bunch more."

"Girls? All girls?"

"Besides Annabeth. Wait, no, scratch that. Yes, all girls." Percy sighed. "How could you even experience Facebook, anyways? You're a satyr. You attract monsters."

Grover shook his head. "No, we don't. Since we aren't actually demigods, none of your fatal restrictions apply to us." He bleated out a laugh. "Sucks to be you."

"Thanks, Grover."

"Hello."

Nico's voice came from Percy's left and he whirled his head around. "Nico? What are you doing here?"

Nico shrugged. "Listening to you guys talk about Facebook."

"_How are you listening?"_

"The perks of being a child of death. We know everything that's going on. We kinda...you know...have to. Because we're children of death. And death has to know everything."

"So you're spying on me, is what you're saying."

Nico shook his head. "It's complicated to explain. Basically, my subconsciousness sensed that a conversation was happening between two of my friends and that the conversation was about Facebook. Since I appeal to both of those things, it was brought to a higher level of my brain, where it gradually worked its way up to one of the top priorities. These I'm able to scan and react to- the whole process takes about a tenth of a second."

Percy stared at him. "That's pretty scientific."

Nico shrugged. "Yeah, well." He turned his attention to Grover, or, at least, where he thought Grover was. "You there, buddy? Dammit, I wish you could move Iris-Messages."

Percy groaned. "Nico, how can you be on Facebook? How can it _appeal_ to you? You aren't a satyr, are you?"

"Yes, I'm a satyr."

"Seriously?"

"No, stupid!" Nico stepped aside, out of the frame of the Iris-Message, so Percy could see behind him. He was standing in his cabin at camp, and through the window Percy could see the climbing wall, part of the forest, and the dining hall. "Monsters can't kill you if you're in camp, because of the magical borders. That's how Annabeth and a few other people can use their phones all the time."

"You have a computer in camp," Percy guessed.

Nico nodded. "Yeah. Some Hephaestus kids got help from their dad."

"They built electronics that are monster-resistant?"

Nico shook his head. "No, that's dumb. Hephaestus would have done that a while ago if it was possible. Instead, these guys have just built a bunch of computers. We're storing them in the Big House. We mostly use them to complete online transactions for our strawberry farm, but the campers are allowed to use them, too. Most don't, though. They have better things to do."

"Such as?"

"Fishing."

"Nico, you know I hate that."

Nico grinned. "I gotta go. Archery time. See you later." He slashed his hand through the mist and his image dissipated.

Percy spun around in his swivel chair. "How did you even discover Facebook?" he asked Grover.

Grover shrugged and tried to flatten down some of his curly hair. "You pretend to be a human teenager for a while, you catch up on human traditions. Plus, all satyrs are required to carry phones. Both to seem like human beings and also to be in contact with camp, since satyrs don't get affected by monsters for using phones- did I mention that already?

"I believe you did."

"One of the perks of being half-goat."

"Yeah, how does that half-goat thing even work? Like, was your dad the human? Because _that_ must have been an awkward experience, but not as awkward as if your dad was the _goat_, which would have been-"

"Let's go back to the original subject," said Grover, "which is that you should get a Facebook."

"That wasn't the original subject. And no, I'm not getting a Facebook."

"Well, you should."

"Well, I won't. Goodbye."

And he slashed his hand through the mist, ending the Iris-Message.

* * *

Curiosity later got the better of him, though, like it usually did, and before long, he was on his mom's computer. Admittedly, he didn't use the computer that much, because he wasn't sure if monsters could sense him using it (since it was his _mom's_, not his), and he didn't want to take any chances. But he figured one usage wouldn't be too bad.

He'd waited until his mom left for work (the day after his dual Iris-Messages) before going onto her computer.

The website required a username and password. He didn't have a phone number to use for the username, for obvious reasons, but his school automatically created an email account for each student, to be meant to be used only for school-related work.

He typed it in the username bar.

His password was one he'd gotten to choose when the accounts were first created. **bluecookies.**

And he was in.

It didn't look like much. The whole layout was pretty confusing, and he wasn't sure exactly what he could do on it.

There was something called "News Feed", which was what he was currently on. There were a couple of search or text entry bars at the top, and some weird symbols in the corners. He was sure it would have been great if he knew how to work the site, but he didn't, so it wasn't.

He was about to sign out from frustration (and the fact that his ADHD told him he had better things to do than sit around at a computer for hours), when something happened. A comment popped up in the middle of his news feed.

**Thalia Grace:** Percy?

Percy groaned. _No way!_

**Percy Jackson: **Yeah. Hi.

**Thalia Grace: **You're on! Great!

**Percy Jackson: **And how is that great?

**Thalia Grace:** Facebook is great.

**Percy Jackson:** To me it just seems like a big waste of time. How are you even on, anyways?

She _was_ a demigod, which technically meant that she would also attract monsters wherever she went. Right?

**Thalia Grace:** One of the perks of being immortal.

Percy sighed. It seemed almost like no one had the problems with monsters that he did.

**Percy Jackson: **You know, Nico said almost the same thing to me a few hours ago. How did you even find out about Facebook anyways? And why would you even consider getting one? And how would you go about doing that?

**Thalia Grace:** One of the new girls told me about it, I considered getting one because since I'm immortal and it's not, I might as well experience it before it dies, and I'm using Hermes' phone for it.

**Percy Jackson:** He let you have his?

**Thalia Grace:** No- he's the CEO of some fruit company that also makes phones...Cranberry? Orange?

Percy stared at the screen for a second and then sighed and hung his head.

**Percy Jackson: **Thalia, is that company named Blackberry?

**Thalia Grace:** That's it! I got it!

**Percy Jackson:** What is it?

**Thalia Grace:** Apple! I still don't know why they make phones, though, seeing as they're a fruit company.

Oh, jeez.

**Percy Jackson: **Hmm. Must be a relatively small company, because I haven't heard of them. He let you have one?

**Thalia Grace:** Yeah. I went on a Safari to see what Facebook was, and then I got hooked. Are you going to friend me?

**Percy Jackson:** Am I going to what?

**Thalia Grace:** Friend me. You know.

**Percy Jackson: **As a matter of fact, I don't.

**Thalia Grace:** If you click on my name, it will take you to my profile, where you can click on something that says, "Add Friend", and then we'll be friends!

**Percy Jackson: **We aren't already friends?

**Thalia Grace: **Of course we are. But if you do that, we'll be Facebook friends.

**Percy Jackson: **Facebook Friends? Thalia, I don't even _like_ Facebook. I only came on because Grover and Nico made me.

**Thalia Grace: **YOU DON'T LIKE FACEBOOK?

**Percy Jackson: **I'm just telling you my personal opinion. And besides, doesn't Artemis disapprove of it?

**Thalia Grace: **She doesn't care. Two thousand years ago, chess was the equivalent of this. It's a passing fad. She knows that.

**Percy Jackson: **Why would you take part in passing fads?

**Thalia Grace: **Most of the things you do are passing fads, when you think about it.

Percy shrugged. She had a point.

Then-

**Percy Jackson:** I can't believe I'm wasting my time on this site where a monster could potentially attack me at any second. I'm leaving.

**Thalia Grace: **WAIT! FRIEND ME!

**Percy Jackson: **I don't have time for that.

**Thalia Grace: **So we aren't friends?

**Percy Jackson: **Thalia, of course we're friends.

**Thalia Grace: **But you won't friend me?

**Percy Jackson: **What does friending have to do with being friends?

**Thalia Grace: **LISTEN TO YOURSELF! EVERYTHING!

**Percy Jackson: **I won't friend you.

**Thalia Grace: **So we aren't friends?

**Percy Jackson: **Yes, we are!

**Thalia Grace: **But you won't friend me?

**Percy Jackson: **No.

**Thalia Grace: **So we aren't friends?

**Percy Jackson:** WE ARE FRIENDS. JUST NOT ON MINDLESS INTERNET SITES.

**Thalia Grace: **But you won't friend me?

**Percy Jackson: **That is correct.

It took a while for Thalia to reply for the last time.

**Thalia Grace: **So let me get one thing straight: you and I are NOT friends?

"God dammit!" Percy threw his hands up in the air, and the sudden unbalanced surge toppled his desk chair onto its side, sending him out onto the hardwood floor.

Percy looked up at the sky, where he assumed Mount Olympus was. "Jeez, sorry!"

* * *

After rubbing his elbow and cursing a lot, Percy sat on his bed and sent his weekly Iris-Message to Annabeth, who was, at the moment, in camp.

She was in her cabin when the message arrived and looked less than happy when she saw Percy at the other end. "Well," she said, arms crossed, "look who's here."

Percy stared at her. "What happened? Something wrong?"

Annabeth stared right back. "You look cute in a bunny costume."

"I _what?"_

"You look cute in a bunny costume."

"Are you feeling all right?"

"You look cute in a bunny costume," she repeated for the third time. "What do those words mean to you?"

Percy stared at her. "Dude, I have _no_ idea."

She stood up off of her bed. "Do you happen to know who said that?" she asked.

Percy shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about." A thought struck him. "Does this have anything to do with Faceboo_k? _Because I _hate_ that-"

"As a matter of fact, it _does_, have something to do with Facebook," she said, cutting him off. "A picture of you in your Halloween costume when you were four found its way onto Facebook, and a girl named Ashley said, 'You look good in a bunny costume.'"

Percy narrowed his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Annabeth held up her hands as if she was on the defensive. "Hey, I'm not _accusing_ you of anything-" the way she said it, it sounded exactly like she was accusing him of something "- I'm just _saying_."

"What exactly are you _saying?"_

She shrugged. "Nothing. Everything. Something. All I know is that this 'Ashley' is on my watch list, and so are you."

"You know, you've never really been the jealous type."

"I'm still not the jealous type. I'm the _territorial_ type."

"That sounds dehumanizing."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Territoriality is dehumanizing. So is holding a government position. Dehumanization is not the point." She paused. "The _point_ is this Ashley girl."

Percy sighed. "I don't even _know_ her."

"Well, apparently _she_ knows _you_."

"What do I care?"

"Like I said," she repeated, "I'm not accusing you of anything, nor am I making any assumptions. I'm just _saying_."

"Well, you seem to be just _saying_ a lot." He thought for a second. "Why am I even having this conversation? And why does everybody suddenly seem to be obsessed with Facebook?"

"You're having this conversation because I'm mad, and when women are mad, men are naturally obligated to have a conversation with them." She smiled. "I don't know why no one has bothered to manipulate feminism before. And no one is suddenly obsessed with Facebook anymore- you're now in the loop, meaning you now notice everything that has anything to do with the loop. It's a basic fact of life. Once you're in, you're in."

"Kind of like Fight Club?"

"Exactly like Fight Club," she said, "in that it is the exact opposite."

He sighed. "My life now is like the plot of a teenage romance novel. Too much drama made up from things that no one cares about. Why don't I just delete Facebook right now?"

"Because," she said, "the point of such things existing is for them to be manipulated by their users and operators. For example, I could hack into your profile right now and block Ashley from you."

"Or," said Percy, noticing a motion outside his window, "I could stop this conversation right now and worry about the monster outside my window."

Annabeth snapped to attention. "A monster? Why?"

Percy pulled his sword out of his pocket. "Why do you think?" he said.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

"I'll give you one guess."

Percy crouched behind his bed as the monster patrolled the balcony outside his room. It was a hideous creature, something he'd never seen before, and it looked kind of like a wolf, walking on all fours and growling menacingly. "Stupid Facebook!" he replied, "that website is evil!"

Annabeth was craning her neck around as if that act could somehow allow her to see the wolf-like thing. "Is this Iris-Message between you and the monster?"

Percy nodded. "Yeah."

"And the back isn't transparent, right?"

"How am I supposed to know that?" Percy asked. "The monster will see me if I go back there to check!"

"Well, don't you know? I mean, how many Iris-Messages have you sent in your life?"

Percy gritted the teeth. "You want me to use you as camouflage," he guessed. "You want me to use the Iris-Message to shield myself from view. As if that will somehow combat the wolf's sense of smell."

Annabeth shook her head. "It's Iris's main method of representation," she said. "It's as good as actually having a god here, shielding you from being detected. Unless you make a bunch of noise."

Percy sighed. "And if it doesn't work? Like, if he smells me, or sees me, or someone at camp makes a bunch of noise and I die?"

"You'll have to risk it. It's worth a shot."

"Well, that's easy for _you_ to say."

She shrugged. "What other options do you have? Now, get behind the Iris-Messsage!"

Percy waited until the monster's back was turned, and then he slipped behind the Iris-Message. Thankfully, it was big enough so that he could stand comfortably behind it.

He looked in the stand-up mirror that was propped against his closet door. From the angle he was at, he got a perfect view of the balcony and the wolf, who was still prowling the whole length of it.

Annabeth got close to the edge of the Iris-Message. "What is it?" she asked? "What are you looking at?"

"A mirror," he answered, "I can see the whole balcony with it."

She put her head in her hands. "You idiot! A mirror works _two ways!_"

"Shit!" Percy cursed. He grabbed the closest thing to him and chucked it at the mirror.

That thing happened to be his math textbook.

The glass in the mirror shattered, and the book fell to the ground amidst the glass with a loud _crunch!_ The mirror swayed for a second and then toppled over onto the both of them.

Unfortunately, the monster whirled his head around and was staring straight through his sliding glass door and at the Iris-Message. He wasn't rushing through the door, so Percy knew the monster couldn't see him, but now...now it was only a matter of time.

The monster slowly stalked closer to the window and pressed his nose up to it. Hot breath steamed the glass.

Percy reached his hand up and placed his finger on the light switch. "What are you doing?" Annabeth hissed.

He shushed her. "Quiet. I'll distract him with this and then kill him."

"How?"

"Slashing through the Iris-Message with Riptide."

"Good thinking. Iris-Messages can only be broken by the touch of a demigod, not by inanimate objects. This way, there's no risk of him seeing the sword before it hits him, and if you miss, you might get a second chance."

Percy stared at her. "Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah, that was my...my thought process. Totally."

She rolled her eyes. "Obviously."

Whether it had somehow heard their conversation, whether it was acting upon the loud crash made by the mirrors, or whether it was just inspecting the source of its uneasiness, Percy didn't know, but the wolf-like thingy swung its paw at the sliding glass door and it exploded in a hail of glass. Percy winced as some of the shards embedded themselves in his skin and drew blood.

Annabeth jumped up from her position on the bed and covered her mouth with her hands to muffle the sound. Her eyes revealed what she was thinking. _Shit! Are you okay?_

Percy's arm was starting to get tired from being in a raised position for a long time.

The monster was staring intently at the drops of blood on the floor. A low growl escaped his mouth.

Percy froze.

Annabeth froze.

The monster raised his head towards the back of the Iris-Message and took a tentative step forwards. He left Percy's line of vision, but Percy could hear him sniffing the back of it.

Percy's arm started to tingle and lose feeling. Riptide was poised and ready.

Annabeth stared at him, her eyes full of fear.

He stared back, expression hardened.

It was time.

His whole body tensed up and his fingers tightened around the light switch.

He flicked the switch up. Such a simple act with such horrifying implications and results.

His original thought process was that the monster would look up at the light bulb that had just flickered on above him, giving Percy a small window of time to jab the sword through the Iris-Message and kill him. Unfortunately, what actually happened was that the monster pounced up at the light switch and Percy's stab would have missed by a mile, had the monster not tackled him in the process.

Riptide flew out of his hand and onto his bed, while the monster flew into him and knocked him to the floor. Annabeth yelped at the sight of Percy randomly just falling, the monster appearing seemingly out of thin air. "Percy!"

Percy held the monster by it's neck at arms length, so that his face was just out of head-biting-off range. "I'm kind of in the middle of something here!"

"Holy shit! How did it find you?"

"Long story!" Percy jerked his head to the side as the monster momentarily escaped from his grasp and lunged down at his throat. It ended up with a mouthfull of hardwood floor, which startled it for long enough so that Percy could grab onto it and hold it aloft. "Any ideas of how I can beat this thing? Any weaknesses you know of?"

Annabeth studied it for a second. "I've never seen that thing before!" she yelled back. "I have no clue what it even is!"

The monster writhed and struggled against Percy's arms, and it was all Percy could do to keep it away from his face. "That doesn't help very much!"

Annabeth frantically racked her brain. "I've got it!" she exclaimed. "Momentum is best used against when unhindered! Archimedes wrote a paper on this- I think it's called 'The Momentum Principle'-"

"Annabeth!" Percy yelled."Ideas!"

"It's struggling really hard against you, right?" she asked.

Percy grunted. "You could definitely say that!" he replied. The wolf thing was starting to get heavier by the second.

"How far away is Riptide?"

Percy craned his neck, avoiding blows from the monster's paws. One of its swipes grazed the side of his face and drew blood, but Percy ignored it. "On my bed!" he answered. "Three, four feet at the most!"

Annabeth ran through a few quick calculations in her head. "It'll be close..." she muttered.

"Anything's good at this point!" Percy said. In a few moments, the force of the monster's struggle would be too great for his tired arms to overcome.

"Use its momentum against it!" Annabeth yelled. "Flip over and smash it into the ground, and while it's dazed, jump up onto your bed and grab Riptide, then kill it!"

Percy sighed. His arms shook but he kept them up. "I'm not _fucking_ Iron Man!"

"Just do it!"

Percy narrowed his eyes and then, in one fluid motion, jerked his body to the side and let his arms fall slack. The monster slammed into the floor with a huge force and whimpered in pain.

Percy leaped up onto the bed and grabbed Riptide. "Hurry!" Annabeth yelled.

The monster pounced.

Percy whirled around, Riptide fully extended, and sliced the monster in half in mid-jump. It burst into dust.

He stared at the monster dust on the floor and sucked in a deep breath, then sat back on his bed to catch his breath. "Oh, jeez."

Annabeth let out the breath she'd been holding. "At least you killed it."

Percy stared at the monster dust on the floor. It seemed to be...moving. Closer together. Reforming, somehow. "What the hell?"

"What?"

Percy used his foot to slide the dust off his balcony and down to the street. That would solve whatever problem was happening. "Nothing."

Annabeth caught her breath (Percy didn't know why) and waved goodbye. "I'll see you later, I guess."

Percy nodded. "See you." He slashed his hand through the Iris-Message.

* * *

It was a while before he got around to deleting Facebook. A lot was on his mind.

He wasn't quite sure about the monster _or_ the monster dust, both of which he'd never seen before. The monster looked like something straight out of the depths of Tartarus, one of the unholy creatures that was never supposed to come out. And the dust...he couldn't even explain the dust. All he knew was, the last time strange occurrences happened like that, the Titan War happened and countless numbers of his friends died.

He navigated to his profile and clicked the settings tab. He selected "Delete Account".

As the screen loaded and his account was slowly deleted, he couldn't deny the hesitation he felt. Even though the monster attacked him for using electronics out of camp, he couldn't resist the feeling he was getting that, through the short amount of time he's spent using Facebook, he had touched the edge of an exemplary advanced world of communication.

But then he remembered the monster and the weird-acting monster dust.

The accounted finished deleting.

He didn't notice.

He was too busy, lost deep in thought.


End file.
